Shake off the week of bad customers… with even more bad customers! Find for your reading pleasure below, a roundup of the most popular stories of the last week (December 19th – December 25th 2016)!
See more roundups here! Don’t forget to check out this week’s comic!
(I am working at a crafts store during the holiday season. Note: this occurrs in late October, when the Halloween, Thanksgiving, and general fall items get marked to clearance and we start putting the winter, Christmas, and Hanukkah items out.)
Me: *stocking the endless wall of ornaments in the front*
Customer: *storms up to me and, quite loudly, demands my attention* “EXCUSE ME! Where are your Hanukkah decorations? All I see is CHRISTMAS!”
Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have a section for Hanukkah decorations, crafts, and whatnot.” *puts the ornament in my hand on the rack* “It’s over this way.”
(I lead the woman to the half-aisle that is meant to be planned for Hanukkah. Because we have just started putting out the holiday shipment, it’s only partially stocked.)
Me: “This entire area is going to be Hanukkah-related. We just started with our winter season shipment, and the entire side of the aisle will be filled soon.”
Customer: *severely offended for some reason* “HOW soon?”
Me: “Unfortunately, I can’t say. We only have three more boxes to unpack today from this Monday’s shipment. We might get more out today, or we might get more out in the upcoming week.” *It’s a Saturday* “All of our winter holiday shipment will definitely be out by the second week of November.”
Customer: *audible, overly dramatic sigh* “Well, THIS is going to be a problem! How does that help me when I’m out shopping TODAY? You people must really hate the Jews. What is this, some kind of Nazi store?!” *storms off*
Me: *just stares after her, not entirely sure what happened*
(Some time later, the woman approaches me again.)
Customer: “Where is your jewelry section? I need pendants to put on necklaces.”
Me: *not too sure I want to deal with her again* “Uh, right this way, ma’am.” *leads her to the jewelry aisles and shows her the collection of pendants we have for people to make “original” designs*
Customer: “Do you have any more in the back? None of them are crazy enough for me.”
Me: “We just finished stocking these last evening. They’re all out from the back.”
Customer: “Well, then, I guess I’ll have to go to [Competitor across the street] for a BETTER selection. What could I have expected from a Jew-hating store? Do you at least have chains?”
Me: *ends up having to go through all of the chains with her, only, of course, for none of them to be good enough* “Well, we also have larger spools of chains and clasps. That way, you can cut a chain to your liking and attach the type of closure you like.”
Customer: *scoffs* “Do I LOOK like I need to stoop to the level of someone who MAKES their own jewelry?”
(I am called up to work register while the main cashier takes her break. The woman I have been dealing with comes through to my line. She asks for the price of every single item, and argues over most of them, saying that Walmart has them cheaper. However, because Walmart is not one of our competitors and she doesn’t even have an ad, I can’t do anything about that. Soon, my “to be returned” pile is very large.)
Me: *eventually rings up all of her items* “Ma’am, that’ll be [total].”
Customer: *starts getting her wallet out*
Me: *notices the packaging of a rather expensive silver chain sticking out from underneath our store’s ad in the bottom of her cart* “Uh, ma’am, did you want that chain?”
Customer: *gives a deer in the headlights look* “What chain?!”
Me: “The one that’s sticking out from underneath the store ad in your cart. Did you want it?” *we are not allowed to accuse someone of stealing, but are instead to give “quality customer care” to discourage it*
Customer: *realizes she’s been caught and pushes the cart aside* “No! Forget it! I want NOTHING from this Nazi store!” *storms out without paying for the bagged items at the register*
Me: *calls a manager up to void the sale*
Floral Designer: *comes out from Customer Service after picking up her returns to take back* “You had to deal with that psycho, too?”
Me: “Yeah. What’d she do to you?”
Floral Designer: “She asked if we had any Hanukkah wreaths. I told her that I didn’t have any right now, but I did have blue-and-silver and blue-and-white wreaths that I could easily add some things onto, or that I could make her a custom one. Then she flipped out and said that she didn’t want any of my ‘overpriced’ wreaths and that we hated Jews because none of our factory-made wreaths were specifically Hanukkah. You know, even though I offered to MAKE one.”
Me: *tells her what I dealt with* “And to top it all off — she tried to steal from us, too.”
Floral Designer: “I seriously hope [Competitor] has even less than we do right now.”
(It is near Christmas time. At about six pm this woman comes up with her daughter who is about five years old. As I am ringing up their items an older gentleman comes in. He’s overweight with a red nose from the cold, a thick white beard, half rimmed glasses, a really old Santa hat on his head, and a red and black plaid fleece coat on. As he walks by the little girl stares at him in awe.)
Little Girl: *whispering to her mother* “Was that Santa?”
Mother: *smiling* “Well, I don’t know. It could be!”
(The little girl then looks at me for confirmation and I shrug.)
Me: “Well, we DO have a landing strip on the roof for his sleigh. Where do you think we get all of our toys from?”
(She just looked so excited as I saw the magic fill her eyes. The mother smiled at me and as they left I heard the girl say.)
Little Girl: “Can we look for the sleigh?”
Mother: “Sure!”
(It’s December 23, and we are completely slammed. I’m at the tail end of a 9 am to 7 pm shift, and am looking forward to having the next week off from school and work. An older, professional-looking lady comes through my line with a huge cartful of groceries.)
Me: “Hello! How are you today?”
Customer: “Oh, just getting my Christmas dinner shopping done! I think I’ve bought too much. It’s quite busy in here tonight, isn’t it?”
Me: “The week of Christmas always gets a little crazy in here!”
Customer: “So, do you guys have special holiday hours this week?”
Me: “Today we are open normal hours, 7 am to 10 pm. We close at 7 pm tomorrow, because it’s Christmas Eve, and are closed all day on Christmas.”
Customer: “No extended hours for Christmas?”
Me: “No, ma’am. Your total is [total], and it looks like your credit card has been approved. I just need you to sign the receipt for me, please. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”
Customer: “Well, I think you should be open longer this week. You know, for those of us who have REAL jobs and are unable to get here earlier.” *tosses the receipt at me, smirks, and marches out of the store with her overflowing cart*
(The bagger, who is working an 11-hour shift, and I stare at each other.)
Bagger: “Did she just…”
Me: “Yep. Merry Christmas to us!”
(Thankfully, management didn’t take her suggestion. 7 years and 2 post-college jobs later, and I’d still never think of talking to a retail worker like that. Note to Customer: RETAIL JOBS ARE REAL JOBS!!!)
(I am working in the service department for a retail company. We are closing early on Christmas Eve. It’s currently 45 minutes till we close and a phone call comes in.)
Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”
Caller: “Yes, I’m looking for this game, [Game]; do you have it?”
Me: *looking up the game* “Yes, we do, ma’am.”
Caller: “Great, what time do you close?”
Me: “We close in about 45 minutes.”
Caller: “I’ll be there in an hour.”
Me: “Ma’am, we close in 45 minutes. We won’t be open in an hour.”
Caller: “I’ll be there in an hour and you better be open or I’m breaking in.”
Me: “Ma’am, you have to be here before five pm or we will be closed.”
Caller: “I’m buying this game for my kid. You ruin my Christmas and I’ll ruin yours.”
Me: “Ma’am, we will be leaving at five pm to have Christmas with our families. Please be here before five. Thank you.” *hangs up*
(As the employees were leaving about 5:15 there was a woman banging on the doors and screaming obscenities about how she would ruin Christmas for everyone.)
