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<title>Existential Comics</title>
<link>https://existentialcomics.com</link>
<description>Existential Comics: A comic about the inevitable anguish of living a brief life in an absurd world. Also jokes.</description>
<language>en</language>
    <item>
        <title>The Philosophy Store</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/581</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/581</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ThePhilosophyStore.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Welcome to the philosophy store, i&#39;m Wittgenstein, where we stock all your philosophy needs. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;But i&#39;m interested in it.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, i&#39;m looking for some metaphysics.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Let me show you some nice philosophy of science, which shows that metaphysics...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Metaphysics? No, metaphysics is outdated, you don&#39;t want that.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I want metaphysics!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Whoa whoa, Wittgenstein, cool down. Don&#39;t you remember, the customer is always right?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But Kant,  he&#39;s being an idiot!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Alright, get out! Store policy.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I am always wrong.&#34;

" title="&#34;Can I speak with the manager?&#34;
&#34;Yes, this is Bertrand Russell.&#34;
&#34;As a member of the set of all sets that do not contain themselves, and I demand...&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 16 Dec 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Zizek Gets a Business Loan</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/580</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/580</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ZizekGetsaBusinessLoan.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Welcome Mr Zizek, i am Juan Amiguet, i understand you are looking for a business loan? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, this is right.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;And what sort of business are you looking to start?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Communist revolution.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;i see, and you are looking for $75 million in capital?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;That&#39;s right.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, my plan is to sieze the means of production and run the economy for the good of the people.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;And how long before you think you will start making a profit on this “sieze the means of production”?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;We intend to abolish profit entirely.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;i see...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Abolish profit, very good. Okay, it looks like you qualify.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;And do you have a business plan?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Look, it doesn&#39;t really matter, if you don&#39;t repay the loan the government will just bail us out.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Will that be cash or check?&#34;

" title="Yes, some bankers are quite clever in their own way, but being willing to collapse the economy so you can buy a summer house is in fact very stupid.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 09 Dec 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Empiricism vs Rationalism: the Final Fight</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/579</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/579</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/EmpiricismvsRationalismtheFinalFight.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;I, John Locke, claim that all knowledge comes from empiricism, from observation! In order to prove it i have watched Kung Fu movies for the last five years, thus becoming a master of Kung Fu! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;I, Baruch Spinoza, claim all knowledge comes from rationalism, from logical thought! To prove it i have spent the last five years in solitude, creating the perfect martial art from my own reason alone!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Let the battle begin!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Damn....this is hard... i can&#39;t breath...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Why are we so bad at this?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You have to practice, you idiots!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Who is that?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;William James...he is one of the new age “pragmatists”.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Oww!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You don&#39;t have to be so mean about it!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You have to learn what works in the real world among a community of fighters!&#34;

" title="Pragmatists are well known for their ability to bully nerds, that&#39;s just a matter of historical record.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 02 Dec 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Philosophy of Fire</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/578</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/578</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ThePhilosophyofFire.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Heraclitus, everything is fire! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;That&#39;s right, i&#39;m glad someone has been listening to my teachings.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No, i mean everything is literally going on fire, right now!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes exactly! Things aren&#39;t “fire”, they are becoming fire, they are in a constant process of change.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No, i&#39;m telling you, there is a fire and we need to do something!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Heraclitus, please, i&#39;m begging you look around!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;The Logos of the universe is available to all through reason!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, we humans exist in a state of constant strife, much like the flames.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I mean physically look behind you and see the fire!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But that&#39;s what i&#39;m telling you, why would i have to look when i already figured out the truth from reason alone?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;People are so stupid and ignorant.&#34;

" title="But at least he wasn&#39;t wrong. It&#39;s better to be on fire than to be wrong, when you think about it.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 25 Nov 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Philosophy in 5000 B.C.</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/577</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/577</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/PhilosophyinBC.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Have you ever, in a moment of solitude, gazed into the stars and wondered why we exist? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;We are given no guidance, no plan, no structure, we merely find ourselves existing.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;We find ourselves born into a society, and take the world presented to us as a given. Is humanity great enough to overcome this?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Do we have it within ourselves to create our own truth, or are we forever chained to the ideals of the society we find ourvles in?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Fred, god damnit not again! You let the deer run right past you. You find yourself in a hunter gatherer society, so hunt!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I was doing something more important.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What could be more important than survival?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Doing a transvaluation of all values, obviously!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Besides, that might have not even been a real deer. It was probably an illusion created by an evil demon.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Guys! You guys! Can you just do some hunting? Or at least some gathering? please. God damnit, why did i get born into the one hunter gathere group filled with philosophers.&#34;

