mamrie hartಪರಿಶೀಲಿಸಿದ ಖಾತೆ

"Your dog is made of my grandma's elbows" - @vaov coming through with my biggest LOL of the day.

"Things aren't always what they seam." - a terrible tailor. (Sorry)

I am a gold medalist in telling people off!!! * * ....in my shower and then never saying it to their face cause I'm, like, super nice.

Does the dude in front of me buying Hustler in an airport skeeze me out? Ya damn right. Do I respect his bold choices? Ya goddamn right.

Someone pretending 2 be the IRS just tried to scare me into paying $7k over the phone. I said he puts the 'aww' in 'fake audit'. He hung up.

Girl, you're so damn fly. Really? Hell yeah! I hate eating around you & you def look like you're carrying 2 million bacteria on ya body.

DC! Philly! Orlando! You're so close to getting confirmed @Dirty30Movie screening for Sept 21st. GO GO GO! http://www.dirty30movie.com 

You ever eat at a restaurant and then walk out and immediately walk into another restaurant to eat again? Yeah. Me neither.

Ya know when you gotta wait for the aisle seat to finish eating so you can go pee? This bish just cut a grape in half with a knife and fork.

I hope all of you find someone that makes you as happy as watching clips of models falling on the runway makes me.

Something tells me it's gonna be a good day when I get called out by airport security for dancing too hard to Starship at 7am.

Level of Hungover: Walked into Dunkin Donuts. Thought 'Dunkin Deez Nuts'. Stopped in my tracks & doubled over in laughter.