roger the cat, otakate : licking himself, farting, fart cloud, maow maow of course i'm worried about the election! lick lick everyone is worried about the election! lick fart i just wish the other orange guy was as well-spoken as you.

Rhymes With Orange

Are you worried about the election? Roger and Kate are.

– @rstevens



electron mike, otakate : turkey, eating frosting, are you eating a turkey and a tub of frosting? my alignment is chaotic hungry! you don't have to make excuses for being weird around me. i'm weird? you're just figuring this out now?

Turduckake

This exact thing happened to me once. Apparently I'm weird?

– @rstevens



metal steve, indie rock pete : crab thought balloon poop emoji hey there-i'll come back when there's a different animal above your head. later... i guess that's progress. same crab, different day.

Digesting Some Thoughts

Tonight's comic is... kind of crabby.

– @rstevens



maura, csstine : virtual reality, grid, coffee, are those things prescription? kind of. let me guess- instead of fixing your vision, they correct reality? kind of. can i try them on? can you promise actual reality will be as wonderful as the fantasy world i've created for myself? batman unicorn super mario so, that's a maybe?

Don't Ask to Borrow my Virtual Reality

I feel like asking someone to wear their VR goggles is like asking someone in the 80s to lend you their Nintendo controller.

– @rstevens



maura, csstine : virtual reality, grid, coffee, i'm drinking coffee in the real world... ...while also drinking coffee in virtual reality! and how is that different from just drinking coffee? how dare you. in the nineties, you would have worshipped me as a god! rotating skull

The Lawnmower Macchiato

What time is it? IT'S VIRTUAL REALITY TIME

– @rstevens



maura, csstine : who do you think would win in a fight: introverts or extroverts? ... backs away ... i know which one of us is harder to get into a fight!

Ultimate Flighting

who do you think would win in a fight: introverts or extroverts?

Ooh, a new mug!

– @rstevens



indie rock pete, red robot : i feel old. finally, a feeling i care about. do you think i'm old? of course not! i have empirical evidence that you are old! stop doing math to my feelings. i would, but it ruins your day!

Counting Rings

I guess I'm lucky, because I've always felt old. It's a gift.

– @rstevens



indie rock pete, otakate : i disagree with your bad taste in music- -but i respect your right to be wrong. i know those words, but i've never heard them in that order. that's what we used to say before going straight to death threats with everything. oh my god, you're so old!

It's Great to be Wrong

It was a simpler time. The early internet. Where we could disagree, but only sometimes threaten to kill one another.

– @rstevens



indie rock pete, otakate : music was better when i was a kid. really? prove it. if it wasn't, why did we all pay for it? because you didn't have internet. we had internet! i'm indie rock pete, not disco dial-up dave. then why wasn't your music free? how else were we supposed to exclude people from enjoying it?

These Discs Were Compact, Once

Eight words you never want to hear: Music was better when I was a kid.

– @rstevens



maura, nipples the bear, indie rock pete : nipples the bear! long time, no see. hey, no fair! i've got nipples of my own! how come that gets to be his brand? eww, gross!you said

A Dual-Pronged Attack

There is only one truly gross thing in this world... brands.

– @rstevens



csstine, pale suzie : holding coffee, outside, sunshine, horns, bat wings, ugh! it's too hot for coffee. how dare you. summer is miserable enough already. of course you're miserable! you've chosen nature over caffeine. isn't coffee part of nature? not the way i use it.

Temperate Climates

Hot coffee in the summer, never, ever a bummer.

– @rstevens



maura, electron mike : stop ruining my childhood! i did what now? those movies defined my childhood. stop changing them on me! those movies were my childhood. so, you didn't actually have your own childhood?

Ghostbust Me a River

I've got one rule of thumb when it comes to growing up: Movies are not your childhood.

– @rstevens



maura, electron mike : i like your shelves of sex toys! they're not sex toys! they're action figures! action figures? stop having impure thoughts about my toys! your fully articulated toys? why do people keep retroactively ruining childhood.

Fully Articulating

Action figures are the new sex toys.

– @rstevens



torpor, suzie : holding coffee torpor not care if torpor can get drugs high from the coffee. torpor want learn to make coffee to be better friend! you mean you want me to owe you a favor? if by

Clear Motivations

Making coffee for others is the highest form of friendship.

– @rstevens



torpor, suzie : holding coffee may torpor please try coffee, suzie lady? you can, but it won't work on you. why does coffee hate torpor? coffee doesn't hate you, little buddy. hooray! torpor love coffee! but you've never even tried coffee. torpor not need coffee to feel love. yeah, you definitely don't drink coffee.

The Chemical-Free Life

Poor Torpor. Cursed to live in a world where coffee doesn't work.

– @rstevens



csstine, library anne : holding a book, what's the big deal about analog books? all the other content you consume is digital! uuuurrrggggghhh the truth hurts, eh? what hurts is you just called my favorite book

Content Content Content

My least favorite word? Definitely content. Gross.

– @rstevens



csstine, library anne : holding a book, reading, whoa! is that a vinyl book?! paper. it's a paper book. i hear those have a warmer, fuller sound. compared to a dropped tablet shattering? how do gifs work on there? exactly how gifs in novels should work. how many books can you fit on there? only one, but you actually finish reading it.

