Mad Duck a l’Orange

In light of the Imperial Mad Duck, Mallard Hussein Penandphone, redistributing his final bread crumbs to his ecoterrorist paymasters, drug running race comrades, and Islamonazi aligned Gitmo detainees, I can’t help but wonder – where is Trump?

Per the script, The Mad Mallard dumps these controversial measures off as he starts yet another multimillion dollar vacation at taxpayer expense. Who runs up another $5MM vacation in their last month?

This asshole. That’s who.

Give him no rest. Make him respond from the golf course all day. Every day.

The unconstitutional maneuverings of this usurper, in what people are mistakenly thinking are his final days, demands action if not at the very least some public repudiation.

The current regime is saying “nice doggie” to your face while they’re putting antifreeze in your food.

In the spirit of comity, let’s get some shit straight with the rafting Democraps floating along with these last minute power grabs most fowl:

1). The Arctic/Atlantic “Permanent” Drilling Ban. Who doesn’t enjoy invoking a Jim Crow era law to take away energy security for our country and economic security for those who live there. I mean besides The Washington Post.

Recommended Action: Trump speaks in front of a map of these “permanently” prohibited areas for what he’s going to name the Malia and Sasha Petroleum Initiative. We’ll provide the Barry Soetero Tax Reprieve Deal (or BASTARD for short) to encourage drilling in those areas so deep that Gaia will be walking funny for the next century.

2). Pardon and Commutation Reform. This process is being abused for economic gain. The latest Obamabrag is that, so far, he’s commuted the sentences of ten times the number of the last eight presidents combined. *slow golf clap*. Congratulations on sending violent, big time drug dealers back into their already impoverished and defenseless communities.

These are not people sentenced harshly for having a little crack instead of powdered cocaine. These are people convicted of running 500 grams up to many kilos in addition to dozens more for gun charges. Thanks Mr. Sandy Hook changed the conversation. Presumably, the drug charges provided longer mandatory sentencing than assaults, attempted murder, etc. Portraying these as low level drug offenders is a bald faced lie.

Recommended Action: Prescribe a finite number of pardons and commutations per Presidential term and with limited Congressional overview. After a certain number, say 30% of Congress must consent. If someone commits a crime after release, then those that voted for it are exposed to civil liability from the victims as well as ethics investigations or being censured for negligence.

Better still, in continuing the Mad Mallard’s creative practice of his legal alchemists seeing a theoretical inch in an old law and feeling high confidence that they can take a mile, make this liability ex post facto to December 1, 2016.

It’s just a little ex post facto. We can get a legal opinion that may not be upheld in the Supreme Court in a few years too.

3) Hurrying to Release More Gitmo detainees to terror sponsoring countries.

This will not be permitted. They don’t turn into pumpkins in 4 weeks do they?

Recommended Action: Trump should order the guards, under The Office of The President-elect that Obama quasi created, not to release anyone under threat of court martial. Unless Mad Duck wants to court martial those refusing orders until Jan. 20th, let it be known that the incoming President has a legal opinion that these transfers are illegal and that more time is needed to review these arrangements.

This is my short holiday list and these are not ordinary times. If Obama wants to set the world on fire in his last month, burn his legacy down in front of him and have his party lock arms and cosign his treason.

They’re already at war. When will our side decide to respond accordingly and forego all of this highly overrated Be Gracious And Wait Your Turn bullshit?

My President Be White Again

Serial race huckster Tenisha Coates finally published his rearview hagiography of Obama that was mostly written before he took office.

All across Liberal America, the pinot is breathing in rapt anticipation of a long bubble bath of white guilt. The latter day Bernsteins and Premingers mau-mauing the flak catchers.

I’ll save you the disingenous, 10,000 word treatise:

Obama is still the Lightbringer and his greatest mistake was not understanding how racist Amerikkka is.

Brevity may be the soul of wit but not the soulbrother.

In many ways, Coates is the Obama of the opinion commentariat in that he’s a hack getting by very well on his skin color and that you’re not allowed to criticize him.

Now, that I encapsulated Coates’ reflections so succinctly, won’t someone underwrite my $2MM New York brownstone?

Less the $400k black privilege fee Coates added after living there for one month when he suddenly realized White Amerikkka won’t let a black man have nuffin nice.

Morning Joe Republicanism Gone Wild

Romney for State? Nikki Haley for the UN? Harold Fucking Ford Jr. as Transportation Secretary???

