Bonuses
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Bonus Watch ’17: Frankfurt Is Great If You’re The Kind Of Person Who’s Into Money
Pro: No one willingly lives in Frankfurt so you can demand a raise. Con: No one willingly lives in Frankfurt.
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Bonus Watch ’17: Damn Europe, You Crazy Edition
Morgan Stanley doesn’t get France and the strongest case yet for just letting Brexit happen.
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If bank CEOs can’t take a bonus despite persistent losses, what the fuck are we even doing here?
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It’s starting to dawn on Deutsche Bank that senior executives are pretty keen on – like – getting bonuses or whatever.
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Allowing Marissa to “claw back” her own bonus is the kind of PR clusterfuck that makes Wells Fargo giggle.
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Wells Fargo Withholds Executive Bonuses Just Because
Sure, the top eight executives will together forfeit $32 million, but don’t go assuming they did anything wrong.
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Bonus Watch ’17: Deutsche Bank Bonus Pool More Like A Sad, Shallow Shower Puddle Of Bonuses
Deutsche Bank’s mismanagement of this year’s bonus season is like a new form of performance art.
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About 100 M&A bankers at 200 West ain’t getting shit.
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Bonus Watch ’17: Wells Fargo Top Brass Reaps The Whirlwind
Bonus checks at The Stagecoach are just notes that read “Ya Stumpf’d!”
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Deutsche Bank Employees Now Subscribing To A “F@ck This Sh!t” Notion Of Esprit De Corps
DB traders in London are responding to the sturm und drang of recent days by just rolling in they want.
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Morale Inside Deutsche Bank Is Pretty Scheiße Right Now
Deutsche Bankers are feeling die Götterdämmerung.
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Trump’s Election Was A Buzzer-Beater For Goldman Execs’ Stock Options
Good things come to those who wait.
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Your Bonus Had To Die So That James Gorman’s Could Live
Congrats to Jim Gorman on a strong quarter…wait, really?
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Bonus Watch ’17: Deutsche Bank TOTALLY Dealt Away 2016 Bonuses In DoJ Deal
Bad news for Deutsche bankers…but we look great here!
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Bonus Watch/Layoffs Watch ’17: Morgan Stanley Culling MDs Like It’s Name Is Goldman Sachs
It’s bad news/worse news over at the House of Gorman.
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Bonus Watch ’17: Deutsche Bankers Fearing That Their Bonuses Were Dealt Away In DoJ Deal
Rumors has it things are still shaky at Deutsche.
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Bonus Watch ’17: Each Citi Junior Banker Is A Unique And Wondrous Snowflake
Cool bro Mikey Corbat is embracing that millennial management vibe.
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Bonus Watch ’17: Morgan Stanley Equities Traders Getting Less Equity
Off to a great start, 2017!
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Despite Their Best Efforts, Deutsche Bank Employees Can’t Seem To Get A Pay Cut
What’s the word for the opposite of schadenfreude?
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Wall Street bonuses set to sink again; trading profits are mysteriously on the mend; Ted Nugent went TMI on his anatomy; and much more.
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What Sort Of Non-Cash Bonuses Should Deutsche Bank Pay Its Employees This Year?
Money is tight, so the bank’s gotta think outside the box.
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Bonus Watch ’16: Brexit To Crush Untold Number Of Hopes And Dreams
You can kiss those $30,000 mint condition Star Wars action figures good-bye.
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Lloyd Blankfein, Whose Favorite Leisure Activity Is To ‘Lie On The Couch,’ Tells Interns To Be More Interesting 
Robinhood Is Just A Few More Snap IPOs From Eradicating Inequality 
Goldman Is Wondering If Anyone Else Is Getting Weird Vibes From This Trump Guy 
Next Time A Drunk Client Promises You A Huge Bonus At A Bar, Get It In Writing On A Cocktail Napkin 
New Study Reveals That Business Schools Are Failing To Pull MBA Heads Out Of MBA Asses 
Jeff Bezos Is Sadistically Curious If He Can Personally Make Blue Apron Stock Worth Negative Dollars 
Goldman Sachs Became Obsessed With Millennials And Now David Solomon Is An EDM DJ 
Blackstone Associate Regrets Sending Threatening Emails After Being Called Out For Sending Threatening Emails 