Hi, how’s your week going? Hope you’re staying cozy.

When I started dating after my divorce, I typically went out for drinks or dinner with guys. While I felt lucky to try neighborhood spots, it began to feel a little repetitive, as if we were reporting on our lives across the table. So! To mix it up, Freddie and I have been brainstorming different adventures around town, and it’s been great to branch out. Here are five activities we love, plus eight more ideas from friends…

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Hi! How is your week? We are thinking constantly about our L.A. friends and readers; here is a simple list of resources and ways to help, if you can. Hope everyone is safe.

This week, we chatted with the brilliant Aminatou Sow, a writer and interviewer who speaks five languages (!) and has colorful, pattern-happy style that will stop your Instagram scroll. She was head of social impact marketing at Google and co-founder of Tech LadyMafia before launching the cult-favorite podcast Call Your Girlfriend with her friend Ann Friedman. Together, they also wrote the bestselling book Big Friendship. (Remember their week of outfits?)

“I’m all about, nothing is that serious,” Aminatou told me on the phone. “Live your own life. I’m turning 40 this year, and I’m like, okay, what’s going on, I don’t have any of the traditional markers of adulthood. But my vibe is always just, be yourself. I’m excited about getting older.”

Here, Aminatou shares 12 favorite things, including her surprising career advice, a new Irish TV series, and the skirt she’s seeing everywhere…

1. Eyewear: Sunglasses shapes are more fun than regular styles, so I buy sunglasses and then my optometrist makes them into reading glasses. I always wear the same round shape; my glasses are a big part of expressing myself.

2. Beauty: A multistick is fun because I don’t know how to do all that other makeup stuff, but I know how to dab some color on my cheeks. I use this multistick everywhere — lips, cheeks, eyelids — and that’s all I need.

3. Travel ritual: Everyone should care more about their obsessions. My obsession is the post office. I go to the post office in every country that I visit. When I travel, I want to bring souvenirs home in my suitcase, so I ship back my dirty clothes. In Italy, this ended up being an all-day adventure; you walk in, they’re like, do you want a coffee? Do you want a cigarette? I was like, I'm just here to send this box to America, and they didn’t know how to do that. It arrived like a month later.

4. Stamps: My other obsession is stamps. I keep up with the USPS magazine. Did you know there’s an Alex Trebek stamp right now? Also, Shaker furniture stamps. I use Disney villain stamps when I pay my bills. Jafar was on my electricity bill.

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Happy New Year!!! How are you doing?

During transition times, I like to remind myself of the idea of happiness vs. wholeness, and how life is about embracing a complete range of experiences. “Happiness and victory and fulfillment are nice little things that happen to us, but they don’t teach us much,” writes Hugh MacKay. “Wholeness is what we ought to be striving for, and part of that is sadness, disappointment, frustration, failure; all of those things which make us who we are.”

I think about this sentence of his every few weeks of my adult life: “Ask yourself, ‘Is this contributing to my wholeness?’ and if you’re having a bad day, it is.”

No matter what life brings, though, we can look for small moments of joy, so on that note, we asked friends to share their simple pleasures…

1. “Hanging eucalyptus in the shower. I get a bundle at the bodega and roll it with a rolling pin or wine bottle to release the oil. Then, tie it up in the shower and let the steam do the rest of the work. Replace every three to four weeks.” — Aminatou Sow, author of Big Friendship

2. “Pulling out an old, forgotten cookbook and finding a recipe that you want to make, like the braised radicchio from Roger Vergé’s Vegetables in the French Style.” — of The Amateur Gourmet

3. “Watching my kids sleep. I love seeing their faces, relaxed and not-crazy and not fighting, and thinking, ‘I made this human!’” — Alison Piepmeyer of

4. “Going to a warm bar on a cold night. My girlfriend and I love this one that serves $2 bowls of tater tots.” — Abby Mallett, writer and Cup of Jo contributor

5. “Texts [above] from my preteen, whom I adore. You might think that I’m ghosting my child, but these are rapid-fire texts.” — Laura, Big Salad reader

6. Alone time. I can never have enough. Sometimes I go into the bathroom at a party just to be by myself.” — Hunter Harris, podcaster and writer of

7. “Lydia Davis’s short story ‘The Good Taste Contest,’ which is perfect and hilarious. It’s about a husband and wife whose taste is judged by their friends. I always think of it when my husband and I are dealing with banal life stuff, and it makes me laugh every time.” — of

8. “This knit hood, which is so cozy that I even wear it inside.” — Simone Kitchens, New York Magazine editor

9. “Snuggling our rabbit, Honey Bunny, who was supposed to be a weekend guest and has become a treasured member of our household. There’s no bad day that her sweet presence can’t redeem!” — Annie, Big Salad reader

10. “My two-year-old’s face when his classroom door cracks open and he sees me at pickup — I feel like the Beatles on the Ed Sullivan Show. Also, plucking out The Chin Hair every few months.” — Bess Kalb, memoirist and writer of

11. “Ikea napkins are great and ever-changing. I hauled so many home from Sweden this summer and give them as gifts.” — Liz Libré, co-founder of Lewis

12. “My 11-year-old and I watch Parks and Rec in the evening, along with bowls of semi-sweet chocolate chips.” — of Burnt Toast

13. “My husband plays slow songs by Fleet Foxes on his guitar to unwind at the end of the day. I love it.” — Maria, Big Salad reader

14. “When my dog, Leroy, has been sleeping in my bed, so it’s already warmed up for me.” — Ruth Chan, illustrator and author of Uprooted

15. “I get a kick out of bumper stickers in L.A. traffic. My favorites include ‘I’d Rather Be Crying to Enya’ and ‘Honk if you’re letting the soft animal of your body love what it loves’ (shoutout Mary Oliver-heads).” — Hopie Stockman Hill, painter and co-founder of Block Shop Textiles

16. “Knitting baby sweaters quiets my mind. I recently got a stitch counter, which you wear around your neck, and it’s a game changer!” — Jessie Randall, founder of Loeffler Randall and Jessie Loves

17. “Reading poetry is a wonderful way to wind down. I just read Victoria Chang’s gorgeous book, With My Back to the World.” — , author of Slowing and

18. “Watching my kids cuddle my college friends’ babies. It’s like time folds in on itself, and I feel bowled over by love.” — Kathleen, Big Salad reader

19. “On long drives, my husband and I listen to the podcast This Is Actually Happening, where people talk about harrowing experiences, like growing up in a cult. (Photo of my dishy husband driving — is this why I like road trips so much?)” — Catherine Newman, novelist and writer of

20. “Peanut butter toast for breakfast, especially what I call the peninsula bite. That bite where you've eaten all the edges of the toast except for the gooey middle part that you’re holding. Best way to start the day.” — Ashleigh, Big Salad reader

21. “My simple pleasure is reading on the couch with a nice blanket and the cat. When I met my husband eight years ago, I told him, ‘All I want to do is lie on the couch, reading.’” — Anne Lamott, author of many wonderful books (WHOM I SAT BEHIND ON A FLIGHT THIS WEEK!!!!!!!! SHE ASKED TO BORROW AN IPAD CHARGER AND I SAID I LOVED HER SO MUCH I WOULD GIVE HER ANYTHING SHE WANTED AND SHE SAID THAT I LOOKED TOO YOUNG TO BE A MOM OF TEENAGERS AND WE TALKED ABOUT HER WRITING AND SON AND FAITH AND WHEN WE DEPLANED THE LADY BEHIND *ME* SAID SHE COULDN’T BELIEVE I HAD SCORED A SELFIE WITH THE LEGENDARY ANNE LAMOTT AND I SAID NEITHER COULD I!!!!)

1. Falling in love.

2. Bodega flowers.

3. Warm lunches.

4. My baby growing taller than the grandparents. (!)

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1. What Are Your Simple Pleasures? The comments are very fun.

2. A Cool Way to Do New Year’s Resolutions. No hard-and-fast rules.

3. What Glimmers Are You Noticing These Days? Mustaches, for one.

4. 10 Readers Share Their Happy Moments. From passing a driving test to getting a hearing dog. xo

(Cat photo by Jenny Jungle/Stocksy. Cookbook photo by Julia Robbs for Cup of Jo. Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.)

Thank you for reading; we’re so happy you’re here. Coming up soon: a very fun issue with Aminatou Sow, and the sex dynamic I’m noticing women being drawn to these days. Can’t wait to discuss and hear your thoughts, as always!

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Hi! How’s your week going? Welcome to Big Salad’s final issue of 2024!

This year has been wonderful. We LOVED meeting readers at Big Salad events in Chicago and Seattle. We adored interviewing funny women like Bess Kalb and Roxane Gay, seeing friends’ cold-weather uniforms, and celebrating Big Salad’s first birthday. Plus, it’s always a treat to peek into homes, like Abbey’s garden makeover and Anne’s green kitchen.