Harold Ford. Really? The fucking Ford Crime Family elevated to their highest national position. The Clinton’s idea of who the next Obama was going to be before he lost to milquetoast Bob Corker whose name, inexplicably, keeps getting mentioned as well.

One of MSNBC’s most loyal Clintonistas who, after losing his Senate bid to Corker, flipped Tennessee off, called everybody racists and bigots for not voting for him, and absconded to Merrill Lynch and Morgan Stanley in New York with his snowflake bride. Never seen since.

But he eats lunch with Jared Kushner so fuck the rest of it right? The only Transportation Harold Ford understands is calling his limo driver.

What in the shit is going on here.

Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?

Ted Cruz was allegedly beholden to Goldman Sachs because of his wife but Steve Bannon isn’t? His picks for Treasury Secretary who worked there aren’t?

What does Ben Carson know about Housing and Urban Development?

Give me a fucking break.

You take away the Mattis and Sessions picks and everything else is a clusterfuck of Democrats and Liberal Republicans.

I know some people are still rolling around in the wet spot of an electoral college win – feels good doesn’t it – but anyone with even an inkling of credibility left should be questioning these moves.

Just kidding. It’s just Trump playing 3-D chess or something. Friends close, enemies closer, blah, blah, blah.

You want a loyal Clintonist over your $1,000,000,000,000.00 infrastructure initiative?

Sycophancy is in this year though. Trump said what he needed to in order to squeak out a win and he’s fucking conservatives over before Thanksgiving.

Hillary’s been through enough, dontchaknow? That wall’s going from 50 feet high and concrete to 5 feet tall and made up of mauve cubicle partitions pretty damn quick.

If Lispy Graham can keep his assless chaps from jingling, it’s only matter of time before Trump nominates him to Secretary of the Navy.

The Blood and Semen On Nashville’s Hands

No, this isn’t about the Vaseline Alley that Church Street has become. Although it’s easy to see how you jumped to that conclusion.

Shame on you.

I hope the recent declaration by the sanctuary city of Minneapolis’ Mayor stating that she intends to nullify our nation’s immigration laws will be the first in a long line of liberal dystopias to have their federal funding revoked.

“I will continue to stand by immigrants in Minneapolis. For years, Minneapolis has codified in ordinance that our police officers will not do the work of the Federal government and ICE regarding immigration status. If police officers were to do the work of ICE it would harm our ability to keep people safe and solve crimes.

Crimes? What crimes? You saying immigrants commit crimes?

The Mayor may think she can unilaterally secede from the union but Fort Sumter Dems flying their confederate flag again isn’t any less treasonous when it’s in Minneapolis.

Perhaps Sheriff Arpaio can replicate Sherman’s March to The Sea by becoming head of US Customs and Border Protection. Burn a clear path from South Dakota to the Great Lakes.

Which brings me home. Nashville is an unrepentant sanctuary city as well. In the midst of a construction boom, local developers openly flaunt immigration laws because it has been encouraged by the Nashville city government for the past three administrations.

$3000 per month crackerbox apartments from 12South to the edge of the county teeming with illegals on every jobsite, jaywalking across busy streets on their way to the site, and so on.

Hospitals, Vanderbilt University, luxury high rises, all being built with illegal labor driving down wages for US citizens and then, adding insult to injury, the government gives legal protections to foreign nationals because of all they’ve done for their major campaign contributors.

This place went from “it” city to shit city so quickly that you’d have to work in the media to have missed it.

Nashville and the surrounding counties are inundated with tens of thousands of illegals.

Any random search of people arrested in the last 24 hours will show a significant number of people who likely should not even be in the country.

They are intentionally booked in as “white” males or females so the numbers cannot be tracked and, of course, when they make the evening news their immigration status won’t be mentioned.

And I mention this because of two recent high profile cases.

The first was about two months ago. A young tourist from California was hunted down and killed like an animal in downtown Nashville several hours after arriving. Directly in front of our new $300MM convention center and less than three blocks from the downtown police station.

The illegals who stalked him and shot him dead in the street quickly fled to the sanctuary state of North Carolina where 2 of 3 were apprehended.

Of course, Mayor Megan Barry (who has consistently shown that the job of Mayor is mainly ceremonial), was quick to thank police and the illegal alien community for both causing and catching the murderers:

“I want to thank Detective Ashworth and the other detectives who worked so hard and so carefully to identify and find the suspects in this terrible crime,” Mayor Megan Barry said. “I know a number of tips were received over the past few weeks, which shows just how important strong relationships between our Police Department and the community are to public safety.”

