Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Fri October 07, 2016

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Hurricane Matthew discussion thread, day two. Stay safe, everyone, and check in when you can source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	26
		"What a pissoir" source: sfgate.com \| share:	14
		Strip club plans a voter outreach program in hopes of getting everyone to the poles source: azfamily.com \| share:	21

		Middle school students visiting a farm exposed to tear gas from a prison exercise after a wind shift source: kwqc.com \| share:	18
		With a wistful sigh, Ann Coulter calls Alicia Machado a "Hispanic mattress girl" source: rawstory.com \| share:	60
		What do you do when gauges have stretched your earlobes so thin you're afraid they'll tear? source: mirror.co.uk \| share:	32
		Russia threatens to shoot down U.S. warplanes flying over Syria source: express.co.uk \| share:	109
		If you want to live to 102, you better take up smoking soon source: metro.co.uk \| share:	38

		Years-old, iconic road sign "Go to church or the Devil will catch you" rebuilt after act of God blew it down. Jesus, they never listen to Me source: al.com \| share:	18
		Matthew up to Cat4, approaches U.S. coast at 16Mb/s source: wunderground.com \| share:	123

Thu October 06, 2016

	Red light camera company vs. patent troll. Pick your evil then click the link to see who won source: thenewspaper.com \| share:	52
	Gators evacuating from Hurricane Matthew concentrate in lake to wait out cyclone. "I bet you could count 50. I have never seen that many" source: clickorlando.com \| share:	26
	What's the best way to find out if a garbage can is bear-proof? Give it to the biggest bear you can find and see what happens source: azfamily.com \| share:	15
	80 percent of millennials have never eaten a Big Mac, as McDonald's "has gotten less relevant" to their dining choices source: avclub.com \| share:	218
	ISIS issues fatwa against indoor cat sex. Every decent American urged to grab strays in heat & set up feline Plato's Retreats in their living rooms source: theweek.com \| share:	16
	The first campaign ads for Giant Meteor 2016 finally arrive source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	24
	So, I dressed my elementary school students up as racial stereotypes, posted the photos to Instagram, and called them assholes. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? source: rawstory.com \| share:	35
	On the East Coast all you have is nothing but pandemonium concerning the clown circus overtaking all metropolises, at least on the West Coast you have local psychologists source: sfist.com \| share:	13
	Hurricane Matthew discussion thread. Stay safe and don't leave the house source: cnn.com \| share:	809
	Snorting heroin in a Walgreens washroom and collapsing on a sidewalk with your spouse? Just another day in Memphis, TN. Thankfully, some concerned bystanders were there to capture the human drama for YouTube source: cnews.canoe.com \| share:	52
	Oklahoma has declared October 13th a day of prayer ... for oil fields source: newsok.com \| share:	40
	You know, in times of distress and panic, its best to have a leader of your state reassure you that everythi- "This storm is going to kill you"....oh, well then. PANIC source: cnn.com \| share:	44
	Scientists develop fur suit after extensive beaver research source: engadget.com \| share:	19
	You're a cashier at Wendy's. You forget to ask for a disabled teen's name to print on his ticket. Do you: A) Leave the field blank, B) Ask his mother, or C) Type in "Lil Ugly Dude," watch him cry, and giggle about it with your manager behind the counter? source: al.com \| share:	81
	This could be the greatest hurricane story ever written. Warning: if you're in the path of Matthew, it contains spoilers source: slate.com \| share:	22
	Let us pause for a moment to thank the fine men and women of the Massachusetts State Police and National Guard who used a helicopter with thermal imaging and multiple vehicles and personnel in a raid that netted 1 pot plant from an 81 year old woman source: reason.com \| share:	85
	Couple move out of Denver after witnessing flagrant hobosexual activity source: denver.cbslocal.com \| share:	48
	Department of Defense investigates 3-star General's credit cards bills, many charges fell right in his lap source: nbcnews.com \| share:	42
	Photoshop these rider watchers source: yourshot.nationalgeographic.com \| share:	21
	Somehow an outhouse-turned-voting booth seems appropriate this election cycle source: wmur.com \| share:	9
	Man whose Domino's pizza never arrived is awarded a refund by the court. Fark: $1,200 source: newser.com \| share:	39
	Meet Little Timmy. Little Timmy is five years old. Little Timmy's mommy posted everything about him online. Now Little Timmy has three offshore bank accounts, 15 maxed-out credit cards, two pickup trucks, and 4 years of unpaid child support source: theatlantic.com \| share:	50
	Herd of coin-operated department store ponies returned to their native grazing lands source: cbc.ca \| share:	17
(Nassau Guardian)	Only one step left after this: kiss your ass goodbye source: thenassauguardian.com \| share:	24
	We have reached peak Florida. And The Smoking Gun is there source: thesmokinggun.com \| share:	39
	Behold, the 6th seal has been broken: a single page Cracked article source: cracked.com \| share:	45
	High school senior working on Photoshop certification superimposes clown behind tree with his school as backdrop, tweets it out to friends. Hilarity ensues source: tampabay.com \| share:	72
