Night Crumbs
The Photoshop Lifetime Achievement Awards: It looks like Mimi’s in-house Photoshop team shrunk her down so that the tree would look bigger thus making her ass look even smaller and skinnier. Genius move! She better up their end-of-the-year bonuses – Lainey Gossip
Hailey Baldwin’s LOVE Advent video is a perfect Ambien substitute – Drunken Stepfather
Olivia Wilde cut the Melania Trump out of her hair – Celebitchy
Andy Cohen isn’t going to Countess LuAnn’s wedding – Reality Tea
The KKKs are tired of the Rob Kartrashian and Blac Chyna drama, and it goes against my religion to say this, but I’m with them – The Superficial
The Silver Fox IS living the best holiday vacation. He gets to hang out with elephants by day and lay his head on those muscled-up man chichis by night – Towleroad
Eat some baby Aspirin before you watch this video of Kate Upton doing squats or you may have a heart attack from the excitement of it all – Popoholic
Any Xmas special where Detective La Toya does RuPaul drag is my kind of Xmas special – OMG Blog
Wes Anderson is making a stop-animation movie about dogs. That sentence alone made me overdose on twee – Pajiba
Ellen Pompeo has screamed “BOYCOYTT A&E!!!” over their KKK series – Just Jared
The helpful bearded cop and the speeding student who can’t tie a tie need their own buddy comedy – Hollywood Tuna
Hasn’t Leah Remini been through enough?!!! – SOW
Grab a plate and get into this TV man nipple buffet – Popsugar
Pic: Instagram
Justin Bieber Got Indicted In Argentina
In 2013, Justin Bieber brought his hood rat stuff shenanigans to Buenos Aires when he allegedly got all Fat Sam in Bugsy Malone by ordering one of his goons (aka bodyguards) to beat up a paparazzo outside of a club. The police wanted to question him, but he and his bodyguard busted out of Argentina. In November 2014, a judge ordered the Biebes back to Buenos Aires for questioning, but since ain’t nobody gonna tell the leader of the Wild Boyz what to do, he dropped a rebel toddler fart on that request. The judge eventually issued a warrant in April 2015 and that messed with the Biebs’ planned stop in Argentina on his Purpose world tour. The warrant was later canceled. And that takes us today when the judge in Buenos Aires officially let the world know that they’re not done with the Biebs. They charged him. Great, tonight when Justin Bieber strolls into the club in his great auntie’s fur coat, he’s going to really puff up his chest something extra now that he’s an international criminal and shit. Continue reading
Jared Leto, Who? Charlie Hunnam Ignored His Girlfriend For The Sake Of Acting!
Jared Leto went method by terrorizing his co-stars with jizz-filled condoms, a dead pig and scariest of all, his portrayal of The Joker. Christian Bale has gone method several times including the times he starved himself down to the size of a tequila worm. And Leonardo DiCaprio went method by sleeping in animal carcasses. But Charlie Hunnam went so method that it fucked with his relationship, or so he says. The Lost City of Z doesn’t come out until April 2017, but Charlie’s still hustling like he’s up for an Oscar.
The CAPTION THIS Contest For December 21st!
Pic: Reddit
Open Post: Hosted By Courtney Stodden Cooing Out The Touching Holiday Jingle Of The Year
I say “touching,” because you may want to touch your tonsils while heaving after imagining Santa Claus using his cinnamon tongue to work an egg nog geyser out of Courtney Stodden.
Courtney Stodden delivered a last-minute Christmas ditty (“You spelled ‘dooty’ wrong.” – a HATER) for you to add to your holiday playlist. Courtney’s Mistletoe Bikini is sort of like a Hustler Magazine reboot of Santa Baby. Courtney takes her grandaddy issues to the North Pole when she yodels about being Santa’s side ho ho ho. After Santa slides into Courtney’s DMs on Twitter, he slides his candy cane down her crotch chimney. I know I brought it upon myself, but my Christmas was ruined about five seconds ago after realizing that I was writing Santa and Porn Iguana fanfic.
I put the video after a cut because it auto-plays and the fact that it auto-plays isn’t the worst part. The worst part is the rest of the video from Santa’s beard looking like it just had a date with Ray-J to Mrs. Claus looking like a jaundice-stricken Grinch in bad drag.
Nicki Minaj And Meek Mill Might Be Over
Oh no, it looks like Nicki Minaj will have to buy her own giant slider-sized diamond ring this year for Christmas. (Although something tells me this won’t be the first time that’s happened).
Nicki Minaj might be officially done with Meek Mill. According to Bossip, Meek might have been cheating on her with a boutique owner from Philadelphia for about a year. Nicki probably discovered what was up one day when Meek Mill came back from a trip smelling of cheese steaks and cooch.
Neither Nicki nor Meek has said that they’re over. But their Instagram activity could be a clue. For example, Meek has been posting pictures of asses that don’t belong to Nicki. Meek Mill recently posted (then later deleted) a picture of his alleged lady’s body stocking-wrapped butt on Instagram. Nicki, meanwhile, has been posting motivational shit about people taking you for granted, and cryptic descriptions of shower shoes that probably aren’t actually about the shoes.
If that shady shoe message really was meant for Meek, then I can’t wait to see what kind of visial puns she pulls out to slap back at Azealia Banks. I bet she’s picking out the perfect half-dead azalea plant at Home Depot as we speak.
Bossip claims that Meek Mill didn’t only slip cheater dick into his Philly side piece. He also allegedly gave her money for her boutique. Uh oh. You should never get money involved. I watch daytime TV, I know how this ends. It ends with Meek Mill and Philly boutique lady arguing over whether the money was a gift or a loan while Judge Judy rolls her eyes to Byrd.
Pic: Wenn.com