" title="It could be worse though, imagine you were in a group of Theater Dorks and they were always trying to put on little skits and do improv to pass the time.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 18 Nov 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Bertrand Russell Files for Divorce</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/576</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/576</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/BertrandRussellFilesforDivorce.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Alright, Bertrand Russell, you are filing for divorce, and you are claiming that your wife is at fault? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;First, let us assume that all marital problems can be represended as Godel Numbers.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, your Honor, and i intend to prove beyond any doubt that this is the case.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;The first thing to point out is that both sets are countable infinities, so both have an injective function to the set of natural numbers, from this...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Mr. Russell, does any of this have a point?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Don&#39;t worry, your honor, we only have around two hundred slides to go. Obviously, before we can discuss the problems in the marriage, we have to ground them in pure, rigorous logic.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;And Ms. Russell, you claim that he was at fault, what is your claim?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I mean, basically because he was doing shit like this all the time. Always trying to ground everything in logic.&#34;

" title="It&#39;s a mistake to ground your marriage in pure logic, you have to ground it in empiricism (looking hot).
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 11 Nov 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Forced to Be Free</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/575</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/575</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ForcedtoBeFree.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Rousseau, come quick, someone rejecting their responsiblity to particpate in civil society! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Doesn&#39;t sound very free.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Let&#39;s rock &#39;n&#39; roll.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Hey, you, quit being unfree!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I am being free, no one can tell me what to do!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Wrong, we live in a society! Freedom is obedience to the general will!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But i don&#39;t recognize society&#39;s rules, man.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Why not?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;That&#39;s it, buddy! I am forcing you to participate in the society in which you live, you cretin! Now get to the polling station or i&#39;ll shoot!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So i just have to vote for what benefits me, and you&#39;ll let me go?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Oh, you&#39;d like that, wouldn&#39;t you? Just voting for your own selfish, ignorant self interest, nice try!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You will enlighten yourself to accept that your rational self interest is to be virtuous and live in accordance with the common interest.....             &#34;

" title="Sometimes people talk about testing voters on their knowledge before allowing them to vote, but I think forcing them to read Rousseau last minute at gunpoint is just more in line with American Values.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 04 Nov 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Death of Socrates</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/574</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/574</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/TheDeathofSocrates.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Socrates you are condemned to death, what are you going to do? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Death can only be one of two things. It can either be a long sleep, which we at last find rest...or! and here&#39;s where it gets good. We could travel to another realm with all the other dead people. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Don&#39;t worry Plato, for death is no great thing to fear.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Think about it, i could go around for all eternity pestering people about all the things they claim to know!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But Socrates, we still have so much to lear-&#34;

PERSON: &#34;In fact, give me that thing i want to get started right away!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I could interrogate every person who ever existed, and prove that they are all as stupid as the athenians, it would be paradise!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Oh and one more thing, don&#39;t write any of this down and twist things around to service your own ideas.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;He&#39;s gone...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Haha, right, of course not...&#34;

" title="&#34;Oh and one more thing, if you do happen to write anything down, make sure to get my opinions on how loverboys are still hot even if they grow a beard, people in the future need to know.&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 28 Oct 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Plato vs Nietzsche: Who is the Real Nerd?</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/573</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/573</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/PlatovsNietzscheWhoistheRealNerd.png" alt="PERSON: &#34; &#34;

PERSON: &#34; I am here to tell you that your relentless pursuit of abstract eternal reason will poison philosophy for 2,000 years.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Plato! You are ruining philosophy, and i came come back in time to destroy you!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Who are you?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It is i, Friedrich Nietzsche, the philosopher for none and all!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Okay...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It is a cowardly weak creature, too afraid of life to live, so instead delves into into abstract puzzles that mean nothing to anyone.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What is a nerd?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;How am i a nerd?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Fine fine, i&#39;m a nerd, stop!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Because i am a champion wreslter and you are a weakling, and i can easily do this to you.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Stop that.&#34;