And “the community”. Thanks to some of you illegals with a conscience.

In the second case, a Nashville nanny was violently raped in a popular public park in broad daylight while watching two children:

She described how a man, sitting in a running car, was staring at her, and how he later approached her as she tended to 3-year-old twins. She wasn’t scared, she said, until he grabbed her.

“He covered my mouth and threw me to the ground,” she said. She told the children to leave. The man twice assaulted her on the ground, she said, and then left with her iPhone.

As Mr. Trump aptly stated, “Some of them are rapists”.

This guy is one of those. And this was completely preventable.

When Assistant District Attorney General Jenny Charles on Thursday asked the woman if she recognized the attacker, she pointed her right hand at Dennis N. Ramos-Montes. Ramos-Montes, 26, sat in the courtroom in a yellow jail uniform, his head down toward his lap, listening to a woman interpreting the hearing into Spanish. Police say he is a native of Honduras.

There is blood and semen on Megan Barry’s hands. Karl Dean’s hands. The Nashville Scene. The Tennessean. All the networks.

They’ve encouraged it and then cover it up. “Native of Honduras” is cryptoamnesty speak for illegal alien rapist.

If they won’t enforce the laws? Cut their federal funding and prosecute them.

Maybe being forced to speak to the actual victims of the lawlessness they’ve benefited from will open their liberal minds. If not, close the federal purse and open the federal prison.

Mexico Prepares For Post-Election “Migrant” Surge?

Asking for an amigo.

The Mexican foreign ministry is planning on helping a surge of “undocumented migrants” following the democratic result of the US election asserting our right to our borders and national sovereignty.

If these migrants are “undocumented”, it is Mexico’s failure to provide that paperwork.

Ruiz Massieu urged diplomats to get ready for a possible surge in consular assistance.

This includes help “avoiding provocations, as well as protecting against fraud,” the Foreign Ministry statement said, referring to the potential for crime rings to prey on migrants by selling fake documents, for example.

The Mexican foreign ministry is suddenly concerned about Mexican crime rings, eh? Such racism.

In reality, this is not a wave of undocumented migrants. It is a repatriation of their country’s own citizens. Words matter.

We’re supposed to provide a support network for the flaming bags of shit you lit and threw on our doorsteps but taking back your own citizens is a real hassle.

Advising mothers to put their 5 year olds on tops of moving trains and your government putting together directions on how much water they need to take and where are the best illegal crosspoints, and how to apply for welfare in our country are not the actions of an ally.

So, yes. Do document your own citizens when they return. They’ve been murdering, raping, and defrauding ours for far too long.

Pointy Toothed Savage Fareed Zakaria “Reflects”

Noted plagiarist and possible Ferengi interloper Fareed Zakaria feints to “reflection” in his little watched CNN show this Sunday morning.

The Hate America Leftist attempts to elite-splain how he could have been so wrong about the election results. His preconceived notions are predictably as patronizing as they are elitist:

But first here’s my check for those of us who oppose Donald Trump the response Tuesday’s vote could be anger or honest reflection.

Spoiler alert: That’s the feint.

And I am not by Nature an angry person so I’ll try the latter. Donald Trump remade the political map with a huge surge of support from working class whites particularly in rural communities. Let me be honest.

This is a world that I don’t know and many people probably don’t know very well and that’s part of the problem.

That would be “many people” with the minor exception of the people who won the election last week. Simultaneously he runs a scroll at the bottom that says Fareed’s Take: instead of anger over Trump Victory I will try reflection.

We have all managed to ignore Rural America and the pain of economic hardship and social dislocation it has faced over the last few decades.

Of course when Fareed says “we”, he means our betters. The Coastal elitists, such as himself, who thanks to their Advanced intellect have risen to cities like New York and Los Angeles in a meritocracy and that anyone who does not live in those cities is an inbred, uneducated hillbilly who we should not mock but rather explain to them how the world works through a sophisticated system of grunts and groans and possibly coloring books.

The big divide in America today is urban vs rural. There is an essay on the satirical website Cracked.com by David Wong who grew up in a small town in Illinois and it gives voice to the rage of rural Americans (titled “How Half of America lost its Fucking Mind“.

The whole goddamned world revolves around America’s cities.