Finally, I felt thrilled — and relieved — to have a place to talk about new life stages, like building a Hinge profile, going on first dates, having sex post-divorce, and falling for this guy. It’s been a wild year, full of ups and downs, and hearing your thoughts, stories and insights has been a joy and tonic.

We’re deeply grateful for this wonderful community. To show our thanks, we’re offering 20% off annual subscriptions, today and tomorrow. (That’s $4/month.) You’ll receive a full year of Big Salad, plus access to all the archives. You can easily gift a subscription to a friend or relative, as well — and schedule the email to hit their inbox on Christmas morning or the first night of Hanukkah :)

To toast this year, we asked 12 friends to share their 2024 discoveries, including books, movies, and life hacks. (And we’d love to hear yours!) Here goes…

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Parenting hack: For those times when everyone is bored (in a restaurant, on an airplane, at the doctor's office), we often play this drawing game. You fold paper (or a napkin) into thirds, and each person takes a turn creating the head, torso or feet of a person or animal. Sometimes we'll have multiple drawings going around a big table. My 15-year-old and six-year-old both enjoy it, which is a parenting triumph. My older son is also into photography. I love the teenage years — no one talks enough about how fun it is to watch your kid’s talents emerge. Alex won an award for this photo, above!

— Abbey Nova, design historian

Beauty essential: Blush is the only makeup I wear consistently, besides filling in my brows. I love Rhode pocket blushes and Westman Atelier’s stick in Petal.

Pop-culture trend: This was the year of the crash out (dramatic public meltdown). I have to genuflect before my sister Jennifer Lopez, who did it bigger and better than anyone. Lopez made an album and movie and documentary about finding The One... only to get divorced (powerful, chic) within the same calendar year. And then to top it all off with a Bridgerton-themed birthday?

— Hunter Harris, podcaster and writer of

Weekly ritual: I create a different playlist every week — it’s a nice way to remember what was happening and how you were feeling. According to the “wrapped” feature, I listened to more than 108,000 minutes of music in 2024!

Hobby: I like revisiting favorite paintings at the Met — in that way, I feel like they are ‘mine.’ Right now, I am obsessed with Vuillard.

— Gisela Gueiros, art educator and writer of

Travel destination: For the past 10 summers, I’ve vacationed in Positano, Italy. But this July, I decided to go to Anchorage, Alaska. I traded in beaches for blue glaciers, sweaty tees for cozy sweatshirts, linguine alle vongole for cod chowder, and loud crowds for pods of orcas. Doing the familiar is nice — Italy, I still love you! — but doing something different can be mindblowingly cool.

— Somsack Sikhounmuong, creative director at Alex Mill

Poem: When the poem 'I Take My Toddler Out to Dinner' by Maria Ferguson popped up on Instagram, I read it with my hand over my heart. Having taken four of my own toddlers to restaurants over the past decade, I loved the storytelling and its touchable lines. Absolutely delicious.

Kittens: I lost my companion and queen of my heart, Kitty, in November. It was devastating. I wasn’t planning to get another cat anytime soon, but when my sister-in-law told me she was getting an adoptable kitten from a nearby farm, I decided to tag along. I ended up bringing home this brother and sister. I’ll be honest, the first night was hard. I missed my cat. But their playful tromping and sweet purrs have brought a lightness to the house, and I’ve fallen in love. RIP to my plants.

— Kate Baer, poet

eBay finds: Pony-hair Dansko clogs — somehow completely impractical and practical at the same time. This year, I also leaned into my love of vintage Levi’s and bought a few pairs in different sizes, so I’ll always have something that will fit comfortably.

— , brand strategist and writer of

Book: Colm Tóibín’s Long Island came out this year, which was the excuse I needed to read the first in that series, Brooklyn (published over a decade ago to great acclaim) about a young woman who leaves Ireland for New York in the 1950s. Tóibín’s spare, beautiful writing is a balm — I listened to both novels, one after the other, on audio during afternoon walks, and it was one of my favorite moments of the year.

Parenting tip: I learned a new mantra this year: W.A.I.T. which stands for Why Am I Talking? My daughters are 20 and 22, an exciting time, but also a little stressful. As they begin to sketch out road maps for their futures, I find myself tempted to say: This is how I did it or This is how it was done back then or You have to learn to do it this way. I’m their mother, so it’s impossible to completely shut off the advice valve, but I’m doing my best to exercise restraint, instead of adding to any stress and frustration. Why Am I Talking. WAIT. Try it out with a young adult near you.

— , author of many cookbooks and

Shows: The play Oh, Mary! by Cole Escola and the movie Challengers.

Clothing staple: THESE GAY JEANS!

Sports: All the eyes on the WNBA, and one day all of the WNBA with their eyes on me.

— Peyton Dix, podcaster, writer and social media strategist

Travel destination: I went to a conference in Ireland this past summer, and my dad tagged along. We took a train from Dublin to the Forty Foot — which I had seen on Bad Sisters — and it was even more beautiful in person. The water was cold, but I think the salt content (I’m a marine biologist now, ha!) made me feel buoyant. As they say in Ireland, it was GRAND.

Romance novel: My favorite romance is usually whichever one I have most recently read. This week, I read Catherine Walsh’s Holiday Romance, and it was perfection. The first quarter of it takes place in the airport (tension! emotions! arms brushing!) and then it becomes a festive travelogue through Paris, London and Dublin. Great for getting into the holiday spirit.

— Grace Farris, doctor, illustrator, and writer of

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Weeknight recipe: I think I’m in the right place to declare that I eat salad year round! A hearty salad is especially important during the winter months, to save ourselves from the stodge of winter eating. This cabbage, apple and tofu combo is a savior.

Cooking tool: I’ve found my forever kitchen shears in Material Kitchen’s The Good Shears. The gold ones are not only stylish and reliable, but they come apart to cut through box tape and packaging. A cooking essential.

— , writer of cookbooks and

Headline: I can’t stop thinking about NASA astronauts Suni Williams and Butch Wilmor being stuck in space. I’ve tried to imagine how it would feel to plan to leave the planet for eight days — and end up staying away for more than six months. I will read anything they write upon returning.

Hair care: Last week, I cut off eight inches of hair to give myself a proverbial fresh start to 2025. I’m not usually one to wax poetic about viral beauty brands, but I allowed myself to get acquainted with Crown Affair earlier this year, and something about their Cleansing Scrub really does it for me. It makes my tiny bathroom smell like a spa, and the salt granules against my scalp make me think something is actually happening. I rotate it with my regular shampoo, and every time I use it my hair feels extra clean and bouncy.

— of

Interiors trend: Dopamine decor! It’s the exact opposite of millennial gray — you take a bunch of bright colors and somehow make them all work together. At this point, I know everything there is to know about the color wheel.

— Ochuko Akpovbovbo of

What about you? What were your favorite discoveries of 2024?

1. Ashley C. Ford on How Poverty Makes It Hard to Know What You Like. Plus, egg-y breakfasts, Korean rom-coms, and a sexy fragrance.

2. What It Was Like to Have Sex for the First Time Post-Divorce. 10 frequently asked questions from Big Salad readers, including the big one.

3. Caroline Chambers Reveals a Dinner Conversation Starter. The cookbook author on (truly) kid-friendly recipes and the perfect cool girl starter pant.

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1. The Beautiful Jewelry Studio That’s Stolen My Heart. They redesigned my engagement ring — the “before” and “after” rings are very different.

2. Erika Veurink’s Apartment Is Full of Thrifted Treasures. Think: a striped bedroom and Midwest vibes.

3. 10 Things I've Learned Writing This Column. Saying a very fond farewell to Jenny!

4. The Trick to Enjoying Big Family Gatherings. I’ve done this for 20 years.

5. What Parenting Stage Are You In Right Now? Jannelle talks about getting through the day — and grocery store — with a toddler and baby.

6. What Are You Grateful For, Large or Small? The other day, I was watching The Sopranos…

(Jenny Rosenstrach’s family dinner photo by Chelsea Cavanaugh. Hetty McKinnon photo by Shirley Cai. Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.)

Thank you so, so much for a wonderful year, and hope you have a great break! Our next issue will be January 3rd. Lots of love, and take gentle care. xoxo

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Hi! How are you? Hope you’re staying warm and looking forward to the weekend.

A couple weeks ago, my mom met my new boyfriend, Freddie, and I was thrilled that they hit it off. We went out to dinner, and they asked about each other’s hometowns, favorite foods, all those sweet questions that help you get to know someone. They also swapped gifts — my mom gave him Michigan cherry jam, and Freddie had wrapped up a book of essays. My heart!