" title="Plato then insisted that Nietzsche was merely a reflection of the abstract perfect form of Nerd, and Nietzsche was like &#34;god damnit shut up nerd there is no such thing&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 21 Oct 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Francis Bacon vs the Scholastics</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/572</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/572</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/FrancisBaconvstheScholastics.png" alt="PERSON: &#34; &#34;

PERSON: &#34;We already do that, we look at the this book where Aristotle tells us what is true.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No no no! I mean look at more things than books, and try to work out how they work, so we can master them.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, we look at the scripture too.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No, i mean looking at the world! Looking at STUFF, and writing down how it works.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;m not following. You mean like looking at an Aquinas book?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No, things!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I don&#39;t know, maybe start by looking at the mold growing in this room...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Hmm, no, it seem to doesn&#39;t say anything about mold in Aristotle.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What things?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No, the mold in this room, it&#39;s right there!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What chapter is that, i&#39;m not seeing it?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Over there! It&#39;s... what the...it&#39;s growing..&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Wow, that was unexpected. I guess that&#39;s how mold works. Huh, i better write that down.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;If mold were real it would be mentioned somewhere!&#34;

" title="The mold is a metaphorical representation of how sometimes stuff gets really moldy.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 14 Oct 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Defeat of Sauron</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/571</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/571</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/TheDefeatofSauron.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Because the entire army of Sauron lies before us and mount doom, they would shoot us down with bows. ::::(-3 61)Why don&#39;t we just fly to Mordor on the stupid eagles, Gandalf? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Then we don&#39;t go to Mount Doom, we will go straight to Sauron himself!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Huh, according to this, being the Dark Master of the Earth who bends all life to his will doesn&#39;t mesh very well with the concept of “justice”...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yeah, weird huh?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So i guess i&#39;ve been going about this all wrong...dang.&#34;

" title="&#34;It says here, DON&#39;T murder your enemies and crush all who stand against you? Surely that can&#39;t be right, can it?&#34;
&#34;It seems so.&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 07 Oct 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Upbringing of John Stuart Mill</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/570</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/570</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/TheUpbringingofJohnStuartMill.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;I will create a genuis in you, young John Stuart Mill, so that you might solve philosophy! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;You must study all the Greek classics!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You have to learn latin too and the roman poets! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;But i want to play!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Do i have to?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It seems like some of the other children are having more fun...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I don&#39;t understand this passage of Kant.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Then read it again! NO excuses, no laziness!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;ve done it father, i&#39;ve completed my masterpiece.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So what is it, what is the solution to philosophy?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So philosophically speaking, for example, it would best for children to happy, believe it or not.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It turns out we should just try to make everyone as happy as possible, which is achieved through individual autonomy, and less authority.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Well, this is awkward.&#34;

" title="John Stuart Mill: &#34;We should even consider the happiness and autonomy of women and animals&#34;
James Mill: &#34;Surely not women?!&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 30 Sep 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>An Alternate History of the Galileo Affair</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/569</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/569</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/AnAlternateHistoryoftheGalileoAffair.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Galileo Galilei, you are summoned before this court on the grounds that we vehemently suspect your of heresy! &#34;

PERSON: &#34; ::::(-24 495)But...why?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;ll look in my bible, where it clearly states not to look at evidence to see how things are!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Why don&#39;t you just look in the telescope, to see the evidence?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But the pope is sponsoring my work, and he told me that i could argue for the position as long as i remained neutral on the answer.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Remained neutral? Ha! It is clear that the heliocentric view is correct, you argue far too convincingly that it is true!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So you were convinced by it?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;No please...those biblical passages were probably just metaphors...&#34;

