Nighty-Night

Found ... or noticed this part of a bed on my icy way to grocery shopping (0C, more than cold enough for me).

I wonder how these fellas can stand the cold Oker...

I mean... there is cold (as in icky, grey days when the weather creeps under your jeans and no socks are warm enough) and cold (as in sunny, lovely days).

There is no rain, no snow, no sun, no nothing.
Even my avo (called Mango now by T) has no rain water!

This truly is a weather to hop into bed and pull the blanket(s) over your head!

Lion of the day.

I... We...

Haaa, doesn´t it look a lot like...

... November :-)

And if you ask me...

Let´s not bother this big ole man and jump straight to the end of January :-)

Oh, what an icky weather we do have.
No sun, no rain, no nothin`... (at least no snow, either, whew!).

Lion of the day.
Hope your festive season is brighter than ours (easy, I guess ;-)...)

Not sure if I wanna visit our Christmas Market (at night) after this deadly terror attack at a French Christmas market again....

On the other hand... Do I wanna be a slave of terrorism?
How about you?

Always There

This is the original pic, don´t ask...
It was Bro´s 5th Birthday, I guess - and he was not happy unless I was there.
He was always "on my hip".

Mind you!!

How could I forget???

When thinking back he always was "The Prince" and I was left behind.
But there are so many pics that show he looked up to me.

Later rather down, but in a lovingly way.
He was always there.

Well. 5 years after I was there that is ;-)

(Pumuckl was always with us, too)

And, what can I say.
His wife is taking him away from me. Yes, I said it.
Even Ingo saw it.

What can she have more than me?
She gave him two Babies... there is nothing more to give, why fight me. Why.

She wins.

I last saw him / them when I lost my ear, over two months ago.

It´s but 60 km, too :-(

Lion of the day.

Mix In The Cute

This is to be found at BraWoPark, as I guess at every Target.

One thing is for sure:
Here is a way to not only set a goal but also reach the target:

This is no ad, you don´t see from whom this detergent is produced.
But it´s cute, no?
No microplastics...

Bottle made 100% from used plastics.

I do suppose it´s not as strong as the cheaper ones which also do not care about the environment, but I cannot resist "green + cute".
No...

... if you don´t ;-)

Lion of the day @ a fence.

Chew It

This was my Uncle "Siggi" aka Siegfried.

Right after WWII he got that house - the cellar was never good, always water in there.
Us kids played there. We made boats.

I so (could) cry...
"Geramont" was likely expensive back then? We made our boats with this.

Chewing gum.
He said it´s "left-over" from his work at the factory (ohhhh, just think of this as, say, five-year-olds, to work at such a factory!!! Chewing gum!!)....

He died of cancer. Uncle Siggi - you tucked in kids others made, you were full of love for everyone and life kicked you like that...

When in times of deep trouble don´t you dig in old family-stuff, too?

I hardly really rememeber him.
But his sweet kindness.

His kids?
Well. After my Mum left they shortly got into contact (my cousins, right) - who´s fault ever, it never worked.
They´re kinda like... not me.

Even though I´m taking a time out right now - I´ve been working all my life.
As a kid, as teenager and as an adult.
Don´t jugde me.
My parents always took care I never ever take for granted what they did achieve (unlike said cousins).

Hmmm... those colourful balls of chewing gum - I still wonder where he got those?
I kinda bet he did not work at a chewing ball company, do you?

You Don´t See Me

Can you read graffiti? I can´t, anyone knows what this lille kobold is pointing at, please let me know.

I grew up watching Master Eder and his Pumuckl, it was always so funny, do you know these two?

"Pumuckl is a red-haired Kobold and descendant of the Klabautermänner. He is invisible to people around him except for the master carpenter Eder with whom Pumuckl lives. (...) Being a descendant of the Klabautermann people, who were sailors, Pumuckl loves everything that has to do with the ocean, especially sailboats. For reasons unknown, he gets lost in Bavaria, where no ships are to be found. He doesn't like neat and clean places, so he takes refuge in a carpenter's untidy workshop." (Wiki)

There were many, many adventures, loads of laughs, a series to look forward to.

