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Mark
@
NoticablyBacon
Whitewater WI
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According to my degree I'm some kind of writer, but I've been writing forever. So really I'm just a guy in a lot of debt.
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5.796
Tweetler
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21.845
Takip ediliyor
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32.253
Takipçiler
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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23 dk. |
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Coworker:hows your Monday going
*flashes back to this morning when I was running around covered in bees*
Me: Same as always
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 sa. |
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If I gained the ability to read minds tomorrow theres a zero percent chance of me using that power responsibly and im headed to Vegas
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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11 sa. |
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*eating 7th doughnut*
Welp looks like im gonna have to find a girl that likes my personality
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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17 sa. |
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No matter what I joke about this girls response is something like "thats insensitive my mother use to be a lobster I think thats offensive"
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REW
@therealeatwood
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12 Ağu |
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ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it
BARISTA: I have a latte for “A Person Who Deserves Love”?
ME [crying]: Hahaha
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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I thought i knew what a hug was and then i met @david8hughes he can hug you with words #FF
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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Did @PaperWash invent trees?!? no but he made some rad tweets #FF
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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when i met @T_N_Crumpets we were both walking the plank off a pirate ship fastforward 40 years and now we're both on Twitter #FF
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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@T_Bonezzz_ and i go way back like way back i saw him invent the wheel and the first cool hand shake we all owe him thanks #FF
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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I met @truegritrumble at a pool hall i was in speedo he had floaties we were both disappointed at the lack of water #ff
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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There I was balling when @lisaxy424 showed up, she tomahawk dunked over me and then did the worm.. I still haven't recovered #FF
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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9th grade Jazz recital i practiced all year and then a 20 y/o @brentcetera bust in with his saxophone and won the judges hearts #ff
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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It was the Lumber jack competition of 09 it was me verse @EyeSeeYou619 in the pancake eating competition she beat me by 45 #FF her
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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This weeks stats: 423 followers lost 4 Tinder matches, struck out on Tinder 5 times, made a pigeon friend, carpet is still lava
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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Bro: Are you going out tonight?
Me *sitting in the tub halfway through eating a pizza*: idk man im kinda in the middle of something
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Mark
@NoticablyBacon
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10 Tem |
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Guess who has a date tonight?
*cracks beer* not me
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REW
@therealeatwood
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5 Tem |
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1966: Your soul is in chains. Go to the woods, beat a drum and scream out loud. Free your mind.
2016: Here, do a fuckin’ coloring book
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Bonez
@T_Bonezzz_
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24 Nis |
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Ocean Floor
Crab: Hey
Imitation Crab: Hey
C: Do I know u?
IC: Do I know u?
C: Stop that
IC: Stop that
C: *moves sideways
IC:*moves sideways
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Just Bill
@WilliamAder
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9 Tem |
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Drove a wedge of suspicion today between the fast food employee at the first window and the one at the second.
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