http://www.thefinaledition.com/THE NEW YORK TIMES, WORLD'S NEWSPAPER OF RECORD, CLOSES ITS DOORS FOREVER Fri, 04 Nov 2016 16:16:40 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/disrobing-the-supreme-court.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/disrobing-the-supreme-court.html We’re excited to announce the release of our newest project, a 3-part series on the Supreme Court for Howl.fm We tackle everything SCOTUS, from it’s inception to its demise (yeah, GOP, we had that idea first). There’s even music. Fri, 04 Nov 2016 15:31:04 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/are-there-any-triggers-here-tonight.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/are-there-any-triggers-here-tonight.html The National Lampoon’s first original album in 35 years is The Final Edition’s “Are There Any Triggers Here Tonight?” Mon, 22 Aug 2016 11:51:17 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/rest-of-us-room.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/rest-of-us-room.html Tue, 03 May 2016 11:59:49 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/2016-five-years-dead-this-week.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/2016-five-years-dead-this-week.html Thu, 18 Feb 2016 22:49:24 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/scalia-dies-goes-to-hell-hell-spits-him-right-back-out.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/scalia-dies-goes-to-hell-hell-spits-him-right-back-out.html Within seconds of his death Feb 13th from a chronically shrunken heart, Nino Scalia’s immortal soul was on its way to its inevitable destination -- Hell. Wed, 30 Dec 2015 08:20:09 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/happy-new-year.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/happy-new-year.html credit: Mort Gerberg Mon, 17 Oct 2016 11:37:05 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/hillarys-texts-with-trump.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/hillarys-texts-with-trump.html The Real Hillary Clinton Email Scandal Mon, 11 May 2015 15:04:30 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/introducing-kfc’s-free-range-children.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/introducing-kfc’s-free-range-children.html No need to feel guilty: These crispy kiddos are 100% organic. Thu, 07 May 2015 23:30:43 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/insane-brits-celebrate-tiny-parasite.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/insane-brits-celebrate-tiny-parasite.html ...Who WIll Suck Their Blood For The Rest of Century Fri, 24 Apr 2015 16:15:02 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/okstupid.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/okstupid.html Log on to OK Stupid, and you’ll find what you’ve always been looking for... Sun, 12 Apr 2015 12:06:56 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/meet-racist-barbie.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/meet-racist-barbie.html This all new doll is fun, radiant and on her way to becoming America’s Next Top KKK Wife! Sun, 08 Mar 2015 20:35:06 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/liars-on-lying.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/liars-on-lying.html Are you tired of all the lying from people like Bill O’Reilly and Brian Williams? Sun, 08 Mar 2015 20:41:01 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/say-it-with-a-drone.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/say-it-with-a-drone.html You thought they were just for warfare, and mass murder, but that’s all about to change... Tue, 24 Feb 2015 10:04:46 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/secret-diaries-of-a-terrorist.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/secret-diaries-of-a-terrorist.html The continuing misadventures of a hard-working, misogynistic, sadistic, and violent terrorist... Thu, 08 Jan 2015 11:17:04 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/rip-georges.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/rip-georges.html RIP the entirely great and endlessly prolific provocateur Georges Wolinski who was murdered by the cowardly human sewage who shot up my fellow satirists at Charlie Hebdo in Paris yesterday. Mon, 15 Dec 2014 14:36:14 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/officer-wilsons-neighborhood.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/officer-wilsons-neighborhood.html Ferguson, MO’s Officer Wilson takes your kids on a magical, racist journey through the U.S. justice system! Fri, 19 Dec 2014 12:29:33 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/jesus-no-longer-able-to-blow-out-all-the-candles-on-his-cake-sources-say.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/jesus-no-longer-able-to-blow-out-all-the-candles-on-his-cake-sources-say.html He huffed and He puffed, but Jesus was no match for the 2,014 candles flickering atop His birthday cake according to reports from Heaven. Wed, 10 Dec 2014 13:53:01 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/jesus-no-longer-able-to-blow-out-all-the-candles-on-his-cake-sources-say.