Most new movies, songs, games are about NY, LA, or Chicago or some fantasy version of them. All the hot, new indistries are in hip cities.

If you live in rural America, that fucking sucks.

To those who ignored suffering people (flashes image on screen of homes destroyed by hurricane or tornado), Donald Trump is a brick chucked through the window of the elites.

Are you assholes listening now?

To which Zakaria hilariously responds, “We are”. This was the closest Zakaria came to introspection in his little soliloquy.

Now comes the condescending, patronizing rationale where, “let’s not judge” but rather elitist-splain how we got to this point.

Over the last three or four decades, America has sorted itself into a highly effecient meritocracy.

What lurks behind his dead, black eyes is unadulterated evil and he would easily support someone else to ethnically cleanse you if he could.

Where people from all walks of life can move up the ladder of achievement and income – usually ending up in cities.

It’s a better way than using race or gender or bloodlines as a path to wealth and power but it does create it’s own problems.

Such as smelling your own farts, hypnotizing navels of unfathomable depths, and Costs of Living that make what you could live on like a King in rural America will only rent you an 800 square foot crackerbox in some shit ass borough on top of several million other of your highy enlightened fellow meritocrats.

*CNN scroll: We’re listening now, Rural America!*

You say you’re listening but I have my suspicions that you’re still not.

As with any system, there will be people who don’t ascend to the top.

And because it’s a meritocracy, it’s easy to believe this is justified.

That they deserve it.

A meritocracy can be blind to the fact that some people don’t make it because they were unlucky or up against tough odds.

So, you see, because we’re better than you (/Because Merit) I hope you understand why we feel this smug sense of superiority over you. Somewhat coincidentally, the word “meritocracy” was thrown around a lot by David Brooks on Meet the Depressed this morning as well.

From the streetsweeper, to the plumber, to some office drone, the cabbie, or the guy who cooks food on the street. Better than you cousin fucking rubes in every way.

Because Ascendancy of Merit!

More profoundly, it can be morally blind.

Even those who score poorly on tests, or have bad work habits are human beings.

Unpack that one for a second. Assuming you scored high enough on a test to read and aren’t so lazy that you’d bother.

People in rural America just don’t work as hard as that straphanger riding a filthy, crime ridden subway to their cubicle.

You’re a human being too! Thanks for the reminder. And you’re welcome.

Deserving of attention and respect.

Same as any institutionalized mental invalid I suppose.

The Republicans great success in Rural communities has been that even though they often advocate economic policies that would not help these people, indeed, policies that often hurt them, they demonstrate respect by identifying with them culturally, religiously, emotionally.

Fools! They are just using you. As opposed to Democrats who revel in optimistic statistics that your kind will become a minority and die off soon. So you bitterly cling and they don’t need your vote.

So, the Great Sin of the Modern Left is elitism.

There is also another sin that was also highlighted this election: Racism.

I know this makes many uncomfortable but hear me out.

As if you haven’t heard the Modern Left’s talking points before.

Noncollege grad whites voted Trump. We’re smarter than you bigots

What percent of noncollege grad blacks or immigrants for third world socialist shitholes vote Democrat? Not worth mentioning.

CNN Scroll: How the election shined a light on American racism.

He wraps it all up with a tire necklace of bigotry around the necks of anyone who didn’t support the raw corruption of the Clinton Crime Family.

Frankly, I’m surprised if Zakaria can even see his reflection in a mirror.

This entire segment was utterly without merit save an interview with James Woolsey where he spanked Zakaria’s ass blood red over his views on the Iran deal.

100,000 People Forced At Gunpoint To Buy Unaffordable, Catastrophic Health Insurance

JournOList 2.0 continues unabated.

After a stunning defeat on Tuesday, the partisan Unimedia all decided this morning that 100,000 people forced to sign up during the open enrollment period for Obamacare, under threat of fine or imprisonment seizure of a nonexistent tax refund, is what a stunning success looks like.

To counter this propaganda, I ask that everyone who wants to repeal this law to drive with their headlights on tonight.

Time To Slow The EPA’s Roll

Gina McCarthy, Head Angry Lesbian at the EPA, plans on ramming a few billion more dollars in illegally instituted regulations before January.

I think it’s time for this Tyrant’s Apprentice to hear those magic words – You’re Fired:

“As I’ve mentioned to you before, we’re running — not walking — through the finish line of President Obama’s presidency,” EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy said in a staff memo obtained by the Washington Examiner after Trump was declared the winner of Tuesday’s election.