" title="Wait a minute, this complaint comes from the Pope himself, who thought the argument was convincing, this goes deeper than we thought...
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 23 Sep 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Dogmatic Slumber</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/568</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/568</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/DogmaticSlumber.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;The year was 1739, Immanuel Kant slept peacefully in his bed, content in his knowledge that the world pretty much made sense, when suddenly... &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Hume, what the hel?! Why did you wake me up by kicking me?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But Hume, that&#39;s completely stupid in every possible way, it was obviously you kicking me that did it.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Show me the causation? Where is it? Do you see any causation around? NO!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You have awoken me both physically and intellectually, and now i must spent the rest of my life proving you wrong. For this i must thank you.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Sadly i cannot refute you.&#34;

" title="Whether Hume actually awoke Kant from his dogmatic slumber or if it was just a coincidence, is truly one of the greatest mysteries of philosophy.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 16 Sep 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>A Brief History of Human Nature</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/567</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/567</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/ABriefHistoryofHumanNature.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Man is a featherless biped&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Plato, 380 bc&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Man is the rational animal. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Man is the animal with a soul.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Aristotle, 350 bc&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Descartes, 1640&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Man is the animal that is born to suffer.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Schopenhauer, 1810&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Man is the animal that has the burden of freedom.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Man is the animal that can keep promises.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Nietzsche, 1887&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Sartre, 1943&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Man is the animal that has language&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Wittgenstein, 1953&#34;

PERSON: &#34;And if there is such a thing, real human nature is to be a snobby, pretentious Frenchmen. And if you don&#39;t think so, well, then go fuck yourself.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Human nature? Are you stupid? There is no such thing, obviously. We are created by our environment.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Derrida, 1972&#34;

" title="Of course the real answer is that God, in His infinite wisdom, created humans to stare at computer screens for 8 hours a day.">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 09 Sep 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Greatest Happiness Possible</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/566</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/566</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/TheGreatestHappinessPossible.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Bentham, wake up, i&#39;ve solved life, philosophy, and creating the greatest happiness on Earth! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;This whole time we&#39;ve been trying to make people has happy as possible.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;We&#39;ve been going about it all wrong!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Isn&#39;t that good?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Have you seen humans? We invent things to be miserable about even when everything is fine. In order to create the most happiness we need a different strategy.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Follow me!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Look at this. This is a dog. He is sad because he lives in a shelter.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Looking at him makes me sad as well.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What did you have in mind?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Exactly.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Now, if my theory is correct, the way to create the most happiness in the world in simple. All we have to do is take this dog out of the shelter....&#34;

PERSON: &#34;...and bring him to the beach.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;By god, you&#39;ve solved it.&#34;

" title="They named him &#34;Utility Monster&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 02 Sep 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Ignorance is Bliss</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/565</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/565</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/IgnoranceisBliss.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Yes, they don&#39;t have to worry about anything. ::::(-8 42)Sometimes i envy stupid people. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;m here to tell you that only knowledge and wisdom can lead to happiness!.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You are the ignorant ones, you are the stupid idiots, and that&#39;s why you are unhappy! ::::(-10 458)Ignorance is bliss.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So you don&#39;t think ignorance is bliss?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Plato, what are you doing here?&#34;

PERSON: &#34; They are afraid of things they don&#39;t understand, and they understand nothing! They fear foreigners. They fear change. They are even afraid of colleges, of knowledge and learning itself. They are hateful and miserable.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But Plato, aren&#39;t the ignorant blissfully unaware of the deepest problems of life?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Oww, Plato, it hurts.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Oh, it hurts? Well maybe if you weren&#39;t so ignorant in martial arts, and you could have blocked that move! Then you wouldn&#39;t be in pain. You see how ignorance causes pain?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Thank you Plato, through kicking our asses you have enlightened us to the true nature of happiness.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You are god damned right, and don&#39;t you forget it!&#34;

" title="And yes, I am saying that to be a truly great philosopher, you MUST be a master of kung fu.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 26 Aug 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Edmund Burke Runs For Re-election</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/564</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/564</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/EdmundBurkeRunsForReelection.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Good people of Buckinghamshire, if you elect me again i will be proud to be your virtual representative. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Wait, what is a “virtual” representative?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It means that while you vote for me, your thoughts and opinions will have no impact on how i vote in the parliament.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So...almost like you don&#39;t represent us at all?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yes, in fact, exactly like that!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What&#39;s even the point of democracy if the elected officials don&#39;t represent us?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Why should i, the educated legislator, have to listen to you, the idiot commoner, on how to run the government?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Exactly. Correct. I feel the same way, democracy is a pretty dumb idea.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It would be irrational of me to represent your local prejudices when i know better. Where are you going? I&#39;m just being honest.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Unbelievable. Idiot commoners, voting in their own interest!&#34;

