Let Why Lead

5 Ways an iPhone Can Boost Your Family’s Connectedness

by Erica Layne on August 4, 2014

I only gave it up last year.

My darling little flip phone.

I was so proud of how long I hung onto it. How capable I was of waiting in a line somewhere without pulling out a device.

I put it off because I knew I’d fall hard for the iPhone. And we all know once you make the jump, there’s no going back.

A year later, I admit I’ve used my phone while waiting in a line a time or two (or three or four…). But in addition to all the ways our devices distract us from what’s really in front of us (ie. people), I’ve noticed some little ways that having an iPhone is making my family life simpler and more connected. Surprising, huh?

IknowIknow that some of this applies to any type of smart phone. I blame my minor Apple elitism on the fact that my husband works for them. :)

1. The “Find My Friends” App.

If your spouse is not the easiest person to keep tabs on, this app is a lifesaver. (My husband likes his flexibility and freedom; I like plans and ETAs.) So if your husband is out with some of the kids on an outing that has turned longer than expected, instead of the three “where are you?” texts you would normally send, you can just check the app. He’s happy—you’re happy!

I think it’s comforting that my husband could find me easily if the car broke down somewhere or if I twisted my ankle on a run…or some other semi-emergency.

I also have mine set up so that it pings me when Ryan leaves the office, so I always know when he’s on his way home. And if he gets stuck in traffic, it’s easy to check his progress. (Btw, if our kids were older, this app would definitely be a condition of them using a family phone.)

2. Shared Photo Streams.

About a year ago, my husband started a family photo stream with his parents and grown siblings. We show off house projects and tease about my mother-in-law’s love of sun bathing. We got the first pictures of my brother-in-law’s proposal—and my in-laws first selfie. It is so. much. fun. And since it’s just family viewing the pictures (as opposed to Instagram or Facebook), we can really be ourselves.

3. Emojis.

They just make everything more fun. And funny. And (between spouses) flirtatious. :)

4. Airplay.

Thanks to airplay and our Apple TV, when we’re on a family vacation, it’s easy to take turns scrolling through everyone’s photo streams. Because – the only thing better than a day at a water park is watching photos of it that night. :)

Added bonus: When you’re watching awesome youtube videos like “there’s an alligator in my pool” or “how to draw a robot” with your kids, you can pop them right onto the TV for better viewing.

5. The slideshow feature on Apple TV.

I love love love that the photo stream on my phone plays slideshow-style when our TV is idle. The boys get so excited seeing what we’ve done lately appear on the TV, and I feel like it’s going to help them solidify their memories (which is a big deal to me!).

So what do you guys think? How many of these are you using? What do you have to add?

This post is in honor of my mom getting her first iPhone TODAY! Go Mom!

{ 3 comments }

Wholehearted Living: Moving Through Shame

by Erica Layne on July 30, 2014

I don’t know a woman out there who feels like she has it all together at home.

And because I don’t either, this makes it blessedly easy for me to lean in with empathy.

You’re down because it feels like your kids fight all the time? Mine do it too!

You feel like everyone’s house is cleaner than yours? So do I!

You wish your husband would put his midnight cereal bowl in the dishwasher (and you secretly think everyone else’s marriage is stronger than yours)? Been there, girl!

A few weeks ago we talked about how shame is that quiet feeling of “not enough.” Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not creative enough, not outgoing enough. Shame researcher Brené Brown calls it the warm wash of smallness and inadequacy (love that description!), and judging by your recent response, none of us are strangers to it.

Since we’ve talked about what shame is and when we’re feeling it, the next step is learning how to move through it. The answer is simple:

Tell your story to someone who has earned the right to hear it.

“Shame cannot stand to be spoken.” Brené Brown

The moment you put a voice to it, it begins to dissipate.

Where secrecy, silence, and judgment provide the perfect environment for shame to grow, shame cannot grow in an environment of empathy.

So you need to tell your story to someone who can lean in. Someone who isn’t afraid of drawing on their past pains in order to help you through yours. You need someone who won’t laugh it off, someone who won’t shrug and say, “It’s no big deal! I do that all the time!” and then change the subject.

Because it is a big deal. It feels like a big deal to you.

One of the biggest things we can do to practice moving through shame without dwelling on it is to figure out who we can turn to with our stories.

So I’d love to hear—Who are the people you count on to hear your stories and respond with empathy?

And as a (possibly more interesting) side question, are you more likely to turn to your husband or a female friend or family member when you need to talk shame through? (I don’t think my husband is hard wired for empathy, but he’s gettin there! :)

Our next wholehearted living topic? Empathy! Stay tuned!

—

Linked up with On Your Heart.

{ 11 comments }

What I’m Into – July Edition

by Erica Layne on July 28, 2014

Popping in to share what I’ve been into lately!

Reading

I’ve finished The Rosie Project, Eleanor & Park, and Looking for Alaska. I enjoyed them all, but I wish youth lit, in particular, didn’t have so much sexual overtone. What is up with that??

I also read Notes from a Blue Bike: The Art of Living Intentionally in a Chaotic World. I love Tsh at the Art of Simple, but I felt like this book needed a better editor to help tighten it up. Also, I thought her references to expats came across as a bit elitist, but maybe that’s just because I’ve never lived abroad with my crew. :)

I’ve been thinking nonstop about this article claiming biological proof that home is more stressful than the office. Working parents know they can switch projects or try to get on a different team…or even look for something new. But those aren’t exactly strategies we can apply to home life. We can’t trade away our stressors at home. That’s why they say many working women feel relief when they go to work. As a SAHM (well, technically a WAHM), I found this comforting. My frequent cortisol spikes are normal!

Inspired by

My cute friend’s post about her own shame triggers, building off my post earlier this month. Check it out here, and see if you share any of her triggers!

Colbie Caillat’s Try video. Have you seen it? A great message about focusing on who you want to be. (Authenticity!)

Pinning

The sweetest mother/daughter photo.

The happiest gallery wall.

Looking forward to

Seeing The Giver!

Getting back into exercise??

A strong finish to the “greatest summer ever!” #18summers

I’ll see you back here soon to talk about more wholehearted living—how to move through shame! (I don’t know that anyone has ever put shame next to an upbeat exclamation mark before, but that just happened!)

Linked up with Leigh Kramer.

{ 8 comments }

4:55 p.m.

July 22, 2014

Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday at 4:55 p.m., the alarm on my phone goes off (playing Frozen’s “Let It Go,” because of course), and I gather three grinning kiddos in for a family hug. It’s a time of day when we can all benefit from a quick reset—a reminder of how lucky we are to have […]

15 comments Keep Reading →

The Magic of Motherhood

July 16, 2014

I saw the telltale glow under his covers, so in the soft light of morning, I pulled up his quilt and climbed in. He shined the flashlight into my face as I asked him how he slept. His brother dozed peacefully in the bed next to us, and I could hear the baby stirring in her […]

10 comments Keep Reading →

My Favorite Nonprofit | Christmas in July with Balsam Hill

July 15, 2014

We had just finished volunteering at a school for the day and had driven several miles away when our rickety bus broke down. We all piled out and stood around in groups, waiting to see how bad the damage was. Within minutes, I felt little arms encircle my waist from both sides. There were no […]

4 comments Keep Reading →

One Family’s Mantra & How it Has Shaped Them

July 9, 2014

A sweet & supportive friend of mine introduced me to Tiffany because she knew I’d like her family mantra. No surprise—she was right! Read this, and be prepared to want to do hard things! Our family motto is “I can do hard things.” I first heard it back in 2007. It was just a blip […]