The one thing that surprised her? His age…

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Hi!! How’s your week going? I’m SOOO EXCITED to feature my friend Alison Piepmeyer in this week’s issue. She’s like our personal Kristen Wiig, with hilarious expressions, funny dances, and goofy anecdotes. As Mindy Kaling says, “a best friend isn’t a person, it’s a tier,” and I feel so lucky to have Alison firmly on mine.

Alison is a social media strategist and content creator, who writes the newsletter Grid Report about exactly how to crush at social media. (She’s really excellent at what she does.) She lives with her adorable family…

…in a Brooklyn brownstone, in which she painted the dining room black and has the coolest wallpaper (see the before-and-after photos below).

Here, Alison shares 11 favorite things, including a nail polish discovery, the dinner recipe she’s made 100 times, and six style tips…

1. Family activity: My husband and I LOVE karaoke, and we discovered that YouTube has almost every song as a karaoke version. So, this fall, we've been karaoke-ing with our kids at home. We even invested in a cheap battery-operated microphone to bust out. My go-to song is Miley Cyrus’s Flowers.

2. Book: A few years ago, I read a poem on the subway (in an ad, lol) and started crying because it was so beautiful. I decided ‘I like poetry now’ and came home and told my husband Zach, who (being the mensch he is) promptly bought me a pile of poetry books so I could figure out my favorite poets. I tried Rumi and E.E. Cummings and a bunch of others, but I especially liked the feelings that Mary Oliver brought up. I read through Devotions after my dad died — he loved nature, so it made me feel close to him.

3. Burger: For date nights, we just walk in and squeeze up to the bar at Inga’s in Brooklyn Heights. They have the BEST burger in Brooklyn (we’ve tried them all). Sean, the owner, once told me that he imagines that Anna Taylor-Joy is eating his burger at the end of The Menu, and I think of that every time we’re there.

4. Kitchen tool: My great lemon zester. I’ve realized that being a good cook is mostly just learning to season things well. Lemon zest can elevate almost any meal. It adds zest to a salad, tops off a soup, and brings the perfect punch of acidity to a pasta, without being overbearing.

   

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Welcome to The November Edit! What do you have planned this week? The boys are getting haircuts today — gotta look fresh at that Thanksgiving table, haha — and I’m tearing through the compulsive novel Long Island (have you read it?).

This month, we’ve sent four Big Salad issues:

• I was so excited to introduce my new boyfriend to you, and I loved reading your sweet comments. He’s meeting my mom tonight, wish us luck!

• 11 friends showed us their gorgeous party looks (the skirts are great)

• LaTonya Yvette shares how to make home a haven, plus the necklace she never takes off and a parenting tip that moved us

• Our annual Gift Guide packed full of 45+ ideas from graphic designer Erin Jang, brand founder Laura Jackson, and books/beauty writer Tembe Denton-Hurst

Have a wonderful holiday, and we will be back in your inbox next Friday…

1. Holiday cards: “I ordered photo cards and my neighborhood ‘niece’ helped me stamp them. At one point, she went to find Toby and Anton because, as she said, ‘I gotta go tell the boys we are doing business.’” — Joanna Goddard, Big Salad founder

2. TV show: “Bad Sisters is back! My twin and I text after every episode of this dark comedy, all about five sisters who plan a murder in Ireland. Season 2 is out now, and I can’t wait to see what they’re getting up to.” — Joanna

3. Boots: “When the temps start to drop, I wear these shearling clog boots 24/7. They’re spendy, but I’ve had mine for almost a decade. They’ve gotten me through snowy New York winters and now I wear them in the Seattle rain. (You can sometimes find them on Poshmark.)” — Maureen Heffernan, Cup of Jo partnerships director

4. Accessory: “My daughter, Willa, is in a ‘hair clippy’ phase and this ice cream one is so cute.” — Maureen

5. Simple pleasure: “During winter break, my family always work on a puzzle. Charley Harper is one of my favorite nature artists and makes 300-piece puzzles, which are perfect for kids. They’re so beautiful, the kind of puzzle you just want to leave out.” — Erin Jang, graphic designer and illustrator

6. Hosting tradition: “Before holiday dinners, my kids make homemade place cards and choose where everyone sits. They consider who each person might like to chat with; it’s really sweet.” — Joanna

7. Recipe: “We’ve added Jenny’s cheesy bean bake to our weekly rotation. I buy heirloom Rancho Gordo beans, which kick up the flavor. It’s super comforting and comes together in a snap.” — Kaitlyn Teer, Big Salad editor

8. Craft: “My kids and I have gotten into air dry clay — it’s easy to work with, and we have fun chats while working with our hands. I bought ABC cookie cutters, so we’ve been making hand-painted letter ornaments to give to family and friends.” — Kaitlyn

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1. The gingerbread cookies that Harling Ross Anton swears by

2. A cool canvas pennant that LaTonya Yvette displays in her home

3. The peanut butter bonbons on Joanna’s holiday wishlist

4. Laura Jackson’s hoop earrings from our Gift Guide

After I introduced my boyfriend, Freddie, who is a teacher, a reader named Claire wrote: “I teach middle school, and my brother has Down syndrome. I regularly talk about him to my students because (1) he’s an icon, and (2) it’s a chill low-key way to make disability feel like NBD and fun and normal! He came to my school today, and kids were swarming the door. The hallway was a din of ‘Cal’s here!’ ‘Cal?’ ‘Yeah! Cal!!!’ It made my heart explode that he was THE CELEBRITY OF CELEBRITIES.”

In reply to our Gift Guide, Jessica said, “Why did I tear up when Tembe said she peeked behind the curtain and learned to make her own magic?”

Finally, a San Francisco-based reader named Annie wrote: “I’ve been a CoJ reader for 12 years, ever since Joanna wrote about our wedding announcement. Wanted to share that I liked Stella's holiday dress so much that I got it. My kids are divided on whether the holes are acceptable for holiday parties, but I love it.”

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Let’s have some fun! We made you a Connections puzzle based on past Big Salad issues. Email us at newsletter@cupofjo.com if you can solve it!

1. Ashley C. Ford Shares How Poverty Makes It Hard to Figure Out What You Like. The author tells us about she learned her own preferences, which now include egg-y breakfasts and a dangerously sexy fragrance.

2. My First Date After Divorce. “I blacked out and resuscitated myself a dozen times during the cab ride to dinner.”

3. How Dreamy Is Anne Helen Petersen's Book-Filled Island Cottage? Plus, the culture reporter on Taylor Swift gossip.

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1. Gift Guide #1: Brothers. 10 gifts, including cool slippers and a funny game.

2. Gift Guide #2: Best Friends. 10 presents, like gooey cookies and velvet bag.

3. Gift Guide #3: Kids. 10 fun ideas, including mini cereal (always so exciting!).

4. Gift Guide #4: Moms. 11 gifts, such as chocolate mice and the best blush.

5. Gift Guide #5: Boyfriends/Husbands. 10 presents, like a glowy lamp and swapping your favorite books.

6. Gift Guide #6: Sisters. 11 gifts, including a buttery cheese and the perfect shirt.

7. Gift Guide #7: Dads. 12 present ideas, including a buzzy book and funny treats.

8. Gift Guide #8: Girlfriends/Wives. 12 gifts, like sexy undies and fancy snacks.

9. My Go-To Place for Holiday Presents. Offbeat ideas for everyone on your list.

Plus, read our Big Salad gift guide, if you’d like. xoxo

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(Bean bake photo by Christine Han for The Weekday Vegetarians. Ornament photo by MANEHgifts / Etsy. Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.)

There’s a lot going on in the world right now, but I’m curious: What are you grateful for, as we head into this weekend? I’m grateful for this smart, funny, beautiful community; teenagers who crack me up; and the fact that my friend is bringing cheesy potatoes to Thanksgiving dinner. Lots of love to you, and take gentle care.

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Hi!

How’s your week going? First off, thank you for being so sweet about my new boyfriend last week. I was so excited to introduce you, and I loved reading your comments. Some made me laugh, like Rebecca’s: “The post that ignited a thousand group chats.” Others warmed my heart, like Aya’s: “Reading this was such a delight, and I felt like Elizabeth Bennet’s dad saying something like, ‘I could not have parted with you, [Joanna], to anyone less worthy.’” Sobbbbbbb. Thank you for being part of this community and chatting about all the wild ups/downs of life.

Today, we’re so excited to share our gift guide, plus fun holiday rituals (please share yours in the comments, if you’d like!)…

First up, here are four gifts on my own wishlist…

1. Napkin rings: These six napkin rings in rich brown would make a dinner party — or even Tuesday night pizza — feel special.

2. Chocolate: My sister and I go nuts for Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, and this fancy version is 100x better. We’ve sent them to each other in past years, and I’m crossing my fingers for this December, too.