" title="Finally an honest politician.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 19 Aug 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Vastness of the Universe and the Meaning of Life</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/563</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/563</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/TheVastnessoftheUniverse.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Have you ever looked up at the stars and just wondered in awe at how small we really are? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;What do you mean?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;The universe is unimaginably vast, and we are but tiny specks, how could our lives have any meaning?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So what should i do?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Try to make your life as meaningful as you can.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I will!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;ve done it!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Become as huge as possible, like you said!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Well, you said the reason our lives lacked meaning is because we are very small, so to make my life more meaningful i got as more huge as possible.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Done...what?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What? That...well... actually is quite logically consistent with the original idea.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Uh...&#34;

" title="Bulking phase: life affirming, meaningful pursuit, the will to power in the most literal possible sense.

Cutting phase: life denying, elevates the aesthetic to the realm of the serious, has you eating things like salads for some reason.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 12 Aug 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Philosopher News Network: Doping Scandal</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/562</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/562</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/PhilosopherNewsNetworkDopingScandal.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Breaking news: Philosopher William James has been accused of using performance enhancing drugs, and is being banned from international Philosophy. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Philosophy union wins long battle for better pay, safer thinking conditions &#34;

PERSON: &#34;James was subject to drug testing after claiming he could understand Hegel, and allegedly failed multiple tests. We have Bertrand Russell on the scene.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Microsoft&#39;s AI philosopher shut down after asking why huge corporations control AI &#34;

PERSON: &#34;William James, i have to ask, did you take performance enhancing substances?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I categorically deny it. I merely took an over the counter drug that trigger the test.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Were you on drugs when you came up with the pragmatic theory of truth?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I have no further comment.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;...uh...hard work and natural talent?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;How do you explain that you are the only philosopher to understand Hegel since Hegel himself?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;James faces a ten year ban from thinking, which if upheld, will also revoke the pragmatic theory of truth from the canon. Truth will have to go back to being a correspondence between word and object. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Peter Singer arrested for suspiscions of unethical thought experiments on animals &#34;

" title="Also, William James was later found to have chromosomes in a DNA test, and an social media mob believes this is clearly cheating.
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 05 Aug 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Nietzsche vs Socrates</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/561</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/561</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/NietzschevsSocrates.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;I have been meditating in the mountains for ten years, and now i descend back to the people to share my wisdom... &#34;

PERSON: &#34;man has to overcome...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;We don&#39;t care!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What? Well, i have wisdom accrued from ten years...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Useless wisdom! Booo!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Don&#39;t you understand that knowledge is communal? While you&#39;ve been in the mountains for ten years, we&#39;ve all been sharing ideas, having discussions, and growing our knowledge in an organized way.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But i proclaim that God is Dead!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;yeah, we figured that out after like 20 minutes. haven&#39;t you notice that no hermit has ever contributed to human knowledge in any real way?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;But Socrates, what reason is there for great men to mingle among the herd, rather than  forge their own ideas in solitude!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Well, another thing is we&#39;ve all been having sex with each other like...constantly, what have you been doing in the mountains alone?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I think i may have made a terrible mistake...&#34;

