Two Fists, One Heart (2008)

This is one of the most costly flops of the 21st century in Australian film making. Apparently the producer and director could not see that the film has a terrible title which makes it sound like a kung fu movie, nor the fact that the storyline and depiction of characters was tedious and ugly. Costing $9m in Australian dollars might not sound expensive, but given it would have to gross $30m to see that money returned, well, someone ought to be in jail. The film never had any chance of being a success and now sadly only exists as a lame TV gig and a DVD that will never rent. TWO FISTS ONE HEART apparently is from some obscure book about a cranky man forcing his wincing son to be a boxer. For god's sake. The son moans about it all and goes reluctantly thru training until the big Rocky-like match ion the last reel. By then we have seen suburban behaviour that includes street vomiting, whiny girlfriends and nightclub boor drivel. The poster did not even have a logo, but some pen scrawl that if you squinted, read TWO FISTS ONE HEART. At one stage, apparently in some dramatic doorway petulance at home, Dad bellows 'You've got two fists but only one heart!", well, der, haven't we all. Another cliché moment was the kid's Mother moaning 'But he's your father!" in another stupendous statement of obviousness. Hopelessly out of touch with the film going public this TV level nonsense barely ran 3 weeks and vanished back to the lab where all the reels were wiped clean and another emulsion slopped over it and a newer film was printed on the 35mm stock. Not even in the lamest DVD stores did it have a profile. Silly, misinformed and clumsily handled, it only served as a tax write off for the film distributor. Technically quite well made but could easily have been a TV pic costing 1/3 of what was wasted here.