Really. I promise.
When it comes to chronic illness, a lot of the time people always try to only focus on positivity.
"I don't let diabetes beat me!"
"I won't let diabetes keep me from doing what I love!"
"I'll fight hard every day!"
There's definitely a core of truth to maintaining a positive attitude throughout this disease, but I also find that too often, it comes at the expense of not allowing yourself to feel the bad parts. Because sometimes, acknowledging that you're not okay when it comes to diabetes feels like a huge personal failure. Like you weren't trying hard enough. Like you should have known and done better. Because how can you keep up with being positive if you let the negative interfere?
I want you all to know that it's so very much okay to not be okay. You're allowed to feel frustrated, stressed and tired. You're allowed to be fed up with this shit. You're allowed to curse at diabetes and the ignorance spread about our condition.
We're finite and we're human. This shit wears us down, diabetes is really hard, and that's okay. It would be weird if this stuff didn't negatively impact us.
Don't get caught in the positivity trap, where you only allow yourself to feel positive things because you have to 'or else'. You don't have to be positive all the time. It's super important for us to feel these frustrations and all the other bullshit so we can process them rather than push them aside and bottle them up until they cave in on us. Doing so is known to help prevent burnout and makes for happier, healthier people.
Give yourself the space and time to feel the bad stuff. Be sad, cry, punch things at the gym, go for a long and lonely walk. Yell, play violent games, listen to heavy metal, bitch at friends! Do all these things so you don't get stuck pent up in the background and unable to move forward.
You'll feel so much better if you give yourself permission to feel these things. Take a nap or go to bed for the night afterwards, and when you wake up, reflect and plan.
I don't know how many other folks here are parents vs diabetes sufferers, but I just wanted to give a shout out to my 13 year old daughter for crushing it these last few months and, hopefully going forward as well.
Last endo visit was incredibly frustrating for me and I was shocked by the 13.2 A1C reading. Turns out she'd been forgetting to take her Tresiba (often), getting BG readings as high as 450 (without telling anyone) and generally doing teenage stuff with respect to responsibility (like some days just not checking BG at all and just making up a number to tell us). She's done very well managing things since she was diagnosed at 9, so this was very much a backslide. I was super pissed.
The endo (pretty cool lady) talked me down a bit and assured me that this is normal for teenagers - their brains are literally not fully functional. So, I endeavored to make some routine changes for the whole family that would ensure accountability (for all of us) and produce a better result.
We switched from slow-acting at 7AM to doing it at 7PM (because she never sees 7AM on a non-school day, in truth). We also turned it into a nightly "event" where everyone's phone alarm goes off at the same time and all of us (including her older sister, when home) review her BG readings for the day and talk about how it went and what to try tomorrow if it was a bit high.
Anyway, at the visit yesterday, her A1C was 7.4 and I know in the last month she's made some headway to do even better; targeting less than 7.5 (edited from 5.5) for next visit. And, honestly, there is a lot less stress in the house around it because it's a discussion we have every single day even when things are going well (which is a good time to give some praise).
So, congrats to my little girl and here's hoping for continued improvement for next time! Any of you other parents feeling frustrated, hope you can find ways to flip the conversation as well - it sure made the difference for us!
EDIT: Showed this to my daughter and she wanted me to say thanks to all of you who wrote and congratulated her. So, thank you! Also re-read the sheet and the target is 7.5, not 5.5 - guess I remembered that wrong.
Community Details
46.5k
Members
230
Online
Apr 11, 2008
Cake Day