3. Lamp: Our house is warm and glowy — except for my bedroom which can feel spooky at night. On my wishlist is this recycled lamp with soft, pretty light.

4. Scarf: My winter coat is perfunctory, so I’m hoping for a giant ice blue scarf to make things feel more elegant and beautiful. (It comes in 16 colors.)

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Next up, three friends share their traditions and gift ideas…

Erin Jang is an incredible graphic designer and illustrator, as well as a good friend. You may recognize her work from The New York Times Magazine and books like How Are You Feeling and You Me We! She lives in NYC with her husband and two sons.

Erin’s holiday tradition is hosting a sleepover with her sister’s family. “After our kids ‘go to bed’ (they’re definitely wide awake, goofing off with cousins), we send the husbands out for late-night snacks and stay up to watch a movie,” she told us. “In the morning, we exchange gifts and take a neighborhood walk.“

1. Olive oil: Edible gifts are the best, and I’m a sucker for packaging. This olive oil with basil is so cute. I’d happily display the container (and even refill it!).

2. Slipper socks: If I were choosing a present to give multiple people, it would be slipper socks. They’re fleece lined and come in fun colors.

3. Fruit tree: A citrus tree doesn’t require a green thumb, and you can look forward to the fruit it will bear. Years ago, I gave one to my mother-in-law, and it’s still thriving.

4. Pouches: I’m always happy to give and receive Baggu pouches — you can never have too many. I’m forever running around the city, and these pouches make me feel organized even when I’m not!

5. Journal: The 365 Journal is my ideal notebook. The design is perfectly minimal  — every blank page is numbered, one through 365. In the coming year, I’m hoping to keep a visual journal by sketching something every day.

6. Print: I released a print for Heart of Dinner, an organization that addresses food insecurity and loneliness among Asian American elders. The print — called ‘gyeoul’ (Korean for ‘winter’) — honors the comforting foods and rituals of the season.

7. Lemon squeezer: A cool citrus squeezer would make a whimsical but also functional gift.

8. Frame: This year, I’ve asked both my kids to make a drawing of our family, and I’ll display them in wooden frames. A few years ago, we did a gift swap with my sister’s family, and my son made her a family portrait. I was like, wait, I want that!

1. T-shirt: This is the perfect men’s T-shirt. The slub cotton and cut are just right. I've already given my husband a bunch, but he’s always happy to get a new one.

2. Bookend: My husband has lots of books and records, and this cast iron pigeon would look fun on his shelves.

3. Chili crisp: We love Taiwanese noodles, and this chili crisp is amazing. It’s the perfect stocking stuffer and would also go well with a noodle meal kit.

4. Lotion: I’m always begging my husband to moisturize his hands in the winter. This body lotion would be a fancy step up from his usual Aveeno, and I’m into the santal and vetiver scent.

1. Blanket: I was happy to design this cotton baby blanket, which is knit-to-order and can also be personalized.

2. Kitchen set: I also worked with Material Kitchen to create a kid set of cooking utensils, including a mini-whisk, mini-spatula and fun card deck to build your own recipes. This next month, a portion of each sale will benefit One Love Community Fridge.

3. Puzzle: My older son is into birding, and Bird Collective has the best gifts, like a Birds of Eastern Northern America puzzle that comes with an identification key.

4. Marker: Fair Play Projects is my go-to for art supplies, like these pixel markers, which let you draw your own 8-bit art.

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is a broadcaster and founder of UK-based home goods brand Glassette and writes , a newsletter we read for entertaining and home decor ideas. She lives in East London with her husband and three children.

When it comes to holiday traditions, “I love trimming the tree with the kids,” she says. “We put on Christmas music and have a go at crafting our own decorations.”

1. Coffee-table book: The Seasonal Gardener’s cover is so pretty, I’d simply wrap it in a bow, instead of covering it with wrapping paper! It would pair well with seed packets or a nice pot.

2. Glassware: These ripple drinking glasses come in beautiful colors and double as delightful vases.

3. Ceramics: I love the beauty of handmade plates; this one’s made in Japan.

4. Jewelry: Hoop earrings from Otiumberg make for a lasting gift. I wear them all the time, and everyone asks where they’re from.

5. Scarf: Head scarves made of regenerative wool would make a great gift.

6. Shampoo: We all love a nice pamper. I recently discovered shampoo bars scented with bergamot and rosemary. (Ed. note: U.S. readers might enjoy Conscia stones, which Erin Boyle swears by.)

1. Treasure chest: I gave my son a personalized treasure chest for his birthday — it even comes with a key! My kids collect things they find on walks, so I imagine it will soon be filled to the brim with stones.

2. Game: Farm Bingo is fun to play when the whole family comes over. Our youngest is 18 months and doesn’t have a clue what’s going on but finds the calling out and excitement hilarious.

is a books and beauty writer and publishes the newsletter . You may have read her novel, Homebodies, and earlier this year, she shared her romantic bookstore proposal.

Tembe and her wife always host a ‘Friends Christmas.’ “My wife makes legendary hot chocolate,” she says. “She froths oat milk and slowly blends in chocolate. Then she puts a Hershey’s Kiss and cinnamon stick in every mug and serves it dusted with nutmeg and topped with a marshmallow snowman.”

“You have to create the things you want,” says Tembe. “It’s like, you get older and peek behind the curtain and there’s no one there. It’s just the women in your family who care about making things special for everyone. I have a deeper level of appreciation for my grandmother, aunts, and mom, and I look around and am like, ‘Wait, now it’s my turn to make that magic.’”

1. Bowl: I prefer eating from a bowl-plate (“blate”), versus a dinner plate. My wife and I are homebodies, and it’s nice to give your partner something you can enjoy at home together.

2. Sweater: People are into mohair right now, and a sweater in a bold color — like tomato-y red — would make a fun gift for a friend.

3. Makeup: I love ultra-shiny lip balms, and so do all my friends. Eadem just launched their softening balms in great colors.

4. Soap: Anything that elevates someone’s daily rituals makes a nice gift. Soft Services has an exfoliant buffing bar, which is pricey — Dove does not cost that — but also fancy and sexy.

5. Utensils: These hand-carved wooden cooking utensils are so beautiful. I’d pair with a fun food gift, like striped pasta. 

6. Candle: I’ve written LOTS of candle reviews for magazines, and Maison Louis Marie No. 4 is my top pick for gifting, because it’s such a straightforward, clean scent. It’s perfect for anyone who is hard to shop for.

1. Keyring: Craig Hill has a cool carabiner keyring that can be engraved.

2. Playing cards: I come from a big game-playing family, and a deck of cards makes a fun stocking stuffer. It’s also a great group gift, because you can choose a different design for each person.

1. Funko Pop: For kids — or my dad, who’s a big fantasy nerd — I like giving Funko Pops of TV characters or real-life athletes. I also made a friend one of herself.

2. Makeup kit: My six-year-old sister is in her dress-up era, so Super Smalls for play jewelry or makeup is my go-to, like this mermaid makeup kit.

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1. Stories: “I listen to recordings of The Moth stories while working, so I put this collection of stories on my wishlist. It’s hard to find time to finish a whole book, but reading a short story in one sitting is perfect.” — Erin

2. Romance: “In Seven Days in June by Tia Williams, the romance was fine, but I loved the mother-daughter relationship.” — Tembe

3. Essays: “These game-changing essays cover everything from friendship to motherhood to business, and give women the tools to get what they want in life.” — Laura

4. Art: “Christopher Neiman is one of my favorite illustrators. Pianoforte, his beautiful art book, follows his struggle to relearn piano as an adult.” — Erin

5. Drawing book: “Angela Nguyen’s How to Draw Cute Stuff series is the best. She has books on drawing mythical beasts, woodland friends, you name it. Every kid I’ve given these to adores them.” — Erin

6. Children’s classic: “An oldie but goodie: The Giant Jam Sandwich by John Vernon Lord. Charity shops are great if you’re shopping for kids’ books.” — Laura

7. Youth magazines: “I like giving my kids magazine subscriptions, because I want them to appreciate print journalism, and it’s always exciting to get something in the mail. My kids tear into The Week Junior when it arrives and then come find me in the kitchen to talk about what they read. Other magazines we’ve liked include Anorak, Illustoria, and Ask.” — Erin

8. Picture books: “I’m a big fan of the entire series of The Questioneers — from Ada Twist, Scientist to Iggy Peck, Architect. These kids are figuring out who they are, and exploring different career paths.” — Tembe

(Graphic design by Diana Moss. Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like. Thank you so much.)

1. Our Poet Crush Reveals the Coolest Hotel in the World. Aimee Nezhukumatathil tells us about her husband’s love letters and raising teens.

