Putin to Sing at Trump Inauguration
By Andy Borowitz
The choice of Putin raised eyebrows in Washington, since the Russian President is not particularly well known as a singer.
Inauguration Protesters Plan to Surround White House to Keep Obama from Leaving
By Andy Borowitz
The protest’s organizer acknowledged that people were still planning to petition the Electoral College, but added, “This idea has a much better shot at success.”
Putin Agrees to Receive Intelligence Briefings in Trump’s Place
By Andy Borowitz
“Vladimir Putin is just a terrific, terrific guy to do this,” the President-elect said. “He knows all the players.”
Trump to Split Time Between Trump Tower and Kremlin
By Andy Borowitz
His decision reportedly stemmed from his wife’s desire not to uproot the Trump family by relocating full-time to Moscow.
Obama Signs Executive Order Requiring President of United States to Be Taxpayer
By Andy Borowitz
Obama urged people “not to read too much into the timing” of his executive order.
Poll: Americans Favor Keeping Air Force One and Cancelling Trump
By Andy Borowitz
Ninety-four per cent of Americans believe that Air Force One is qualified to be an airplane, while only twenty-one per cent feel that way about Trump as President.
Ben Carson Warns That Bible Makes No Mention of Housing or Urban Development
By Andy Borowitz
But, Carson said, “perhaps the Lord wants me to take this job so that I can banish housing and urban development from the earth.”
Obama Politely Asks Trump to Wait Until Inauguration Before Destroying World
By Andy Borowitz
Obama cited the example of George W. Bush, who waited until he took the oath of office before wreaking destruction on a massive scale.
Trump Warns That Companies Shipping Jobs Overseas Will Be Slapped with Enormous Bribes
By Andy Borowitz
“Do you really want to wind up like Carrier, with seven million dollars in your pockets?” Trump said. “I don’t think so.”
Chris Christie Arrested for Keying Trump’s Limo
By Andy Borowitz
Fellow-Republicans reacted to Christie’s arrest with sadness and sympathy.