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/jesus-no-longer-able-to-blow-out-all-the-candles-on-his-cake-sources-say.html He huffed and He puffed, but Jesus was no match for the 2,014 candles flickering atop His birthday cake last month, according to reports from Heaven. Tue, 02 Dec 2014 09:11:42 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-new-cosby-show-pilot.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-new-cosby-show-pilot.html Theo needs help with his homework... Mon, 17 Nov 2014 00:36:38 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/sell-it-off-taylor-swifts-real-nyc-anthem.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/sell-it-off-taylor-swifts-real-nyc-anthem.html New York City's new ambassador celebrates all the glamour that the city has to offer Sat, 15 Nov 2014 15:41:49 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/break-the-senate-photo-nsfw.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/break-the-senate-photo-nsfw.html Wed, 05 Nov 2014 14:13:02 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/bite-the-book-new-york-times-book-review-chats-with-tarzan.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/bite-the-book-new-york-times-book-review-chats-with-tarzan.html What books are currently on your night stand? Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:47:59 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/webola-the-dating-site-for-ebola-patients.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/webola-the-dating-site-for-ebola-patients.html VIDEO: Life sucks, then you meet someone, then you die Tue, 04 Nov 2014 11:12:48 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/mr-ebola-expert-answers-your-questions.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/mr-ebola-expert-answers-your-questions.html Q. I’m a New Yorker and I’m afraid. Can I get ebola from the L train? Mon, 27 Oct 2014 18:36:19 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/nobel-committee-nicely-asks-obama-to-return-peace-prize…-again.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/nobel-committee-nicely-asks-obama-to-return-peace-prize…-again.html The Nobel Peace Prize Committee has twice asked President Obama through diplomatic channels to return his Peace Prize. Now they’re asking “one last time” and there’s nothing diplomatic about it. Wed, 01 Oct 2014 21:58:49 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/elderly-primate-confesses-to-starting-aids-encourages-ebola-culprit-to-follow-suit.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/elderly-primate-confesses-to-starting-aids-encourages-ebola-culprit-to-follow-suit.html Life seems simple enough for seventy-five year old Carl Pressman. He resides in the luscious tropics of South Africa and spends his days smoking cigars and sporting designer fedoras... Thu, 09 Jan 2014 09:04:36 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-final-word-inside-barack-obama.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-final-word-inside-barack-obama.html Did you know it's cold, Rand Paul is nuts & President Obama is like Llewyn Davis? Wed, 16 Sep 2015 15:57:26 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-new-republicans.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-new-republicans.html The following message is brought to you by, "The Republican Effort to Totally Revamp Ourselves" or... RETRO. Fri, 13 Dec 2013 08:38:13 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-final-word-the-first-hand-speaks.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-final-word-the-first-hand-speaks.html After shaking Raul Castro's hand at Mandela's funeral, President Obama's hand explains itself. Wed, 04 Dec 2013 20:48:32 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-final-word-prime-suspect.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-final-word-prime-suspect.html President Obama addresses the most important piece of news from this past week. Wed, 27 Nov 2013 08:55:27 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-final-word-obamas-holiday-address.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-final-word-obamas-holiday-address.html The President shares the honorable history of Black Friday. Tue, 19 Nov 2013 10:01:23 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/freedom-sponsored-by-koch-industries.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/freedom-sponsored-by-koch-industries.html We at Koch Industries wanted to know what freedom means. So we got opinions from the people who matter the most: Ordinary Americans. Tue, 12 Nov 2013 20:11:27 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/60-sorries-with-lara-logan.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/60-sorries-with-lara-logan.html The Final Word: 60 Sorries with Lara Logan Thu, 26 Mar 2015 10:57:18 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/ted-cruz-is-he-crazy-or-is-he-insane.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/ted-cruz-is-he-crazy-or-is-he-insane.html Tue, 05 Nov 2013 20:58:23 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/ken-burns-the-republican-civil-war.