2. Here’s My Hinge Profile. Thoughts?? Plus, five lessons learned.

3. The 2023 Gift Guide. 55 gift ideas from , and , like personalized sweaters, colorful toys and page-turning books.

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1. Gift Guide #3: Your Kids Who Speak in Slang. 10 gifts for children, including a dog book and mini cereal.

2. Gift Guide #4: Your Mom Who Always Sounds Excited When You Call. 11 gifts for mother figures, like chocolate mice and the best blush.

3. Gift Guide #5: Your Boyfriend Who Makes Sexy Playlists. 10 gifts for men, like a glowy lamp and favorite book swap.

4. Gift Guide #6: Your Sister Who Makes You Feel at Home in the World. 11 gifts for sisters, including a buttery cheese and the perfect shirt.

Thank you again for reading. See you next week, and sending love!

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After keeping things quiet for what feels like ages, I’m so excited to introduce my new boyfriend…

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Hello! What are your plans this weekend? We’re focusing on simple pleasures, like goofy children and evening walks. Hope you’re hanging in there.

This week, we spoke with Brooklyn-based about her new book Stand In My Window, in which she explores what home means to her, as a Black woman and mother. You may remember our tour of Mae House, the farmhouse she designed in upstate New York as a sanctuary for BIPOC folks. “I’m such a lover girl,” LaTonya told us. “I love love. I’m fully this way, take it or leave it.” 

Here, LaTonya shares 10 favorite things, including the necklace she never takes off and a parenting tip that moved us…

1. Decor: I like to support Black-owned businesses as much as possible. Rayo & Honey makes the best signs, which we hang in our home.

2. Beauty: I love a creamy brown lipstick. It feels old-school, very Lauryn Hill, very ’90s. I’ve always loved that decade’s richness in terms of fashion and style, of natural hair and chocolate tones.

3. Easy dinner: Spaghetti with pesto. There’s one particular basil pesto my kids like, and it’s not the one I make! My kids will always eat it, so I serve it at least once a week, no complaints.

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Hi! How’s your week going? During this nail-biting time, we’re excited to chat about something warm and festive: holiday parties with loved ones.

A few weeks ago, I went to an election fundraiser with the dress code “cocktail attire.” I borrowed a sparkly skirt from a fashion editor friend and paired it with a soft sweater. The party itself was fun — my date wore this Tim Walz shirt under a blazer, haha — and the only scary part was I had to take the freight elevator up 16 floors. I’m the most claustrophobic person and it took everything I had!!!!

Here, 11 friends show us their gorgeous holiday party looks (the skirts are so good)…

Harling Ross: “Last year, my friend Nina hosted a holiday party and served incredible gingerbread cookies with maple glaze. I texted her the next morning to ask for the recipe, which she enthusiastically shared. For celebrations, I look for sparkly jewelry and tiny velvet bags on eBay.”

Erica Chidi: “One memorable gathering was a caviar and baked potato party — it was the perfect high/low way to kick off the season. I’ve been dressing monochromatically for 10 years, it’s just easier for my brain. I gravitate toward form-fitting midi dresses, plus a coat in the same color. I also like playful sheer socks.”

Kate Baer: “My friend Mo throws the best holiday gatherings. One year, she hired our kids' piano teacher to play, and it felt so fancy and sweet. I recently got this bright red suit, which makes me feel grown up. And I wear this sexy robe after showering while getting ready.”

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Welcome to The October Edit!

How’s it going? My boys are out of their minds excited for Halloween tonight, and I can’t wait to see everyone’s funny costumes in the neighborhood. I’m going as a breakfast sandwich. How about you?

This month, we’ve sent four Big Salad issues:

• I showed my Hinge dating profile, and people were torn on the sunglasses photo!

• Ali LaBelle gave us a tour of her home, which has English countryside vibes

• Roxane Gay shares her 11 favorite things, including her relationship manifesto and the #1 essential she always brings on a plane

• and cookbook writer Julia Turshen reveals a surprising ingredient to put on chicken, the joy she’s found in powerlifting, and the best affordable gift

Tomorrow, we’ll be sending our holiday style issue! *spins, twirls*

1. TV: “I’ve been watching Somebody Somewhere. The third season is already great, and I adore their friendship chemistry. And I’m always happy when shows are set in the Midwest. #midwestisbest” — Joanna Goddard, Big Salad founder

2. Sweater: “Nothing feels cozier than a fisherman sweater, and my favorite is this one in baby blue, which is a big color this fall. How cute would it be paired with brown pants?”— Joanna

3. Playlist: “I made a playlist for dinner parties that’s aperitivo-themed and meant to put you in the mood for chitchatting and enjoying a meal.” — Ali LaBelle of

4. Pants: “I work from home, but wearing sweatpants all day feels grim. So, I’ve been living in these pants (similar: here and here).” — Maureen Heffernan, Cup of Jo partnerships director

5. Outerwear: “The outdoor uniform I can’t stop wearing is my cropped puffer vest over a turtleneck, with wide-leg jeans and Vejas. (Bonus: It’s reversible.)” — Jenny Rosenstrach of Dinner: A Love Story

6. Candle: “A friend gave me this wild herb candle, and I’ve been enjoying it in the evenings while we’re tidying up the kitchen. It smells earthy yet crisp, like an autumn walk in the woods.” — Kaitlyn Teer, Big Salad editor

7. Simple pleasure: “TJ’s frozen chocolate croissants that you leave out overnight to rise and then bake in the morning — heaven!” — Julia Turshen of

8. Denim: “I’ve been searching for jeans that have a wideeee leg, and this pair delivers. The fit is relaxed and comfy, and whenever I slip them on, I feel ready to meet friends for dinner but just as easily could run around with my kid at the park, which is the vibe I want from all my clothes these days.” — Jannelle Sanchez, Cup of Jo editor

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Is there anything more comforting than a plate of fresh pasta? Here, editor Kaitlyn Teer asks Missy Robbins — the chef behind the buzzy Brooklyn restaurants Lilia and Misipasta and the essential cookbook Pasta — to share a few pointers…

When did you first make pasta? My parents bought me a pasta maker when I was 12. In high school, I hosted my first dinner party and invited friends over for fettuccine Alfredo and Caesar salad.

What’s a common mistake home cooks make? Never put oil in your pasta water, but do make sure it’s well salted. Then, instead of draining pasta in a colander, I recommend pulling it out of the pot, so you can add some pasta water to the sauce (to help thicken and smooth it). I also like to undercook my pasta, so it can finish cooking in the sauce — which is what we calling ‘marrying’ the sauce and the pasta.

What tools matter, especially for beginners? Q.B. Cucina makes beautiful ravioli stamps and pasta cutters. And if you have a KitchenAid, the pasta roller attachment makes the process faster and easier.

What are some simple pasta shapes to try? If you’re cutting by hand, you can easily make maltagliati, which means ‘badly cut.’

Can you tell us the story behind your wildly famous angolotti? I wanted to make a dish with sheep’s milk cheese, honey, and a tomato sauce infused with saffron but my first attempts tasted like Chef Boyardee. Eventually I got the flavor combination just right, and it took on a life of its own. That agnolotti is never coming off the menu.

Thank you, Missy! Readers, what pasta tips or recipes would you add?

1. Julia Turshen’s most popular dish: an easy, ketchup-y chicken.

2. Yum, the cake that Roxane Gay serves for friends’ birthdays.

3. The Italian drinking glasses that Ali LaBelle swears by when entertaining.

4. An ice-cube tray that made a special appearance in the issue about Joanna’s Hinge profile.

In Joanna’s Hinge dating profile, she wrote the fun fact that a group of sharks is called a “shiver.” Erin then commented, “A group of owls is a parliament,” and Julia added, “A group of pandas is called an embarrassment.” Meanwhile, Maryn asked, “How has no one commented on ‘I can’t wait to introduce you to a special someone’?!?!? EEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!!!!”

In response to cookbook writer Julia Turshen's conversation about diet culture, Lauren wrote, “For so many women, myself included, it is a true journey to reach a point of feeling comfortable in our bodies. I’m so grateful for conversations like this one.“ Adds Kathleen, “On the list of women I can’t believe I got I to live alongside there is: Mary Oliver, Michelle Obama, and Julia Turshen.”

Said Erin on Roxane Gay’s 11 Favorite Things: “Whenever I need book recs, I look at Roxane Gay’s Goodreads account, an unsung gem of the Internet.” Added Marisa, “Came here to say this! It’s a freaking DELIGHT to happen across a review by Roxane.”

Finally, let’s all congratulate a reader named Kelly, who got married this month! “My wife and I used Roxane Gay’s Manifest(o) as our wedding reading,” she said. “We’ve loved Roxane Gay for ages, and it was delightful to see her and that particular piece of writing show up on Big Salad on our wedding weekend!”