It’s kind of like watching the end of Killing Zoe where the gang successfully takes over the bank but has no plan to get away with the crime.

Perhaps teargassing the entire agency will raise awareness of the climate change that’s about to send each of them to the back of an unemployment line.

The Clean Power Plan itself is currently under court review after being temporarily stayed by the Supreme Court on Feb. 9 until all judicial review has concluded. Over half the nation is opposing the climate rules along with major industry groups and the coal industry. Trump has made repealing the EPA climate plan a key part of his first 100 days in office.

Before Obama took office, he demanded thst Congress pass and that Bush sign the original stimulus plan.

I see no reason why Trump can’t say “Nice doggie” to these rabid bitches and reference the existing court stay with the threat of beating their brains out with the biggest stick he can find.

Try to write one more regulation and you will be fired imediately on January 20th.

That seems fair. And then fire them anyway. They have unemployed millions on purpose and are void of human decency. Lois Lerners with green thumbs.

Better yet. Request a meeting with McCarthy and threaten to abolish it altogether for what she’s done.

You think you’re pulling a fast one on me? You are about to be the end of the agency you love.

Better still, show up unannounced at the agency and introduce yourself.

I just wanted to drop off some replacement pictures for the walls.

Sometimes the situation warrants a personal touch. Threaten to withhold their final paychecks and bring contempt charges along with revoking pensions for failing to comply with the court stay.

And again, do it anyway after January 20th. Lawlessness of public servants must be punished and threat of personal liability is the only thing that will curb it.

Democracy Came With A Trigger Warning Built In

A gentle reminder for our totalitarian wannabe snowflakes.

Our Constitution enshrined the original trigger warning against all future tyrants.

I demand the outgoing President to order his violent rent-a-mobs to cease and desist their terroristic threats immediately lest we start pulling it.

You “protesting” doesn’t include vandalizing property, impromptu interstate shutdowns, or assaulting people with more valid, better informed opinions than yours.

Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures. Since I’m all about solutions and bipartisan compromise, when Trump visits Obama he should agree to fix Syria by implementing Charlie Rangel’s “bring back the draft” bill and fill it with the permanent child soldiers in America’s undergraduate college system.

We all saw that terrible picture of the dead boy from Aleppo. It’s time America’s Movember beard sporting, GSA loan backed, bedwetting, college know-it-alls got some of their tattooed skin in the game.

You want to fight an injustice you say you supported? I know just the place.

Come on, guys cisgenders. You’ll get more SJW poon or mangina than you can shake your selfie stick at once you’ve established Operation: Safe Space in Raqqa.

The Dog Ate My Concession Speech

And then Obama ate my dog.

I mean really.

Hillary bitched out of facing her supporters at 3am and sent out Pedosta to give his Never Say Die speech before her crowd of misfit he/she/its.

She didn’t go out because she never wrote a concession speech. Either that or she’s just a weak woman who couldn’t stand up to the pressure of the moment.

It’s almost noon the day after and she’s stll getting her pneumonia treatments or entering Witness Protection.

Waddle out and face the music like a man.

The KKK Tealaban Russian sockpuppets demand it you haughty cunt.

Bye, Felicia Update: The text of her final Act of Cuntrition.

The Longest Night

I was up until 3 this morning and have some wonderful recordings of shaken tv news anchors and Hillary supporters in tears that will entertain me for years to come.

Michael Gerson, I’m looking at you.

To my chagrin, and to the country’s benefit, Trump was magnanimous in victory. Had I my way, he would have walked up to the podium and pulled out a copy of last Saturday’s Newsweek with its arrogant Madam President cover and recreated the iconic Dewey Defeats Truman moment.

Then, he would have just smiled. Reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a pen. Then into his pants pocket and pulled out his phone. Wave them in the media’s face and said, “How does this sound now, you rotten motherfuckers?”

Of course, that’s not what happened. Even though they deserve it.

The media jumped to their usual script about how now the onus lies with Trump to heal an America thoroughly divided by him in their eyes. Not one divided by eight years of the Democrats’ non-stop identity politics and steroidal political correctness with the help of a highly partisan leftwing media that never found a bar too low to slither under or an objective pretense they didn’t wipe their asses on.

