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Extreme Piano Playing is part of the growing trend of "extreme" sports which emerged in the late 20th century. It originated as a misguided attempt to make classical music more relevant to today's attention-deficient youth, by combining piano recitals with wanton violence. The sport, known to its enthusiasts as EPP, takes principles from the international standard rules of piano playing and mixes them with something more sinister. Derek "Megaton" Worthington is widely regarded as the most extreme player ever. He killed his mother, himself and 71 others during his last concert doing nothing put playing the piano in a frantic manner. A distant second is world champion Klaus "Shrapnel" Smith who, while at times can perform murderous piano sonatas, can also play with a notable lack of destruction where the "extreme" element of his playing feels somewhat forced and half-hearted. Klaus is sadly still alive, has two children and is going bald. (Full article...)

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... that the classic fairy tale Hansel and Gretel was blamed for hundreds of accidental deaths involving elderly women being pushed into ovens by children? (Pictured)

... that St. Peter's Basilica is a large reptilian creature with breath of fire and a gaze that can turn people into stone?
... that Former President Bush prefers his Tuskegee airmen with a side of risotto and mushrooms?
... that you can always pay your credit card bills using your credit card?
... that a bomb shelter is the safest place to hide explosives?
... that more people have been inside Paris Hilton, than in the Hilton in Paris?
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On this day [edit]

February 2: Upside Down Day

1461 - The War of the Roses: no one outside of some damp island has any idea what happened during the war, I don't know, poppies started eating people?
1652 - New Amsterdam (later renamed to New York City) is settled, declared the "Greatest City in the World" by people with low expectations.
1848 - The Mexican-American War ends in the treaty of "Gimme Half Your Shit", in which America gladly welcomes all the land Mexico was kind enough to lend.
1850 - Brigham Young slaughters hundreds of Native Americans, is cursed in the afterlife to live in the, uhh, terrestrial kingdom? Seriously?
1922 - James Joyce writes random scribbles and publishes it, scholars are still confounded after decades of study.
1943 - The Battle of Stalingrad ends after all the Nazis just froze to death, General Winter, just don't think about it, O Beautiful for Spacious Skies...

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