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1. The Parenting Tip I Can't Stop Thinking About. Comedy writer shares six books on her nightstand and the men's sweater to wear this fall.

2. 20 Questions: AMA with Joanna. How to make friends, my #1 advice on divorce, and the last time I had sex (you asked!).

3. Peyton Dix Tells Us What Song to Play If You Want to Fall in Love. The podcast host also shares her first-date strategy and the coolest ink color.

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1. Four Fun Things. Including a cute dating moment and a secret bookcase.

2. Seven Lessons I Learned From Ina Garten’s Memoir. Her book made me realize something...

3. The Best Beauty Product I’ve Tried All Year. “Darling,” my friend Gemma texted me one morning. “You need to buy this...”

4. The Big Color This Fall. We are wearing it head to toe.

5. A Week of Outfits: Maura Cheeks. The bookstore owner shares her work outfits and $60 wedding ring.

6. 7 Pick-Me-Ups. Toby and I were walking home from the grocery store, when...

(Opening photo by kkgas / Stocksy. Wedding photo by Adriana Maya Photography. Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like and use ourselves. Thank you so much.)

Thank you for reading! Have a great Halloween. xoxoxoxo

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Hi! How’s your week going? I came down with a cold and have never appreciated chicken soup more — it really does help.

Speaking of recipes, we’re thrilled to feature , the home cook behind four cookbooks and the newsletter . She lives with her spouse, Grace, and their pets in the Hudson Valley. “My dog and I always walk the same trail,” she says. “People might think that’s boring, but I like seeing the leaves turn a slightly different color. It doesn’t take much to make me happy.”

Julia’s latest cookbook, What Goes With What, is her most personal yet. Not only did she photograph all 100 recipes, but her handwriting is all over it — from the front cover to her easy recipe charts. “My high school and college notebooks were filled with charts,” she says. “It’s how I’ve always organized my thoughts.” The book also features personal essays, including a beautifully honest conversation with her mom about diet culture and body image.

Here, Julia shares 12 favorite things, including her adorable pets and the best gift she ever received…

1. Restaurant: Buvette in Manhattan is open all day, but I like to go for breakfast. They have a waffle sandwich with egg, bacon, Gruyère, and maple syrup — it’s sweet and savory, crispy and soft, all the things.

2. Wedding: Grace and I had a tiny wedding — 10 people — and we ate dinner at Buvette. At the end of the meal, they brought out a huge ramekin of chocolate mousse (the recipe is in the Buvette cookbook, which I worked on with chef Jody Williams). My 95-year-old grandmother loves chocolate, and when they set it down in front of her, she looked like a little kid.

3. Podcast: Vibe Check is hosted by three friends – Sam Sanders, Saeed Jones, and Zach Stafford — who have smart takes on pop culture and wonderful chemistry. At the end of each episode, they also share something that’s keeping their vibes right; Saeed Jones almost always reads a poem.

4. Snapshot: There’s a childhood photo that I love — I’m not sure how old I was, but I was helping my dad paint a shed. When I look at little queer me and her tool belt, I just think, I’ve been myself the whole time.

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Hello! The other night, I was at dinner with writer , eating cheesy cavatelli pasta and drinking Coke with cool ice cubes:

Erika and I were chatting about our newsletters, just for fun, and brainstorming story ideas. “I want to write about the denim skirt you wear all the time,” she told me. “And you should post your Hinge profile, along with the caption for your readers: ‘Roast me.’” I burst out laughing — that sounded like my worst nightmare — but the more I thought about it, the more fun it sounded to share my profile, and hear about yours. After all, I LOVE seeing my friends’ profiles and thinking about how strangers might envision them.

So! My loves, deep breath, here goes…

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Hello! How is your week going? We are thrilled to feature one of our favorite writers, . She’s been a major inspiration to us — and maybe you? — for so long. She’s the author of many books, including her fantastic memoir, Hunger; and she writes a smart, funny newsletter called The Audacity.

But besides being a brilliant, incisive thinker, Roxane is also just fun. Her biggest hobby, for example, is cake decorating. “The cookbook Icing on the Cake has a recipe for a milk and cookies cake. It’s in the children’s chapter, which cracks me up, because I’m like, No, I'm totally an adult, but absolutely gonna make this cake. I made it for my friend Jackie Woodson’s birthday, and she still talks about it.”

Plus, there’s her social media feed. Five recent gems:

• “The number of times I wish my dog had a cellphone so I can text him something is…. a lot.”

• “New niece just dropped.”

• “Michelle Obama just casually showing up and reminding us that she is still one of the single best speakers in the country.”

• “This commercial for a Hallmark movie began ‘a family bed and breakfast under water.’ Say less! I am locked in!”

• “I am so tired of people telling me I am intimidating. I am not. I have stuffed animals. I make up songs about my dog. I decorate cakes. I am super quiet. You just see a tall, large Black woman and get scared. Deal with that.”

So! Without further ado, here Roxane shares 11 great things, including three book recommendations and the one thing she always brings on a plane…

1. Manifesto: My wife, Debbie, and I collaborated on a manifesto about love. I thought a lot about what actually makes our relationship work. What fuels the engine of our life together? Our 10 rules include ‘Delight in your partner’ and ‘When you argue, fight fair.’ I learned with Debbie how to let myself be loved, and how to love well in return.

2. Daily ritual: In L.A., my morning ritual is getting coffee at Starbucks with our dog, Maximus Torretto Blueberry Millman Gay (five names for a nine-pound dog!). An interviewer once gave me a hard time about admitting I go to such a basic coffee shop. But yes, me and hundreds of millions of people around the world! Also, they give Max a pup cup, and he loves it.

3. Recipe: My go-to dish is Melissa Clark’s chicken Milanese. The recipe suggests serving it with a tomato and mozzarella salad, but I like to zhuzh that up by adding cucumbers, soft herbs, fresh croutons, and my own vinaigrette.

4. Entertaining: We always serve wine from Brown Estate. It’s a Black-owned winery in Napa, and they make my favorite wines. I’m not a big drinker, but they have a fun red called Chaos Theory that is really worth a whirl.

5. Travel destination: It was my lifelong dream to visit Paris, and I went with Debbie for the first time several years ago. It absolutely met all of my expectations — and it’s not like we did anything earth shattering! We saw a lot of incredible art, and the café culture is lovely, no one is ever rushing you. It is just so delightful.

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Hi! How’s your day going? Earlier this week, wrote about the denim skirt I’ve worn and loved for years. And yesterday, the boys and I went to a Rosh Hashanah dinner at our friends’ house on the North Fork. (Shana tova to those who celebrate!)

I’m also thrilled to say that, for this week’s issue, our editor Kaitlyn Teer interviewed creative director , who writes . Her newsletter has been one of my must-reads since I first discovered it. I devour it every week, from start to finish. So many goodies, like fall things she’s excited about, Parent Trap style, and how to act like you live in a hotel.

Here, Ali shares 9 surprises and delights, plus a tour of her California apartment…

1. Creative ritual: Once a month, I make a mood board the old-fashioned way. I choose a theme — like horse girls or drinks — and then print out photos I’ve taken or Instagram images I’ve saved. Lastly, I use white push-pins to physically arrange them.

2. Hair: I go through a quarter can of Oribe dry texturizing spray every month. I have a bob haircut and want the texture to feel crunchy, almost dirty. One time, my best friend got into my car, and she was like, god, that smell, that spray, you just wear so much of it!

3. Clothes: I’m very into stripes, both in fashion and home. I recently stumbled upon the brand Monty, which makes striped bags in different shapes and sizes. And I like wearing stripes-on-stripes (like dressing in monochrome, but with pattern instead of color). This J.Crew rugby shirt would be so cool paired with a trouser in a skinner stripe.

4. Beauty: A few years ago, a friend gave me Santa Maria Novella’s rose water face mist, and now I need it within arm’s reach at all times. Spritzing it feels like walking through a rose cloud. I’ve also worn Dior Lip Glow in shade 001 — a classic pink — every day for like 10 years.

5. Restaurant: Antico Nuovo serves the best food in L.A. The interior is beautiful and moody, and the dishes are made with simple Italian ingredients. They have a focaccia with ricotta and pistachio pesto. I drool just thinking about it.

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Hi! How’s your week going? Tonight I’m hosting a games night and serving Detroit-style pizza, and then I’m excited to lay low for the rest of the rainy weekend.

We’re also thrilled to share two Big Salad hats and a giant tote bag. We hope you like them. Here’s the shop, if you’d like to see more.

Today’s issue features my friend Gisela Gueiros, an art educator who’s one of the most intellectually curious people I’ve ever met. She’s always throwing out fun facts and recommending gallery exhibits and showing you her cool shell ring.