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/ken-burns-the-republican-civil-war.html Coming soon from the acclaimed filmmaker: The story of a conflict that would have seared men's souls... if anybody involved had them. "The Republican Civil War" Wed, 09 Oct 2013 18:18:57 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/obama-on-the-government-shutdown.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/obama-on-the-government-shutdown.html The Final Word: President Obama On The Government Shutdown Tue, 12 Nov 2013 20:31:22 EST http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/video-channel.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/video-channel.html Wed, 02 Oct 2013 07:54:50 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-final-word-obama-calls-iran.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-final-word-obama-calls-iran.html President Obama grabs his iPhone & dials up Iranian President Rouhani. Listen in. Sat, 28 Sep 2013 15:00:16 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/our-first-album.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/our-first-album.html Mon, 23 Sep 2013 07:58:13 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-final-word-wayne-lapierre-has-a-dream.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-final-word-wayne-lapierre-has-a-dream.html In the wake of the mass shooting at (insert location here), NRA chief Wayne LaPierre offers an emotional address to a desperate nation. Tue, 24 Sep 2013 22:35:01 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/but-syriasly-obama-on-syria.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/but-syriasly-obama-on-syria.html The Final Edition presents The Final Word: President Obama's Thoughts on Syria Thu, 05 Sep 2013 13:23:21 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/no-but-syriaslyobama-on-syria-part-2.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/no-but-syriaslyobama-on-syria-part-2.html The Final Edition presents The Final Word: President Obama's Second Thoughts on Syria Mon, 05 Sep 2016 08:12:52 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/happy-management-day-america.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/happy-management-day-america.html Hey America, know how you're always moaning about the decline of the middle class, obscene income inequality, stagnant wages, jobs being outsourced to Asia, no paid vacation or sick days and how you're getting bankrupted by health care costs? Why is that? Tue, 20 Aug 2013 08:06:35 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-brilliant-bug-of-carnegie-hall.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-brilliant-bug-of-carnegie-hall.html A charming fable about how the core American values of inventiveness and stick-to-it-iveness are rewarded. Thu, 15 Aug 2013 18:52:31 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/the-quiet-thoughtful-lottery-winner-who-bought-the-new-york-times.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/the-quiet-thoughtful-lottery-winner-who-bought-the-new-york-times.html Three years ago, Tony Ditmar, a 36-year-old postal worker from Milwaukee, won $650 million in the Powerball lottery, the highest amount ever reaped by an individual. Yesterday, Ditmar busted out really big, announcing that he had purchased The New York Times. Tue, 06 Aug 2013 12:16:17 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/tfe-exclusive-first-interview-with-royal-baby-george-alexander-louis.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/tfe-exclusive-first-interview-with-royal-baby-george-alexander-louis.html The Royal Baby, George Alexander Louis, has already caused a stir usually reserved for a new Oasis CD. The Once and Future King was only hours old, yet miraculously developed the power of speech, which he retained for a short time. Mon, 13 Aug 2012 20:51:29 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/romney-picks-ryan.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/romney-picks-ryan.html Tue, 14 Aug 2012 16:29:58 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/gbtv-greenlights-glee-alternative-creationists-club.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/gbtv-greenlights-glee-alternative-creationists-club.html Bowing to the overwhelming public pressure of no one, Glenn Beck Television has given the green light to production of an alternative to the hit show Glee. Mon, 13 Aug 2012 20:00:44 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/bloody-olympics.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/bloody-olympics.html The 2012 London Olympics just concluded in the East End of London and a lot of London's Cockneys still aren't feeling too patriotic about them. Thu, 12 Jul 2012 12:00:58 EDT http://www.thefinaledition.com/article/tfe-parodies-this-american-life.html http://www.thefinaledition/article/tfe-parodies-this-american-life.html The Final Edition Radio Hour invites you to take a listen as Brooklyn hipsters explore modern commerce through social networking, urban tribalism, and suspicious fires.