I'm pretty sure I just came across a new sub-genre here. I shall dub thee Amateur Millennial Mashing. Much like integrity, it can't be taught - only induced. 6 inches of wet spaghetti and Dress Barn managers are required.
VR Fuck Dolls is basically porn, the only difference being that you decide what happens next. It is the only open-world video game we know of that allows players to be free to touch, squeeze, lick, fondle and suck everything in the game.
Play Gotham Babes with our beloved super hero Batman! From now he will execute criminals in another way – he will fuck their holes until they beg him for mercy…
VR Fuck Dolls is basically porn, the only difference being that you decide what happens next. It is the only open-world video game we know of that allows players to be free to touch, squeeze, lick, fondle and suck everything in the game.
Around the 1:50 mark she denies a handful of the colonel's secret recipe. Uh uh. If that's her idea of cutting back on carbs, I'd love to know how she celebrates Thanksgiving. The real question is: How many 2for1 Golden Corral coupons does it take to make this transaction happen?
Layin' pipe only has a few rules: 1) Look as little like Harvey Weinstein as possible 2) develop stamina and 3) maintain an erection harder than a bowl of Campbell's tomato soup. Not exactly a difficult list... but this Khokhol is determined to challenge at least 2 key items today. GG NO RE
How many times have I said sweet mother of Hulk Hogan, Asians are fucking crazy? Seventy nine. How many times did I actually mean it? ZEER-OH... until today. Grab some industrial-strength sling hooks and drop-ship her ass into southern California. Boom, problem solved.
I like her face. I like her enthusiasm. But above all I like her devotion to commitment. Her borderline absent reaction to an explosive device detonating inside her spincther however, has reinforced my stance on late-term abortions. Like, 35 years late. Toss a token in the abyss [ HERE ]
Undoubtedly the most erotic thing I've seen since responding to an OKCupid message from a girl named The Violator. Results were similar if you replace 'cumshot' with 'Hellmans Tartar Sauce'. And 'private affair' with 'Burger King during rush hour'. [ FULL SCENE ]
The Oakland Doorknob. German Knuckle Cake. Mongolian Taco Punching. Not buying Bitcoin when it was 73 cents. It goes by a lotta different names. But the shame... thats always the same. [MORE]
Much like the original Evil Dead trilogy, this goes from semi-romantic to LOL IT'S TIME TO STOP pretty damn quick. A taint-punching compilation that can only be truly appreciated by vaping-enthusiasts and those that refuse to listen to Limp Bizkit unless it's on vinyl. Part 1 HERE
I once saw a woman's asshole give birth to a new language right in front of me. That was firmly at the top of my 'porn I can't jerk off to' list. And then one day... this link showed up in my inbox.
If the 1980's taught me something, it's that ANYthing goes as long as there's a killer soundtrack behind you. Except this. Not even the renaissance of crack cocaine will be held liable for this shit.
To all 19 active female viewers of this site: Break out the newtons and take some notes. This is what you DON'T DO to avoid becoming official Efukt alumni. @eFuktdotcom More: [ HERE + HERE ]
Arnost and his 1 inch mosquito bite take a nosedive into humiliation whilst trying to perform in front of a live studio audience. Sorry friendo, but I think it's best you take that CHUD haircut and make your way back to the subreddit you done crawled up out of. [S'MORE]
Nothing spells H-I-G-H M-A-I-N-T-E-N-A-N-C-E like a lady refusing a gift. TEH FACTS: They'll never look at a 2-Liter the same again, tolerance is non-negotiable and getting them to do a sequel? Well... that's about as likely as Lebron James growing a hairline. More [ HERE ] Song [ HERE ]
Perhaps 'audible' is the wrong word to use here, as it suggests this misfit anticipated the scene going any other possible way. She didn't. Trust me. I've been inside a Walmart parking lot on a Friday night - I know what I'm talking about. [Full Scene: HERE] [Remixes: HERE]
Aim for dry ground and let 'er rip. That's been the formula for centuries... until Krystal "i have standards" Steal showed up. You see, she has more apathy for body fluids than Paula Deen has for low fat potato chippies. Ever wonder what it would be like if KFC had an all-you-can-eat buffet? That's the kind of 'sounds fun but always ends bad' disappointment I'm talking about here.
I feel like this has some deeper meaning than a porn parody of the exorcist. I just awed at it like it was a Salvador Dali painting or some shit, trying to figure out how my existence had brought me to this point. [FULL MOVIE]
Somewhere between the British chivalry, and the main star having a more objectionable gunt than the NFL draft, I've lost the desire to masturbate. But one things for sure: Buzzfeed's loathsome content has officially been 1-upped.
I can't imagine how many family gatherings have been derailed thanks to the conversation that followed wearing one of these beauties to dinner. How the fuck are you supposed to multitask keeping grandma vertical AND explain this? Spoiler alert: You can't. A choice must be made.
