DURHAM, NC—Noting that adopting the religious belief system would allow individuals to fully enjoy the holiday season in all of its glory, a report released Tuesday by the Duke Divinity School revealed that there is still time to convert to Christianity before the start of Christmas.

WASHINGTON—In what experts are describing as the most marked improvement in American academic performance in decades, a study released Friday by the U.S. Department of Education has found that the majority of the nation’s students have attained the skills necessary to recognize math.

NORRISTOWN, PA—Saying he wasn’t sure whether writing to them was even worth the effort at this point, local man Luke Browning expressed concern to reporters Tuesday that the offensive messages he’s been sending women through OkCupid are getting lost among all the harassment from other male users.

SAN ANTONIO—NCG Information Systems sales associate Greg Autry told reporters Wednesday that he is currently in the process of “psyching himself up” to ask Head Database Management Analyst Stacy Donahue to their office’s annual Fal...

LAWRENCEVILLE, GA—Expressing her growing unease at repeatedly spotting the same picture and text lurking in the corners of her favorite webpages, local woman Laura Spelman confirmed Monday that she has been stalked across eight different sites by an obsessed Nine West shoe advertisement.

KNOXVILLE, TN—Sources close to marketing director Paul Himes confirmed Tuesday that no one has taken any of the 44-year-old’s opinions seriously for over 10 years, explaining that his viewpoints have no influence whatsoever on others and that ...

Need some holiday shopping inspiration? Here are the top-selling gifts in 2016.

While many people will be gathering with family and friends this holiday season to eat, drink, and be merry, others may not have anyone with whom to celebrate the festivities.

MUSKEGON, MI—Caught completely off guard by the viscous lump of sputum that was dislodged and sent rocketing upward from his lower respiratory tract, area man Luke Reese confirmed Wednesday he had no idea his impending cough was going to be a wet one.

BEDMINSTER, NJ—Wincing noticeably as they read the applicant’s claim that he has “always wanted to work for the leading midsize pharmaceutical advertising and brand strategy group in the tri-state area,” sources at Percepta Healthcare Communications confirmed Tuesday that a cover letter specifically tailored to their company was much sadder than any of the generic ones they had received for a recently posted job opening.

PALM BEACH GARDENS, FL—Saying it provides a pleasant and rewarding diversion from the quietness of living alone, local grandmother Rosemary Burke confirmed Wednesday that she has been enjoying a thriving correspondence with Mailer-Daemon.

WASHINGTON—Saying the option is revolutionizing the way the nation’s 3- and 4-year-olds prepare for the grade school years ahead, a Department of Education report released Thursday confirmed that an increasing number of U.S.