The fact is that 50 million Americans (living and dead) and untold numbers of illegal aliens saw a woman – the most hated and uncharismatic public figure in a generation – who has a potentially life threatening health problem, zero accomplishments, a record of diplomatic failure spanning the globe, a 40 year track record of being a conniving, lying, hateful corruptocrat who used the government to persecute her political enemies, spit on our military, and who endangered our national security for illegal campaign contributions and they voted for her anyway.

If you took away Carlos Danger’s laptop and penchant for pedophilia, she would be President right now. And that is utterly terrifying to have come so close to the abyss by a million votes.

I’ll quote what Rachel Maddow said about our side’s voters early this morning: “We can’t just hope they’ll all be dead in 10 years”.

Same to you, bitch.

Now we go onto the next phase. The one where John McCain, Lispy Graham, Paul Ryan, Bob Corker, Lamar Alexander, and Kelly Ayotte preemptively surrender a hard fought Senate majority to Democrats so that MSNBC will portray them as Reasonable Republicans ™.

In which case, delenda est The Republican Party. And take the Bush family with you.

What’s It All Mean?

I am baffled by those trying to mine for existential meaning in the unwavering support for Trump by his supporters.

Do they believe everything he says? What’s does it say about conservatism or the future of the Republican Party? So on and so forth.

Support for Trump is no more than a vote of No Confidence in the Republican Party and our government in general.

If Trump loses, he’s going back to his empire. No sweat. The Republican Party will retaliate against his supporters and spiral further into irrelevance as they will attribute the loss to not being liberal enough.

No Confidence is justified. But there is no fallback, no succession plan, and no future for the Republican Party in a loss.

The election of a degenerate liar and traitor like Clinton will make the Trump rallies of this last year seem like high tea time in the rearview mirror.

A broken system incapable of policing itself or managing its most basic functions. Where the lawless are rewarded and the decent rubes are shat upon.

A people without representation will get attention through a more revolutionary means than the Trump safety valve next time.

The Closing Debate Speech I Wish I Heard

These debates don’t make anyone but they can certainly break them. After a slugfest in Round 2, Round 3 ended in a decision that leaned to Clinton.

She’s a liar without question. A very well rehearsed one who makes her wrong point, sticks a cheap shot in, and gets out. Trump meanders.

When Wallace gave them each a final minute to make their case to a national audience, Trump wasn’t bad. It wasn’t on the fly. But it also didn’t give an overarching theme to his historic candidacy.

This was a Shining City On The Hill / Morning In America Moment and it got lost in topicality. It should have been crafted.

However, a powerful, savvy nationwide ad series could still be made and run to win fencesitters. And I think it would go like this:

My Fellow Americans,

This last year of my life has been one of the most fulfilling and frustrating that it has been my pleasure to endeavour.

Prior to running for The Office of The Presidency, a lot of my time has been spent between the coasts. But when I announced my candidacy, I knew it would run through the heartland of this country. Through the towns wrecked by regulations and listening to the people left voiceless by a government that seems to want to represent everyone else in the world except them.

At rally after rally, I looked into the eyes and spoke to The Forgotten Americans. The ones who go to work every day. Raise their kids. Go to church. People trying to do the right thing.

Every election they vote and every election the people they sent to Washington ignore them, ridicule them, and betray them with broken promises.

They’ve watched as the government sworn to defend them has invited an invasion from all over the world. Spent trillions overseas on farflung adventures where our interests are neither explained or counsel sought. And all of our self-described betters have left the world in a very dangerous place.

As our veterans die waiting in lines at the VA, career public servants become hundred millionaires.

This is not the way it was supposed to be.

Washington, DC holds the average American in contempt. They may be through with us, but by God we are not through with them.

I stand here today pledging my life, fortune, and honor to make this country great again. To bring accountability back to Washington for the first time in a generation.

I ask for your vote. On the 8th of November, make them remember. They work for all of us. And I pledge to fight for every one of you. On the 8th of November, make them remember.

You Really Want To Go Nuclear?

There is a perfect counterpunch waiting for Hillary’s constant carping about Trump having his paws on the nuclear codes.

He should say that all of the rogue regimes in the world should fear the US, but the only people I have plans to go nuclear on are the Clintons.

And when I’m done, they’ll be so radioactive that they will be glowing in the dark.

Quite a departure since usually if we want them to glow then we need to put Bill under a UV light during a sexual harassment lawsuit.

UT’s Miracle Between The Hedges (Hail Mary Answered in UT vs. UGA)

Why so serious?