Growing up in Brazil, Gisela did her first research project at age 10, where she presented on a painting in school. “I introduced Modigliani’s ‘Little Girl in Blue’ to the class, and it’s like I was born that day. Researching art is still what I most love to do.”

Nowadays Gisela lives in Brooklyn with her husband and kids. “I feel at home in both New York and São Paulo, and like a foreigner in both places,” she told us. “My sister-in-law, who has lived all over the world, says, ‘Bloom where you're planted.’”

As for social differences, she says her Brazilian friends make themselves right at home. “We hosted Christmas last year, and all the Americans left after dessert — ‘Okay, bye!’ But the Brazilians stayed until midnight; one was washing the dishes and another was doing yoga and a third was taking a nap.”

Parties also go much later with her Brazilian friends, she says. “A couple years ago, I planned a karaoke birthday party for 10:30pm on a weekday. My Brazilian friends were like, ‘WOO HOO.’ But I didn’t even bother inviting my American friends. I didn’t want to get 12 replies saying ‘no.’”

Here, Gisela shares 12 favorite things, plus a cool way to hang art at home…

1. Tip for parenting twins: I try not to refer to them as ‘the twins.’ Also, when giving gifts — especially when they were younger — I buy two of the same thing, since otherwise they have to share EVERYTHING. They’re 14 now, and the cool thing about parenting teenagers is that you really see their personalities and points of view emerging. I love asking them what they think.

2. Beauty: I swear by the Milk lip and cheek stick. It gives me such a healthy look. And it’s so easy to apply, you don’t even need a mirror. When I walk out the door, I grab my credit card, keys, and Milk stick.

3. Glassware: My best friend liked my drinking glasses so much, she asked me to bring a set back to Brazil. They’re surprisingly affordable, and the color is so pretty.

4. Table linens: I went down an Etsy rabbit hole searching for vintage cross-stitched napkins. I spent hours, but I’ve finally created a full set.

5. Perk of being multilingual: I do my therapy sessions on the phone while walking, but I speak in Portuguese, so if I pass someone in the neighborhood, they don’t know what I’m saying. I also text sneaky celeb photos to my therapist, like, ‘AHHHH, I just passed the guy from Succession,’ and he's like, ‘Okay, can we go back to your mother and your childhood?’

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Hi! How is your September going? We had fun celebrating Big Salad’s first birthday and published a few exciting issues, including:

• the best thing a guy said to me on a date, plus our favorite issues from our first year, including home tours and a bookstore proposal

• the parenting tip from Bess Kalb that I can’t stop thinking about

• a giveaway of my 13 favorite things, including Sally Rooney’s new novel, the perfect shoes, and vegetable candles

Coming up this Friday, we’re chatting with my friend Gisela Gueiros about parenting twins and the best way to hang art at home. It’s going to be good!!!

We asked the Big Salad team and some friends about what they’ve enjoyed recently (and please share your recs in the comments)…

1. “When working from home, I couldn’t bear the jackhammering of a construction project across the street. So, I ordered the widely beloved loop earplugs, and they’ve saved my sanity.” — Joanna Goddard, Big Salad founder

2. “Also, this pine diffuser makes our apartment smell so good (alt caption: tell me you have teenage boys without telling me).” — Joanna

3. “Last week, I tried this butternut squash orzo salad, and HOLY MOSES is it good. It’s crunchy, tangy and sweet and full of nutrient-packed ingredients like kale and pumpkin seeds. Plus, with leftovers, you have lunch for the rest of the week. Pro tip: double the dressing.” — Jannelle Sanchez, Cup of Jo editor

4. “I like layering a jewel tone between earth tones — it reminds me of the flash of red or gold you see when a bird takes flight. This Jo Gordon hat keeps me warm as the days get colder, and my Mimi Berry bag is bright and cheerful.” — Erica Kim, professor

5. “Chelsea Bieker’s latest novel gripped me with its unforgettable opening: ‘The world is not made for mothers. Yet mothers made the world. The world is not made for children. Yet children are the future.’ And her depictions of early parenthood — like the gauntlet of bringing a toddler to the post office — ring so true.” — Kaitlyn Teer, Big Salad editor

6. “I am searching for a runner for my front hall, and I have 10 bookmarked on Kilim.com — I forgot what an amazing source it is for all kinds of rugs, from vintage to contemporary. The only reason I haven’t yet ordered one is that I love all the options too much.” — Jenny Rosenstrach, cookbook writer

7. “Rachel Antonoff’s clothes have a sense of humor. They’re fantasy-fulfillment garments that actually work in everyday life, especially if you are a children’s book author and comedy writer whose job is to delight small children while feeling cool.” — Bess Kalb of

8. “I bought this joke book for my toddler, and she loves reciting them over dinner. During circle time at school, she recently told one to her class:  Why does Humpty Dumpty love autumn? He had a great fall!” — Maureen Heffernan, Cup of Jo partnerships director

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1. A tour of Anne Helen Petersen’s book-filled cabin, from our anniversary recap.

2. This cotton sweater, which Bess Kalb always steals from her husband.

3. The perfect loafers from our giveaway of my favorite things.

What’s the Halloween scene where you live? We asked about what’s changed since her move from the suburbs to a NYC high rise. “If you want to be a trick-or-treat apartment, you sign up in the building’s lobby,” she told us. “Then the kids in the building know which doorbells to ring as they go from floor to floor. The block we lived on when we were in the suburbs was famously fantastic for trick-or-treating. Kids came from all over to walk up and down our street — that was really fun, even when our kids were in college. Empty nesting has nothing to do with celebrating Halloween!” Here, our Big Salad team shares what candy we’re most looking forward to…

1. “I’m stocking up on Halloween Reese’s, like ghosts, witches, bats, you name it. The chocolate-peanut-butter combo is better without the ridges.” — Joanna

2. “Hershey's cookies 'n' creme bars. The minis taste better than the full-size ones, and I eat them by the handful.” — Jannelle

3. “Milky Way Midnight — I love that it’s dark chocolate, unlike most candy bars. I don't give them out to trick-or-treaters, but if I see the small ones I always buy them for myself.” — Jenny

What treats do you give out on Halloween? And what do you save for yourself?

After our interview with writer Bess Kalb, Sarah commented: “I want to wholeheartedly recommend her memoir, Nobody Will Tell You This But Me. I laughed, I cried, it lingered. It seems like a book this community would enjoy.”

On my post about the best thing a guy said to me on a date, Emily replied: “When I first met my husband, I wasn’t sure I wanted to date him (he was ‘too nice’), but then I read something on Cup of Jo about marrying the person you want to watch TV with — and it was like a lightbulb went off. I was like, that’s the dude I definitely want to watch TV with! We’ve now been married for seven years and have two kids.”

Finally, we received an astounding 3200+ comments on our giveaway of 13 favorite things. Said Lauren: “May the odds be ever in all of our favors (because I'm rooting for you, fellow Big Salad readers, as much as I’m rooting for me).“ Added Gabrielle, “Call us ‘The Croutons!’”

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1. How Dreamy Is Simone Kitchens’s Santa Fe Wedding? Including her everyday uniform and the lamp that works in every home.

2. Four Ways I’ve Learned to Deepen Friendships, although the last one might be controversial.

3. Stella Blackmon Knows the Best Snack to Serve at Parties, plus the shoes she swears by for trips.

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1. Very Low-Key Fall Checklist. Finding the best chocolate chip cookies, for one.

2. What Have CoJ Readers Taught You? My list is long…

3. My #1 Dating Rule and what I realized when I started dating after divorce.

4. 5 Home Decor Ideas I Love, including the (surprising) big color for fall.

5. Four Fun Things, like the #1 question to ask men in your life.

6. Morning Cookies for the Backpack = a way to make weekday mornings easier.

(Opening photo by Laura Austin/Stocksy. Note: If you buy something through our links, we may earn an affiliate commission or have a sponsored relationship with the brand, at no cost to you. We recommend only products we genuinely like and use ourselves. Thank you so much.)

Thank you so much for reading Big Salad. We love having you here.

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Hi, how is your week going?

Today’s issue is a fun one! During Big Salad’s first year, we featured 30+ women sharing their favorite things — from jeans to party snacks to polar plunging — and today I’m excited to share mine.

We are also doing a big anniversary giveaway, where one lucky reader will win all 13 things, featured below. The giveaway is open to paid subscribers, as a heartfelt thank you. This newsletter is reader-supported, and we are always grateful for everyone who reads, shares, and comments. If you’d like to enter the giveaway, leave a comment on this post. A winner will be randomly selected next Tuesday.

