Beer and fittle at The Why Not? Why Not?

I want to run into the kitchen and beg the cook to tell me her secret. Maybe she’s a Black Country witch.

Recipe: Black Country stout and chocolate hobnob ice-cream

I created this ice-cream for my lovely stepdad who is the best father a wench could ask for.

I don’t think I’ve seen so many animals in one place since that time at Dudley Zoo when I got my arse stuck in the chairlift.

I was too busy fighting them off my Mo-Hi-To.

Wench #2 decided he was a definite serial killer which was a little disconcerting as he kept trying to hold my hand and I left with his phone number.

With my foamy moustache of stout head, I wrapped my lips around pork and ham. It was a beautiful moment.

I often wonder about that poor Black Country wench who’s annoyed that her freezer is still broken!

We am so awash with our precious Punjabi jewels, that even Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are casting an envious eye across the ocean.

We had arrived at the height of sophistication, drinking a £190 bottle of port and eating cubes of edam from our knees.

Well that’s if Elizabeth Bennett had a penchant for beer and scratchings, and managed to pull the drunkest person in the Black Country that is.