Note: I moved this post up from last year (and the year before) because Thanksgiving should be scary.
This is the Cthulhu inspired Christmas dinner made by Texan Rusty Eulberg and his wife. It consists of a bacon layered turkey (although I'm using the term 'layered' very lightly because three strips ain't shit) with crab legs underneath and a couple octopus tentacles poking out of its ass. Would you eat it? "God no." I love how easily you lie to yourself.
According to Eulberg, he and wife Jennifer Robledo "wanted to do something unique for Christmas dinner with friends of ours. Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken."
Eulberg says, "The universal reaction was, 'Oh my God, I couldn't eat that.' But each individual piece was cooked separately; all I did was set them together on the plate. It was delicious.
Ah, so all the different pieces were cooked separately. In that case I call all the crab legs. "But--" But nothing, pass the butter. "You can't have ALL the crab legs." I can and I will. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be at the kid's table. They get me over there.
Keep going for two more shots of the taste sensation.
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From our sibling site I Watch Stuff:
Taking place after the events of Winter Soldier and Age of Ultron left a lot of shit broke, Captain America: Civil War sees the government looking to restrict the authority of superheroes, and to seek out and destroy the now-rehabilitated Bucky for his crimes. Tony Stark is basically, like, "Yeah, that makes sense. I did create a pretty rotten Robo-Spader." Captain America, however, has a fairly pithy counterargument: "That's not the way I see it." As such, a line is drawn in the sand, and Avenger is pitted against Avenger in a large-scale inter-office field day gone awry.
Here's the first trailer. Prepare for intense, personal action; a first look at Black Panther; and, unfortunately, scarcely a bug-based hero to be found.
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If you go to Google.com and search 'A long time ago in a galaxy far far away', the results will appear in a Star Wars opening style crawl, complete with audio. It worked for me in Chrome but not in Firefox. Many Bothans died to bring us this information. Just kidding, allegedly zero Bothans died although the smell in the men's restroom right now leads me to believe otherwise.
Thanks to everyone who sent this, who agree the best eggs are actually deviled. I'm going to eat least a dozen on Thanksgiving -- you watch.
Did you know there's a new Star Wars movie coming out? That was news to me. Of course I only get my news from the postman who makes the trek to my mountain cave twice a year (once if the bridge trolls are on strike), so I'm usually a little behind. This is a video of Blendtec guy Tom Dickson blending a Jar Jar Binks toy. It was not as cathartic as I was hoping it would be. Maybe because, deep down, I know that Jar Jar really grew on me. Like a wart. A wart with an ugly face that you just want to cut off with a knife but you're too afraid to because you don't have medical insurance and are worried it will never stop bleeding.
Hit the jump for the video, then take all your roommate's vintage Star Wars toy and see if they blend and/or burn.
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14-year old Lucas Etter of Kentucky has set a new world record for solving a 3x3 Rubik's cube, with a time of 4.904 seconds. Lucas set the record at a World Cube Association event in Maryland, and beat the previous record of 5.09 seconds (set earlier that day at the same event), and became the first to solve a cube in under 5 seconds. The record prior to that day was 5.25 seconds, set back in April. Man, it must have been a bittersweet victory for the first guy to beat the record that day. You think you're on top, then somebody comes along THE VERY SAME DAY and takes everything away from you. You know what they say though: It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I'm just not sure how that applies here, because I'd be f***ing pissed.
Keep going for a video of the victorious feeling.
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This is the Space Capsule Tea Infuser designed and sold by ThinkGeek ($10). It looks like a little astronaut and space capsule. It is perfect for the space and tea loving person on your gift list. Don't have a space and tea loving person on your gift list? ADD ME, I AM THAT PERSON. Although I don't see why people care so much about not drinking tea leaves. I actually prefer solids in my tea. AND coffee. The sludge of coffee grounds at the bottom of the mug is my favorite part. Plus sometimes when I don't have time to make coffee in the morning I just chew coffee beans on my ride to work. My doctor says that's why my teeth are brown.
Keep going for a couple more shots.
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This is a video from the Slow-Mo Guys of a homemade fire tornado filmed in ultra slow motion. Previously: a natural fire tornado in (where else?) Australia. It was pretty mesmerizing to watch. You know what's even scarier than a fire tornado though? A LAVA HURRICANE. I like to call them lavacanes. "There's no such thing as lavacanes." What about windquakes? "No." Well I'm going to invent a fantasy universe where they do exist, and I'm gonna make a fortune writing books about wizards and sea monsters and all the other cool shit that lives there. Obviously, they will be romance novels, because if there's one thing I know how to write, it's a steamy sex scene. Check this out: She was fondling her pert breasts under his 1500 thread count Egyptian cotton bedsheets when he appeared at the bathroom door, swinging his penis around like an old-timey airplane propeller, just itching to take off. She smiled coyly before raising herself up in the bed and projectile vomiting all over the comforter because food poisoning from Applebee's the night before. Wait, wait -- let me start over.
Keep going for the video.
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This is a video compilation of all the non-doctor performed amputations in the Star Wars film franchise. It was pretty brutal. I can't help but always feel bad for that wampa every time Luke cuts its arm off. I know he was going to kill and eat him, but over time I kind of grew to like that wampa. "He was on screen for four seconds." WE HAD A CONNECTION. I don't expect you to understand.
Keep going for the video, then be careful carving the turkey this Thanksgiving.
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