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(We also offer 50 comped annual subscriptions every month. If you’d like to get on the waitlist, please email newsletter@cupofjo.com and we’d be more than happy to add you.)

Without further ado, here are 13 surprises and delights…

1. Sweater: I’ve worn babaà sweaters, designed by my friend Marta in Spain, ever since discovering them in 2014. They’re heirloom quality, and I treasure the idea of passing them down to children and grandchildren. This navy one feels especially soft and cozy.

2. Candle: This tomato candle smells like a freshly picked tomato straight out of the garden.

3. Shoes: Jamie Haller loafers are a major splurge, but they’re best in class, so since this is a giveaway, I’m including them! Buttery soft and comfy, they take no time to break in; and the silhouette isn’t too chunky or slim, but just right. They pair beautifully with jeans, dresses, skirts, everything.

4. Lamp: Clare V. and Schoolhouse Electric just collaborated on a home collection, and I’m into this playful little lamp, which comes in green, red and cream.

5. Bedding: Brooklinen — the husband-and-wife-founded brand — is a long-time Cup of Jo supporter, and for a decade our family has slept comfortably on their sheets and blankets. I like all the colors and fabrics, but white sateen feels extra good when slipping into bed with freshly shaved legs and a gripping book.

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Hi loves!!!

We are so excited to celebrate Big Salad’s first birthday. Wild that it’s been a year since our first issue. “I’m happy and proud and amazed,” wrote a reader named Jeanne. “I'm anthropomorphizing Big Salad as if it’s a kid who has suddenly become a tall preteen.”

Next week, we’re doing a fun live chat for paid subscribers on Thursday, September 19th. What would you like to talk about?! Feel free to leave requests/questions in the comments. Once, before a first date, a guy said, “I’m curious to see how your mouth moves when you talk.” If you, too, are curious about that, now is the time to find out lol.

We’re also planning a huge giveaway of my own favorite things, including buttery soft shoes and a rosy blush that makes you look like you just came in from a brisk walk — I think you’re going to love them! We’ll reveal them (and you can enter) in our anniversary issue, which will land in paid subscribers’ inboxes next Friday, September 20th.

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Most of all, we’re so happy to have this wonderful Big Salad community. “The newsletter feels intimate and comforting after a long week,” wrote a reader named Linh, and Christina added: “It’s like spending time with good friends.” We couldn’t agree more.

I’ve been especially grateful for the space to write about dating in my 40s. Since the essays are behind a paywall — and therefore my kids and neighbors won’t stumble upon them online — I can write more openly about my jittery first date, what it felt like to have sex for the first time since divorce, and my #1 rule for dating.

As always, readers leave such insightful comments. “Maybe it’s true that someone is only as attractive as their worst profile picture,” commented Abbey. “But it’s also true that if you look at their best picture, and multiply their attractiveness by 10, you will get an idea of how dreamy they’ll look if you happen to fall in love.” Sobbbb.

I also liked the reader question, “How would you describe your ideal partner in three words?” My three were kind, enthusiastic and funny (alternates: sexy, cook and mustachioed) — and I’m curious, what would yours be?

Another thing I wanted to share this week is a very sweet thing a guy said on a date. I like to move pretty slowly, physically, and he was aware of that. Then, on our third date, at my place around midnight, I asked him if he wanted to stay over. He hesitated, so I added that of course he didn’t have to — and his answer made me want to cheer. “Oh, I definitely want to stay,” he told me. “I just wanted to make sure you didn’t feel pressured because it’s late. I was looking for enthusiastic consent, or even one level more than that, like, change-your-life consent.” We both laughed and omg I felt so much hope for the world in that moment!

Thank you again for being here, and we’re looking forward to an epic next year. And a huge round of applause for Big Salad’s lead editor, Kaitlyn, who has brought her deep thought and talent to this newsletter.

Joanna

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This year, Big Salad published 30+ interviews featuring people like Caroline Chambers, Phoebe Robinson, and Catherine Newman revealing their top movies, jeans, recipes, career advice, books, life hacks, lipsticks, and pleasures.

Knowing your preferences isn’t always easy. Ashley C. Ford shared how hard it was, as an adult, to figure out what she actually liked: “For a long time, I thought it was a superpower to not have preferences. When you grow up in poverty, there’s nothing in your mind that says, Even though I can’t get these things, I’m still worthy of them.”

Ashley practiced listening to her body: “I had to sit still and ask myself, When I want something, how do I know? What does my body actually feel like?” The journey was challenging but worth it. “The fact that I can name my preferences now brings me so much joy,” she says. “You have never seen someone in their late 30s so excited to know which seat they want on a plane!”

“Finding things on the internet is a specialty of mine,” says Cleveland-based journalist Simone Kitchens, who tipped us off to these beautiful HAY jugs. As for home decor, “our Ohio home was built in the 1920s, and Noguchi lamps work for the house,” she told us. “But they work in every house. That’s the point.” She’s also pinpointed the best travel shoes and gentle TV shows.

Filmmaker (and Cup of Jo alum!) Stella Blackmon told us about traveling solo to Paris and finding her dream dress in a vintage shop run by gossip-y French friends. We also put together two magical Paris itineraries, as well as mini guides to Seattle, Chicago and Philadelphia.

Many people we interviewed shared life advice. “On my gravestone, I hope it says, ‘She was a helper, and she laughed,’” says historian Abbey Nova. And I often think about her approach to anxiety: “My therapist once said to me, ‘What if it’s easy?’ which has become a motto to remind myself to stop catastrophizing.”

Finally, in our comedy issue, author Samantha Irby urges us all to be unapologetic about the things we like, no matter how uncool or basic. If “some smarty-pants makes fun of the John Grisham novel poking out of my backpack,” Samantha says, she just looks them in the eye and say, “I like it! I like it a lot!” — which “swipes their legs out from under them every single time.”

On that note, one of our favorite issues featured readers sharing favorite things, including a party icebreaker, the nicest way to pick someone up at the airport, and a romantic TV show. We love you, and this year has been a joy.

During interviews, people will often surprise us, like when Anne Helen Petersen told us she lives full-time in a cabin on a rural island in Washington with her partner and two dogs. “There’s no real grocery store on the island, so our pantry is stocked with cans of beans and giant olive oils from Costco,” she said. Anne gave us a tour of her book-filled cabin, and it’s amazing (especially her bedroom).

The most dramatic of our tours, however, might have been Abbey Nova’s garden makeover — check out the before-and-after!

During our interview with Tembe Denton-Hurst, she told us that her fiancé surprised her by proposing at their favorite bookstore. Here’s the sweet story, and they’re getting married this month.

Finally, our beloved graphic designer Diana Moss showed us her tradition of taking a family selfie on the same beach every year. “It started with just my husband and me, then I was pregnant, then our son was there, then our daughter joined us,” she said. “It spans 12 years and chokes me up every time we take a new one.”

“There’s something deep about throwing yourself a party.” — Natasha Pickowicz

“Careers ebb and flow, and it’s never too late to take that terrifying leap into the thing that excites you.” — Hopie Stockman Hill

“I am so over being picky about my body. I have arms for hugging and legs for swimming.” — Catherine Newman

“As a small business owner, I’ve developed a fearless approach to reaching out to people. The worst that can happen is someone says no.” — Shannon Maldonado

“My grandmother told me, ‘If you try on a dress and don’t immediately want to parade out of the dressing room and show everybody, just take it off and forget about it.’ This advice isn’t just about a dress — don’t try to force something that doesn’t feel right.” — Bess Kalb

“No one thinks about you more than you think about yourself.” — Peyton Dix

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Here are a few of this year’s most-clicked recs…

1. A TV murder mystery that Anne Helen Petersen calls “weird and amazing”

2. The best cheap drinking glasses, so if someone breaks one, you can say, “Please. These are the cheapest glasses in the world.”

3. Joanna’s favorite lightweight pajamas

4. Potato chips for the perfect afternoon snack

5. The game-changing $12 can opener chef Natasha Pickowicz swears by

6. A funny book that made Catherine Newman say “wow — what a gift”

7. This terracotta pomegranate, which emits scent for a year

8. The comfy pants that Big Salad readers went absolutely bananas for

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1. 10 Things I Love About Parenting Preteens/Teens. They'll rub your feet and CHARGE ONLY $1 PER MINUTE!

2. 5 Home Decor Ideas I Love. Including the (surprising) big color for fall.

3. Very Low-Key Fall Checklist. Finding the best chocolate chip cookie in Brooklyn, for one.

4. What Have CoJ Readers Taught You? My list is long…

1. What 10 Friends Are Wearing This Fall (We Spotted a Trend)

2. Fun Things We Noticed in Paris (Plus, Two Magical Itineraries)

3. What It Felt Like to Have Sex for the First Time Post-Divorce

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Thank you again for being here.

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