	Friendly deer named Doug captured by wildlife officers in Arkansas town, taken to "remote location" source: nwaonline.com \| share:	42
	Iraqi Minister explains the new airport location was chosen for its ideal weather conditions, which the aliens knew about when they built the world's first airport there 7000 years ago source: rt.com \| share:	30
	Fark Food Thread: Garden 101 aftermath- You've got fresh produce picked or soon to be harvested.. Now what? Keeping it fresh to use right away or are you preserving some? Show us the goodies source: extension.umn.edu \| share:	45
	Man goes to jail for life for dealing drugs to pay for his son's bone marrow transplant. Obama commutes his sentence, and he's freed. Two weeks later, he's in Christian "jail" source: theinfluence.org \| share:	152
	Hurricane Matthew makes a 90 degree turn rather than have to decide which bathroom to use in North Carolina source: wtop.com \| share:	26
	Fark Store Daily Deal: Wine essentials - corkscrew and pourer in a retro cylinder case that looks straight out of an old J. Peterman catalog or Joe vs. the Volcano movie. Quality / price? ehhh... smokebomb (Sponsored Link) source: deals.fark.com \| share:	4
	Lots of court drama here over a collectible 1970s Speed Buggy lunchbox source: pennlive.com \| share:	31
	Photoshop this sign-holder source: gannett-cdn.com \| share:	29
	Dad gets arrested after stealing someone else's purse in the waiting room while he's visiting critically injured son in ICU. Both dad and son were victims of assault during a home invasion source: kjrh.com \| share:	45
	Here's a roundup of the most bizarre objects surgeons have found up people's asses (SFW) source: metro.co.uk \| share:	71
	People staying behind to ride out Matthew reminded to write their social security number on at least one major body part with magic marker source: vox.com \| share:	96
	Looks like Putin really wants some attention and probably to be a bit taller source: reuters.com \| share:	66
	Gunfight at the BK Corral, featuring renowned firearms expert Wyatt Derp source: wthr.com \| share:	90
	Turns out there IS an upside to the massive increase in overdose deaths source: nytimes.com \| share:	109
	Study: Marijuana use that begins early in life leads to abnormal brain function, compulsive posting on Fark source: sciencedaily.com \| share:	193
	Ancient Mayan codex found to be the oldest document from the Americas, just barely surpassing Larry King's birth certificate source: foxnews.com \| share:	35
	Professional clown performing group start "Clown lives matter" in hopes of quenching fear of the creepy bastards source: foxnews.com \| share:	97
	"Hello, this is Joseph from the U.S. Tax Department, and I am calling because you are delinquent in your--hold on, someone is at the door" source: indianexpress.com \| share:	113
	Russia says US diplomats were not Litvinenko-ed, they just Winehoused themselves source: edition.cnn.com \| share:	35
	Singapore aquarium didn't learn a lesson from Steve Irwin source: ndtv.com \| share:	37
	Doesn't matter what we do, we'll never live past 125 years. So, you might as well stop exercising once you reach 100 source: dailymail.co.uk \| share:	199
	Norway's Prime Minister caught playing Pokemon Go during a session parliament. But what even happens in Norway anyway? source: time.com \| share:	82
	Head Dildonian Ammon Bundy defends his aviary siege in court, saying it was a peaceful action to try and gather support for his imaginary cause source: rawstory.com \| share:	228
	Donald Trump sure has starred in a lot of softcore porn source: thehill.com \| share:	144
	With a month to go, Hillary Clinton stretches her lead to 10 points. Trump reacts by calling all American women fat and challenging Rosie O'Donnell to a duel source: talkingpointsmemo.com \| share:	338
	"It was at that point my boyfriend got out the barbecue tongs to try and remove the vibrator from my bum" [Probably not safe for work] source: metro.co.uk \| share:	182
	Photoshop this interesting perspective source: i.imgur.com \| share:	22
	Scary clowns forget that Maine is the home of Pennywise and that Maine has dealt with this shiat before source: sunjournal.com \| share:	82
	Man sentenced to three years in prison for stealing U.S. corn secrets from Monsanto source: kwqc.com \| share:	127
	Sorry folks, Florida is closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya source: ktvb.com \| share:	309
	Do, commas, still, matter,? Subby, is, asking, for, a, friend source: washingtonpost.com \| share:	90
	Looks like I picked the wrong week to start eating paint source: cpsc.gov \| share:	26
	Russian TV channel issues warning to citizens that nuclear war with the West could be imminent source: metro.co.uk \| share:	145
	Tennessee mom is outraged that her child learns something. That's not what she expects from the Tennessee school system source: huffingtonpost.com \| share:	244
	International divisions of Taco Bell offer seemingly tastier items like kimchi quesadilla, tikka masala burrito, and gordita with fries and tzatziki sauce. "Japan was represented by the Shrimp & Avocado Burrito" source: brandeating.com \| share:	76
	Forget it, Jake. It's Fox News source: theslot.jezebel.com \| share:	262
	Indian authorities capture pair of Pakistani spy pigeons before they could plot coo source: blogs.wsj.com \| share:	69
	Theme of Farktography Contest No. 596: "The Fungus Among Us". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme source: farktography.net \| share:	47

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