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Revised Headlines

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In which we ask our readers to revise this week's headlines, for truth.
When your kid starts cracking nasty in school, that's on you, dad.

14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

But did he get the award?

14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write

News flash: Zebras have stripes.

News flash: Zebras have stripes.

#freekesha

15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/26)

15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write

Irony Breaker Now in Development

12 Real News Stories, Adjusted By Us For Insanity

I believe the word you're looking for is placebo.

I believe the word you're looking for is placebo.

It was a dick-heavy news cycle.

It was a dick-heavy news cycle.

"Banks on fear inspired by phrase 'President Palin' "

"Banks on fear inspired by phrase 'President Palin' "

A chicken in every pot, and bare feet in every kitchen.

A chicken in every pot, and bare feet in every kitchen.

Oh, Georgia.

15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/26)

15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write

Yeah, no.

15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/26)

15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write

And everyone faints from lack of surprise.

And everyone faints from lack of surprise.

Nice job.

14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write