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@
jenspyra
NYC
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Writer for @colbertlateshow, formerly for @theonion. Robe Hound
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1,787
ಟ್ವೀಟ್ಗಳು
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985
ಹಿಂಬಾಲಿಸುತ್ತಿರುವವರು
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20,581
ಹಿಂಬಾಲಕರು
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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7 ಗಂ. |
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If we ever find out that Trump killed his father at a crossroads and that Melania is actually his mother, all this shit is going to make a lot more sense
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Sarah Schauer
@SJSchauer
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ಜುಲೈ 24,2016 |
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Walking into Taco Bell after a long night pic.twitter.com/2rm5osVmIy
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Marcia Belsky
@MarciaBelsky
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ಜುಲೈ 16 |
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Ugh can you imagine how much worse this would all be if Trump WASN’T hot
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜುಲೈ 13 |
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a bunch of grapes might be the classic choice, but if you really want to keep an orgy going you bring gatorade and pasta
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Julia Claire
@ohJuliatweets
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ಜುಲೈ 7 |
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"I love* New York**."
am*
rich**
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜುಲೈ 12 |
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You have to communicate in the bedroom. If your partner wants to say something during sex, simply have them raise their hand and call on them in a timely manner
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Dan Hopper
@DanHopp
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ಜುಲೈ 10 |
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US ON TWITTER: Bitch, I ain't need to see Mitch McConnell's eel on a job interview lookin ass face
US IN REAL LIFE: May I please have one iced water, whenever you get a chance
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Wes Haney
@westonhaney
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ಜುಲೈ 2 |
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Her: Honey, do you think I’m a good cook?
Me: Is CHEP a Brambles company? pic.twitter.com/UvHfTgwznV
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜುಲೈ 11 |
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civil.
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜುಲೈ 11 |
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the ladder is the destination
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜುಲೈ 11 |
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I thought getting married would bring us closer, but my husband and I are still at each other’s throats over who gets top bunk
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Jesse McLaren
@McJesse
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ಜುಲೈ 9 |
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To everyone who said I’d never make it. That I’ll always be a nobody. That I’d never amount to anything. What gave it away.
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜುಲೈ 9 |
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Ever since the kids went to camp, my husband and I have been having the hottest sex. We don’t have kids, we just find it erotic to think of kids at camp.
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜೂನ್ 28 |
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scaling back beach body plans from six-pack to evenly marbled
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜೂನ್ 28 |
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damn you girl you are SMOKING!!
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Kevin Sciretta
@kevinsciretta
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ಜೂನ್ 27 |
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When you have to pay to change your flight because you booked the wrong time but you realize at least you caught it now and the day of at the airport. pic.twitter.com/OJWF2EpaNA
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜೂನ್ 26 |
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Thought about going to an outdoor music event this summer, but then I remembered I could just as easily amputate my foot and chew on it
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| Jen Spyra ಮರುಟ್ವೀಟಿಸಿದ್ದಾರೆ | ||
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Stephen Colbert
@StephenAtHome
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ಜೂನ್ 26 |
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Well, at least something good came out of this weekend. I finally figured out my band name: Filthy Canopies
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜೂನ್ 21 |
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we gotta lay this down in the studio
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Jen Spyra
@jenspyra
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ಜೂನ್ 21 |
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hahahahaha
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