Modern Seinfeld

Modern Seinfeld co-author @joshgondelman has co-written a whole book! It's called "You Blew It," and it's out today! http://bit.ly/1MRmRYU 

George's GF wants a "no phones at dinner" rule. G: "We had a good thing going, Jerry! Now we're supposed to talk? That can only end badly!"

After her fuck buddy texts her that she should come over to "watch Netflix," Elaine is pissed when he actually just wants to watch Netflix.

Jerry refuses to go to a Cash Only diner. J:"They’ve seen the credit card! They know the credit card! It’s time to accept the credit card!"

When George falls for a Twitter bot, Kramer claims he once Catfished himself. J:How’s that even possible? K:Oh I’m good Jerry. I’m real good

Elaine’s autocorrect makes her look racist in front of her new boss. E:“Why would they even program that in?” J:“I’m sure they didn’t!"

Kramer thinks the NSA is spying on him, so he goes "off the grid." Except he uses Jerry's phone, computer & email. "You're just on MY grid!"

When the WiFi George usually steals suddenly has a password, he becomes addicted to trying to “hack” in. J:“Just get your own!” G:“NEVER!"

Jerry meets an amazing woman on JDate but when he begins to suspect she's faking her Judaism, Kramer volunteers to investigate.

George refuses to listen to his GF's voicemails, gets dumped. “It’s 2015! Send a text! I don’t want to hear your voice if I don’t have to!”

Elaine has no idea what her BF does for a living and it’s now too late to ask. E:“Teacher, I think. Or a doctor? Wait Is ‘computers' a job?"

When Jerry dumps a woman who works for Time Warner Cable, his Internet stops working. She won’t get it fixed unless he takes her out again.

George goes to war with an evil barista who writes embarrassing things on George's cup instead of his name.

George refuses to date a woman when he sees her on 2 different dating apps. G:”It’s too desperate.” J:”How’d you find out?” G:”I’m on both."

Jerry's GF texts in the movies but acts like it's okay because she sits in the last row. GF:Who am I bothering?! J:Me! You're bothering me!

Jerry takes a date to Tim Whatley's Super Bowl party. She dumps Jerry when he cries at a commercial."What? The dog really loved that horse!"

A woman accuses George of harrassing her by DM-ing her. G:"I was being friendly!" E:"Oh please.There's no such thing as a 'friendly' DM."

After Elaine's BF logs into his email on her computer, she makes the mistake of searching her name & seeing everything he's said about her.

Kramer pitches an insane ad to McDonald’s. “Sure everyone loves your burgers but what if you made it seem like your burgers loved everyone?"

George rejects a Tinder girl when all her photos feature multiple girls. E:”What if she’s the pretty one?” G:“How naive can you be, Elaine?"