Randi Mayem Singerحساب تایید شده

*chasing after the person that just robbed my house* TEXT ME WHEN YOU GET HOME SO I KNOW YOU GOT BACK SAFELY

Excellent work Billy Ray @WMR_Ray & @chrskeyser - LOVED #TheLastTycoon! Check it out @AmazonVideo #AmazonPilots and vote, everyone!

Gun purchases should be banned for people on the No Fly list or anyone who likes your Facebook pics from 5 years ago at 3 in the morning.

I try to date guys who look good without heads because I know eventually they'll be cropped out.

Sorry, Great Britain, I saw EU out tonight with a much younger, hotter country.

Whoa, I just saw Britain at the drugstore asking where the Plan B is.

There's no mutual admiration greater than what's shared between two drunk girls in the ladies room on a Saturday night.

Even if I've eaten, I identify as hungry.

The only qualification Donald Trump has to be president is his familiarity with several gross national products.

Today in a nutshell: The UK wants a do-over on Brexit & the GOP wants a do-over on the Comb-over.

Sometimes I like to block total strangers who haven't said a thing to me personally. So I get it, serial killers, I get it.

It's like Britain woke up with a horrible hangover only to realize it just slept with a dodgy guy who promised a bunch of bullshit.

If I were the EU I would NOT be home when Britain comes to pick up all its stuff.

don't say anything bad about the EU in front of Britain in case they get back together and we all have to go to brunch together or something

We should probably not let Trump back to the U.S. until we figure out what's going on.

Anyone know if the dude who put red Nazi golfballs all over Trump's Scotland course is single?

Please @HillaryClinton run a commercial w/ justTrump staff frantically using Make America Great Again hats to scoop up swastika golf balls!

The way it makes people lose pounds, won't be long before there's a #Brexit Diet.

I think I just saw England on Tinder.