With 10 seconds left in the 4th quarter, UGA received an unsportsmanlike penalty for celebrating a go ahead touchdown that stabs the Vol Nation in the heart. If only Dobbs and Co. had been able to get one first down before having to punt the ball with a little over a minute left and a four point lead. If only a corner hadn’t hesitated before getting burned on a go route down the sideline. If only the safety had pickup the coverage and tried to jump the route.

If only everything.

The cameras panned hoping to find somebody crying or dejected. Hands cupped over their mouths. Girlfriends looking to boyfriends. Boyfriends texting on their cellphones.

The stadium roared and the fans were jumping up and down. We did it again!!!

The announcers laughed and chortled. As if waiting 15 years for this moment, CBS starts playing the video and “legendary” Larry Munson’s commentary from UGA’s 26-24 last play victory, the Hobnail Boot, over UT from 2001.

Larry Munson: We just stepped on their face with a hobnail boot and broke their nose. We just crushed their face.

Until, one of the greatest final plays and improbable final 10 seconds in college football history happened.

Ah yes, the hobnail boot. The boot appears to be crushing the other face this year. Stay classy, ya’ll.

Luck doesn’t last forever but you have to still be hanging around for luck to happen. Way to go guys.

UGA played with a lot of heart and left it all out on the field though. We’ll pour a little moonshine off the back porch for our friends to the south.

UTK Law School Begins Painful Rebuilding Process

Dean Melanie Wilson, of the formerly reputable University of Tennessee College of Law, finalized appropriations and capex outlays today to “rebuild” parts of the campus reduced to rubble following last week’s Unauthorized Use of Free Speech by a tenured professor at the school.

Following Professor Glenn Reynolds’s tweet and my public response last week, I began an investigation that included an examination of the facts, policies in the university’s Faculty Handbook, and the law. I discussed the situation with Professor Reynolds, university leadership, and General Counsel. I also sought feedback from College of Law students, staff, faculty, the Alumni Council and Dean’s Circle, and other UT Law alumni. As a lawyer and a law school dean, I know that gathering information and upholding the principles of due process are absolutely necessary in a situation like this.

For those unfamiliar, this rigorous investigation and application of “due process” was in response to a three word tweet affirming the right of self defense against a murderous, racist mob.

This is why they pay you the big bucks, Mel. So you can teach the chirrens how your emphasis on prosecutorial ethics can be corrupted by leftwing SJW politics.

But will the student body ever rise up and rebel against the tyranny of cliches?

We will now move forward to rebuild our law school community and refocus on our primary purpose: educating future lawyers and leaders.

Was the law school community torn asunder? Did someone not get affirmative consent before sticking the hard cock of free speech in your tight, little safe space?

Grow the fuck up. The campus clinic is open to 4:30 daily in case you need an ice pack for your aching butthurt. It seems your prophylactic administration has already wrapped your precious community in enough free rubbers to prevent their infection from any ideologically transmitted diseases.

What The Hell Did I Just Watch?

Well, that was disappointing. Be honest. For anyone who is DVRing the Presidential Debate and doesn’t want their independent judgment polluted with my observations, the door is the little back arrow on your browser.

For those pressed for time, Hillary won it. Not that it matters. And not that it was by much. If you’re a Trump supporter, you still support him. If you’re a Hillary supporter, you still support her. No one mortally wounded themselves. Lester Holt leaned towards Clinton in that he didn’t go after her on anything and did on a couple of pointed questions to Trump.

I keep hearing the first round of people saying Trump wasn’t prepared. I think anyone who watches this should arrive at the opposite conclusion. He looked like someone who was overprepared and because of that did not act like himself. Someone belt fed him information for the last week and he looked like someone struggling to remember what somebody told him was a good talking point but instead kept reverting to repetitious generalities.

Clinton, far too often, was able to get him on the defensive by talking about him personally or about his business practices. He couldn’t not move on and felt the need to get mired in the minutiae of his tax statements, financial disclosures, how he settled lawsuits from forty years ago, how he didn’t discriminate in hiring people at his Palm Beach resort, etc., etc. which played right into her wrinkly hands.