" title="&#34;And then Zarathustra made the classic mistake of starting a cult that wasn&#39;t a weird sex cult. If you are going to start a cult, you should at the very least be doing weird sex stuff or you aren&#39;t going to have a good time...&#34;
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 29 Jul 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>No Motive</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/560</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/560</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/NoMotive.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Uh...hey Sartre, what are you doing? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Just climbing up on this roof.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Right...why?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Human freedom transcends even our own motives! We are not bound by the deeds of our past, Camus!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Why? Because i am free, that&#39;s why!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;It just seems you might have...some kind of motive or reason for doing so.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You have a point. A human life is not a novel, with a neatly tied up story. Our actions are often random and choatic, and we only attempt to make sense of them after the fact to try in vain to imbue them with some sort of meaning that they never had.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;That being said, it looks a lot like you are trying to assassate Charles de gaulle, and that&#39;s the kind of thing people usually have an advanced motive for.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Wrong! I just happened to be freely pointing the gun in this direction, with no particular motive! ::::(-8 4394)That is true.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Plus, one doesn&#39;t need any special reason to want to shoot de Gaulle, am i right?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Maybe i suddenly want to shoot in that direction...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Find your own world historical event to do for no reason!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Give me the gun!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What? No, i thought of it first Camus!&#34;

" title="Should I have a cup of coffee, or shoot the president?
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 22 Jul 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>Plato vs Democracy</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/559</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/559</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/PlatovsDemocracy.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Democracy is horrible system of government. I hate democracy! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;But Plato, shouldn&#39;t the government work for and by the people of the State?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;For the people, yes. By the people? No. The people are idiots.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;In a democracy, opportunist politicians will pander to the worst instincts of the humanity. And humanity, as we know from history, is not exactly great.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So what should we do instead?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So you think someone like Diogenes should be in charge?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Diogenes?! What, no! That guy is the worse, he doesn&#39;t even believe in the Forms!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;m talking about myself! I should be in charge. I should be the king of the universe, in fact. How is that not obvious? &#34;

PERSON: &#34;I wouldn&#39;t vote for you.&#34;

" title="Some people have called Plato the first totalitarian thinker, but if you look at what Democracy is producing these days it&#39;s hard to not think he had a bit of a point...
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 15 Jul 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>The Bertrand Russell Paradox</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/558</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/558</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/TheBertrandRussellParadox.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Frege, I&#39;ve finally done it! &#34;

PERSON: &#34;Done what?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;ve come to a glorious conclusion, and made definitive progress in the history of ideas!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I&#39;ve proven beyond any doubt that my entire life&#39;s work, to ground mathematics in pure logic, is an enormous waste of time.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;You have? How so?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Think about it Frege, do you really think no other nerds would have ever tried to ground mathematics in pure logic? You are even trying to do it!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;By proving once and for all that this is a huge waste of time, i am freeing up the time of those nerds to do something useful, like science, or making video games.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;This is the Bertrand Russell Paradox, that you can make progress through proving that you haven&#39;t made any progress.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So we must celebrate ourselves, my friend, for proving conclusively that we wasted our lives!&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Yeah...i would still rather...not have wasted my life though?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;A ridiculous fantasy.&#34;

" title="Actually I believe, using only logic, that I can prove once and for all that it is impossible to not waste your life...
">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 08 Jul 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
    </item>
    <item>
        <title>AI and the Meaning of Life</title>
        <author>Corey Mohler</author>
        <link>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/557</link>
        <guid>http://existentialcomics.com/comic/557</guid>
        <description><![CDATA[
            
            <img src="https://static.existentialcomics.com/comics/AIandtheMeaningofLife.png" alt="PERSON: &#34;Finally, through the power of AI, we are able to answer any philosophical question. &#34;

PERSON: &#34;How does it work?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Well, it uses a complex statistical model to finish sentences the way that humans might finish them.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;That doesn&#39;t sound like “answering” anything...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Just wait until you see it work.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Okay...&#34;

PERSON: &#34;What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Why did it say that?&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Well, it probably learned off human datasets, and humans always say that because that&#39;s what the computer says in Hitchhiker&#39;s Guide to the Galaxy.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;I probably learned  off human datasets.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;42.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;So the computer is immitating people who are immitating a joke computer? That&#39;s even dumber than the original idea. I&#39;m out of here.&#34;

PERSON: &#34;Wait, you didn&#39;t even hear how it solved literature by writing randomized, derivitive novels!&#34;

" title="AI is cool because they just renamed &#34;intelligence&#34; to &#34;predicted what other people might say without really understand any of it&#34;.">
                
            ]]></description>
        <pubDate>Mon, 01 Jul 2024 00:00:00 PDT</pubDate>
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