The artist - for a rare change - is Drestwo Gsm Smr, the mural is found at Westbahnhof.

Taking part again in Sami´s COLOURFULWORLD Monday Murals.

Some (Negative) Thoughts On Work - A Trap

or... "Stop And Repeat".

When I grew up all that was most important was my parent´s family business.
At the table - be it lunch or dinner - it was never "how was it at kindy/school?" it was always about customers, trainees etc. Business.
When they had finished and IF there was still time they did ask us. Yes.

When I was gone studying they suddenly realised and when I came for visits... well. It was kinda too late.
Why share my adult life, I can handle that myself - I always did after all (yes, I was thankful for their "I´m-sorry-money").

And I just fell back into this trap yet again.
Ingo had to work for two the last six weeks since his co-worker was on holidays.
Instead of saying "no" to all those who came by and said, "can you quickly fix this or that"... he did.
He fell asleep by 7pm, never did any walks or such and I am faaaar at the end of interest.

Maybe this is also why I take a big time out - as many people advised me to do so anyways.
Which he cannot understand - or! - wishes he had the "courage" to do so as well.

I had had to do so many awful things (like taking terminal care of both my parents, his severe sickness etc) that he never had to experience, he has no idea.
This takes a lot of strengh, this can rip your heart apart. But I did it. And kept on working as usual. Always. In advance etc.

But now again.
It´s like being a kid again.

He is sick and tired, I (or anyone else) cannot do anything right.

And that I am sick and tired of.

No understanding for my ever swooshing ear.
For my fears of returning back to work.

I´d LOVE to turn back to work.
Just.
WHAT kind of work?
I´m a graded engineer (Dipl.-Ing. - maybe you know that signature? - which does not exist anymore thanks to Angela Merkel - oh, she did so much damage to this country...) Blablabla.
I cannot sell myself, I am shy, I get nervous, I cannot remember faces nor names if in plural - it´s a horror-story written in advance before it even happens.
And that ear so does not help - I sometimes do not understand - not cause I´m dumb... And people do not expect a hearing problem from a person my age.

My life is like a bad carousel (I DO know things could be way worse. But... It´s bad the way it is for me right now).

Guess I´m just writing my fuss out and no one is following anyways and this is good.

I was SO looking forward to fish fingers.
After three days of plain rice and plain water (sounds like nothing, huh, go for it) I had a thin slice of bread with salami and cheese and scrambled eggs on top for brunch.

I wasn´t even hungry for dinner.
So that "fight" over fishfingers...

Useless and sad.
In the end he put some on my plate - they were cold and likely icky when I saw.

I am sick and tired of work coming first when so often I had to take care of people´s lifes when they were about to end.

We have but ONE life, why give it to work that is not appreciated.

Why not say NO at work when it´s too much - if he got appreciation, more money, anything... nothing!

Hope no one reads along. If so I´d like to know: Have you been in this trap, too, and if so, on which side? What did you do?

I could happily "retire" - this is Germany - or could I?
If you have nothing you get taken care of (too, way too many take advantage of this).
Sadly I have something, soon...they take it away from you, so... I´d like to just run off.

Those are my negative thoughts on work.
Let´s face it.
I´m, "old", have "no valid reputation" - I´d like to hide in a cave and there is no such thing as in good and bad times, I´m by myself.

I know.
Things will eventually turn better.


But right now it crushes me and I think maybe I can tell a doc I am depressed and I would not even lie.
I am disappointed for sure.

And.. well. This is my blog.
When my life gets too overwhelming and I don´t wanna alarm the persons here (who do not read anything in English) this is my escape, so bare with me...

I´ll be OK.

Addendum! Ingo did fix the microwave I broke, my internet communication that broke by itself (how are the chances on one weekend). But he is not there for me.
It´s always only work, "never" the heart.