On far too many occasions, she lobbed big fat softballs right across homeplate and he sat staring because he was too busy trying to defend some previous accusation. Whether it was about charitable contributions, whether he was for the Iraq War, “healing the racial divide”, or a half dozen other questions – Trump came up short. Hillary stuck her glass jaw out on everything from trade deals, the Iran deal, taxing “the rich”, revoking gun rights over the terrorist watchlist, or how Trump treats women – he just didn’t fight it. In fact, he agreed with her on a couple of those points.

That whole series where he kept demanding someone to call Sean Hannity about how they argued about Iraq – where he said it about ten times (not hyperbole) – was the low point. Immediately after the debate he was back in Hannity’s loving echo chamber to complain. That’s not the sign of someone who won.

I’m wanting him to clean her clock and while he had a couple of good jabs there was nothing he said that rocked her much less sent her to the canvas that she is physically inclined to collapse on and have a seizure on if it’s a balmy 77 degree day. The part about releasing his tax returns when she produces the 33,000 e-mails she deleted was his high point and then he just dropped it.

She claimed she took full responsibility of the e-mail and the server which is total bullshit. Her staff plead the 5th and if Florida had half the immunity from Zika that the FBI gave her inner circle then I would be sitting on a beach right now. No one was fired. No one imprisoned. There is no taking responsibility if there are no consequences.

Too be certain, she was no peach either. Animatronic and rehearsed. Flailing about and throwing wild accusations about how he’s hiding something very, very bad in his tax returns. I fully expected him to hit her with the only charity she donated to is her own but it never happened. Or how she was “broke” in 2000 and worth $300MM by giving speeches filled with so many rhetorical rubies and diamonds that she can’t release them to the public.

Hitting her on her ritual abuse of women for the last 40 years. Never happened. Demanding to know what trade deal she put together to help Americans in her time as Secretary – Never happened. Asking her if Mitt Romney was right in 2012 about Russia now that she thinks they’re the world’s boogeyman and we need the 80s foreign policy back.

He went off on some tangent about “cyber”. You know, cybersecurity. And that his ten year old is so good with computers but that cyber is a very, very big deal that we need to be tough on. Not his best moment.

These debates likely aren’t going to change anyone’s mind who was already made up but the Donald Trump of tonight is not the guy his supporters have been used to seeing for the last year and a half. He wasn’t in command. He was defensive and completely out of his element.

So now that he’s going to be cornered, I’d expect the negative ads to start rolling out. Not a good performance. Clinton is predictable though and he needs someone to debate with who has her act down but can keep him relaxed, on point, and above it.

Cruz knows her arguments. I’m not saying to copy Cruz’s style. I am saying to bring him in for a couple of practice sessions so that the next time she gets sent to the mat early and stays down.

She had the nerve to say he called one of his beauty contestants Miss Piggy and he couldn’t bring up that she setup a warroom to destroy the lives of the women her husband raped or had affairs with for the last 30 years. Who was it who called Monica Lewinsky a stalker again? That glass chin is begging for fists of stone.

Better Late Than #NeverTrump

So, what should have happened four months ago finally happened yesterday. Cruz endorsed Trump. Trump accepted his endorsement. EverTrump/NeverCruz hates Cruz and rubs his face in it. NeverTrump/EverCruz is disappointed or having a sad about a sell-out. People in the middle are either glad this is out of the way, already gotten on board the Trump train, or decided to hold their nose because of Hillary.

Me? This is what I was holding out for.

Other than the timing, this is exactly what I said should have happened for the last few months. For all of the “art of the deal” bullshit talk, Trump found a way to nurture an acrimonious split of a not-insignificant portion of the Right’s base for the majority of the last six months.

Are those people going to forgive each other? The ones engaging in rhetorical knife fights in comments sections all over the internet since it got down to two candidates? I’m skeptical.

Thanks are due to Mike Pence for hammering out whatever peace there was to be made several weeks ago. That’s what he’s there for. To bury the hatchet with someone his boss lied about with relish for months on end. Who couldn’t be bought off with chicken nuggets like Mike Huckabee or plane rides and endless hors d’oeuvres like The Goodyear Christie?

An apology would do. A promise to consult on issues of importance.

Now that the marriage is complete – how do you consummate it? Hopefully by christening a champagne bottle across Hillary’s face and fucking The Left silly by taking out our pen and phone after November 8th to erase and mark through every illegal action, alphabet soup agency written law, signing statement, and Treaty-Not-Really-A-Treaty that the traitors have been running wild with since 2008.

And then prosecuting them until they’re destitute, incarcerated, or commit suicide. I’m good with all three though I do have my preferences.