Cake Wrecks

Here, There, and "Everywhere"

Jen — Tue, 01 Aug 2017 13:00:54 +0000

Square is so out. Hit it, Huey!

***

♫ Hip, hip, it's hip to not care! ♪

It's not too hard to figure out;
I see it every day.

And those who are the laziest
have gone the Wrecky way.

You see them in the bakery,

It don't look like a lot of fun.

But don't you try to right it,

'Cuz Cake Wrecks' time has come!

Don't tell me that they're crazy,

Don't tell me they're aware,

Cuz I can see what's going on:

It's hip to not care!

♫ Here, there, and "'cross entire front."

Hip, hip, so hip to not care! ♪

Kerensa, Doug B., Bree A., & Duana S., you might think I'm crazy, but I don't even care: I still like Huey Lewis and the News.

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Now Witness The Power of this Fully "Armed" Belly Cake

Jen — Mon, 31 Jul 2017 13:00:26 +0000

I've got a baaaad feeling about this...

Thanks to Lindsay for looking for wrecks in Alderaan places.

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Sunday Sweets: Ombre Treats

Sharyn — Sun, 30 Jul 2017 13:00:29 +0000

Merriam Webster defines ombre as: "having colors or tones that shade into each other." I define it as "soooo pretttttty."

Here, why don't I just show you?

(By Sugablossom Cakes)

That's ombre.

Isn't it gorgeous?

What I didn't realize until I started looking into ombre cakes was just how many ways ombre could be incorporated into a cake.

Sometimes literally.

(By AK Cake Design)

The outside deserves a look, too:

(By AK Cake Design)

There are a lot of ways to achieve ombre.

You can take a pristine white cake and "ombre it up" with some pretty piping:

(By Cake Coquette)

... or maybe a swirl of flowers -- like this one, inspired by a Steampunk-themed invitation:

(By Sugar Song Cakes)

(See, Steampunk doesn't have to be brown...)

It seems like bakers are able to make ombre cakes out of pretty much anything:

Pretty blue ruffles:

(By Cake Central member ChrisJack1)

...big, swoopy swirls:

(By Charm City Cakes)

...pink fondant tubes:

(By Fat Girl Cakes)

...teeny-tiny flowers:

(By Cake Fixation)

...and sunset slashes:

(By Eat Cake Be Merry)

Sometimes, the shading is subtle:

(By Olive arts)

Other ombre cakes are a little more extroverted:

(By Frosting)

You certainly couldn't accuse this cake of being shy:

(By Maggie Austin Cake)

... no matter how much it blushes.

One thing's for sure; ombre cakes will never fade quietly into the background.

And thank goodness for that!

Have a wonderful Sunday!

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This'll Cure That Freaky Fetish

Jen — Fri, 28 Jul 2017 13:00:29 +0000

Well, not THAT one - what do you take me for, a miracle-worker? Sheesh.

No, I mean the one with the footsies. And don't try to deny it, 'cuz I know you're out there: loitering around the pedicure station, being overly helpful at the Payless, getting WAY too excited about peep-toe pumps coming back into style - yeah, you know who you are. Well, my foot-fondling friends, it's time for a little sole searching.

And for the rest of you: put down that coffee and prepare to skip breakfast (or possibly revisit it, depending on your constitution).

This is a groom's cake, which begs the question: is the groom really that enamored with his own toe hair? And I know there's no good way to show severed appendages, but those ankle stumps are freaking me out juuust a little.

Side note: The words "cake" and "ankle stumps" should never, EVER, be used to describe the same thing.

Hahahahahaha! See, it's like a dead person's feet! With a toe tag! To remind you of your own mortality! Isn't that hysterical? Hahhahahaha!

Right. Two things:
1) What's up with the blue drapey bits?
2) Just for fun, try to imagine the position you'd have to be in to get your feet at that angle.

There is only one word to describe this next one:

AAAAUUUUGGGHHH!!!

Yep, that sums it up nicely, I think.

Then there's the delectable world of toe fungus, which I think you'll all agree is not only a great ice-breaker at parties ("Hey, wanna see something cool?"), but also really hits the spot come dessert time.

That Dr. Pachman, he's such a fun guy, don't you think? Eh? Fungi? Eh? Booyah!

I'm not sure why he would order a "cake" made from upholstery foam, though: that somehow detracts from the otherwise yummy-looking toenails.

Side note: Dr. Pachman is quite possibly the coolest doctor name ever. Right up there with Dr. Spaceman.

Ok, guys, this is it: time for the most disgusting, fungus-riddled foot cake mine eyes have seen. Proceed with extreme caution and strong intestinal fortitude.

Urp.

What's more horrifying: the green bugs crawling under the toenails...[pausing to swallow repeatedly]...or the fact that this is for a girl? Poor Teresa: I don't think the pretty pink icing nearly makes up for that yellowish... gelatinous...layer....

[sound of running feet]

UPDATE: Whew! Sorry, folks: my constitution just gave out, if you catch my drift. On the plus side, I just may lose those 5 pounds this week!

Hey, Sara S., Julie R., Christina B., and Jessica M., it's time to cut loose. Foot loose.

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HIT IT WITH THE ROCK

john (the hubby of Jen) — Thu, 27 Jul 2017 13:00:35 +0000

Thanks to Steven C., Elizabeth E., and Jennifer S. for remembering that it could always be worse.

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And from my other blog, Epbot: