@chrissyteigen

Basketball commentator said "One guy. Two guys. Three guys!" And I said "ugh that's my dream" and john ignored me per usual

1 day ago

@AnnaKendrick47

Sometimes I feel like I could pull off the perfect murder. I'm not saying I would… but I think I could. Merry Christmas!

3 days ago

@SherriEShepherd

Been up since 2am but my uber driver wants to talk. I can barely keep my eyes open but he is so eager and joyful - ‘tis the season 👌🏾

4 days ago

@LoriLoughlin

When you finally finish all your Christmas shopping and wrapped the last gift! 💤🎄 https://t.co/Qlv6kpHvoh

4 days ago

@BrandiGlanville

2017 let me at you ❤️💋💋👊💪🏽💪🏽

4 days ago

@BrandiGlanville

Spent this evening re-reading my divorce decree so fun❤️🙏🏻night again

5 days ago

@Sethrogen

I ate too much weed food & saw Rogue One & it was super intense. The scariest part is when I dropped my phone under the seat in front of me.

5 days ago

@ConanOBrien

The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. The worst trick he pulled was that “Got your nose” thing.

6 days ago

@Lin_Manuel

WAYS SUCCESS HAS CHANGED ME: I just clicked on that 'overnight shipping' extra charge like it was NOTHING YO

6 days ago

@leannrimes

I'm shaving my head... #thestaticisreal #longhairproblems 😋

7 days ago

@snooki

City all day to promote Celebrity Apprentice! Basically just telling everyone how obsessed I am with my terminator boss. 💁🏽 #sendjesus

7 days ago

@BrandiGlanville

My eldest son just called me to tell me my youngest son has decided to convert and become Jewish ❤️

7 days ago

@BetteMidler

Kylie has a 2017 lingerie calendar coming out. I also have a calendar, but I just write “underwear” each day so I don’t forget to wear it.

7 days ago

@StephenAtHome

Facebook's adding a “Fake News” warning. Ok, but where is the "Your ex went on vacation with another guy and posted cute photos” warning?

9 days ago

@snooki

BACK AT THE GYM! But totally realized I lost my beast mode and now I'm a slob. DAMNIT.

9 days ago

@chrissyteigen

Just told a guy on the plane that he watched one of the worst films I've ever seen and he said his niece is the lead because fml

10 days ago

@ConanOBrien

I was so hoping that Natalie Portman’s biopic “Jackie” was about Jackie Chan.

10 days ago

@StephenAmell

Brewed some coffee in the Keurig this morning. Hit the button. Relaxed. All that was missing was the cup. It's time for Christmas break.

11 days ago

@chrissyteigen

I don't want to brag but I have some of the cleanest ears in the game right now

11 days ago

@chrissyteigen

Taco Bell has a white mystery airhead flavored freeze drink and I am going to make love to it in 22 mins when my postmate arrives

11 days ago