Aw, come on, TOPÁZU, bah! TOKYO DECADENCE. That's its name. Ai, the Japanese prostitute who gets involved in the S&M scene. TOKYO DECADENCE.

The suggested retail price of this should be (on merit) about a quarter. Then you'd still be a dime and a nickel overcharged, but hey, somebody has to make a living...

S&M in Japan...

50 SHADES OF GREY it is not. Although you will feel yourself turning greyer and greyer if you sit there watching the damn thing which is about 10 hours long... or so it feels.

Very enticing subject matter filmed entirely wrong.

Very little bondage, just weird behavior. Lots and lots of weird behavior in copious streams of it. Ugly yuck. You'll wish it was over within the first few minutes.

Nudity, yes. Well-filmed and exciting, no.

This is the kind of thing that you really shouldn't be wasting money, time or effort on. It is a sad, bleak, morose, grim piece of junk. I've had it for a long time, never gotten around to watching it, saved it as something for a special time. Did some research recently and discovered that there are several versions of this, and scrambled to make sure I bought a worthy copy. Yes, I have the Arrow 112 minute with English subtitles version, so I do have a worthy copy... But of an entirely unworthy subject. This is junk, people. Plain junk. Badly-lit junk. It is standout only in one department, graphic use of drugs.

If you wanna watch something naughty, avoid this. You'd wilt like a daisy in the desert.

The only good performance is by Mistress Saki. She is very slight (like reed-thin) but plays the part of the dark-minded mistress with considerable gusto. And the way she goes on, she has to be the real thing in real-life. But overlook this paragraph, because it is heavily influenced by just how stupendously horrible the other lot are. For her to rise head and shoulders above the rest, isn't an accomplishment.

There are people in this Japanese pink film that have a very, very long way still to go on the evolutionary ladder before they could be remotely called human. Right now they have to call a snail 'Sir.' They nevertheless fill the screen with faces that shouldn't be seen. It makes for embarrassing viewing even when you are alone, it is that terribly atrociously bad.

I had this unreal feeling... I bought something THIS bad? THIS stupid? Maybe the wrong disk was slipped into the box? Big practical joke, somebody clowning around with video camera?

So boring and utterly inane as to make THE BROWN BUNNY seem like time well spent.

If anybody still buys this after having read my warning, let me just pin the tail of the donkey onto them.