Words by the Slice

I swear to you, I saw a REAL PAPER BOOK yesterday!

PS:

– @rstevens



electron mike, clango : holding phone, charging cord, thanks for letting me charge my phone off your butt! no problem. it's my pleasure! does it still count as doing me a favor if you enjoy it? all are entitled to their fair share of the glorious natural resources in my butt!

By the Mighty Power of BUTTS

The greatest power on Earth is BUTTS. You know it and I know it.

PS:

– @rstevens



lord taco-puss, pale suzie : you're a good kitty, lord taco puss. mew mew mew no one asked your opinion, food beast! i am cat! i am beyond such puny human concepts as good and evil! just the sweetest little kitty i know! mew!

BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL

FEAR! Thy name is TACO PUSS. You're lucky I speak cat or you'd be in trouble.

– @rstevens



csstine, lord taco-puss, pale suzie : bloody shirt cat rubbing purr purr aww, how sweet! the kitty rubs you because he considers you a friend! fart purr mmm that means he'd regret eating you if you died!

Marked For Friendship

The thing about cat ownership is that it doesn't work in the direction you think.

– @rstevens





SECRET SHIRT DO NOT CLICK



roger the cat, otakate : licking himself, farting, fart cloud, maow maow of course i'm worried about the election! lick lick everyone is worried about the election! lick fart i just wish the other orange guy was as well-spoken as you.

Rhymes With Orange

Are you worried about the election? Roger and Kate are.

– @rstevens


electron mike, otakate : turkey, eating frosting, are you eating a turkey and a tub of frosting? my alignment is chaotic hungry! you don't have to make excuses for being weird around me. i'm weird? you're just figuring this out now?

Turduckake

This exact thing happened to me once. Apparently I'm weird?

– @rstevens


metal steve, indie rock pete : crab thought balloon poop emoji hey there-i'll come back when there's a different animal above your head. later... i guess that's progress. same crab, different day.

Digesting Some Thoughts

Tonight's comic is... kind of crabby.

– @rstevens


maura, csstine : virtual reality, grid, coffee, are those things prescription? kind of. let me guess- instead of fixing your vision, they correct reality? kind of. can i try them on? can you promise actual reality will be as wonderful as the fantasy world i've created for myself? batman unicorn super mario so, that's a maybe?

Don't Ask to Borrow my Virtual Reality

I feel like asking someone to wear their VR goggles is like asking someone in the 80s to lend you their Nintendo controller.

– @rstevens


maura, csstine : virtual reality, grid, coffee, i'm drinking coffee in the real world... ...while also drinking coffee in virtual reality! and how is that different from just drinking coffee? how dare you. in the nineties, you would have worshipped me as a god! rotating skull

The Lawnmower Macchiato

What time is it? IT'S VIRTUAL REALITY TIME

– @rstevens


maura, csstine : who do you think would win in a fight: introverts or extroverts? ... backs away ... i know which one of us is harder to get into a fight!

Ultimate Flighting

who do you think would win in a fight: introverts or extroverts?

Ooh, a new mug!

– @rstevens


indie rock pete, red robot : i feel old. finally, a feeling i care about. do you think i'm old? of course not! i have empirical evidence that you are old! stop doing math to my feelings. i would, but it ruins your day!

Counting Rings

I guess I'm lucky, because I've always felt old. It's a gift.

– @rstevens


indie rock pete, otakate : i disagree with your bad taste in music- -but i respect your right to be wrong. i know those words, but i've never heard them in that order. that's what we used to say before going straight to death threats with everything. oh my god, you're so old!

It's Great to be Wrong

It was a simpler time. The early internet. Where we could disagree, but only sometimes threaten to kill one another.

– @rstevens


indie rock pete, otakate : music was better when i was a kid. really? prove it. if it wasn't, why did we all pay for it? because you didn't have internet. we had internet! i'm indie rock pete, not disco dial-up dave. then why wasn't your music free? how else were we supposed to exclude people from enjoying it?

These Discs Were Compact, Once

Eight words you never want to hear: Music was better when I was a kid.

– @rstevens


maura, nipples the bear, indie rock pete : nipples the bear! long time, no see. hey, no fair! i've got nipples of my own! how come that gets to be his brand? eww, gross!you said

A Dual-Pronged Attack

There is only one truly gross thing in this world... brands.

– @rstevens


csstine, pale suzie : holding coffee, outside, sunshine, horns, bat wings, ugh! it's too hot for coffee. how dare you. summer is miserable enough already. of course you're miserable! you've chosen nature over caffeine. isn't coffee part of nature? not the way i use it.

Temperate Climates

Hot coffee in the summer, never, ever a bummer.

– @rstevens


maura, electron mike : stop ruining my childhood! i did what now? those movies defined my childhood. stop changing them on me! those movies were my childhood. so, you didn't actually have your own childhood?

Ghostbust Me a River

I've got one rule of thumb when it comes to growing up: Movies are not your childhood.

– @rstevens


maura, electron mike : i like your shelves of sex toys! they're not sex toys! they're action figures! action figures? stop having impure thoughts about my toys! your fully articulated toys? why do people keep retroactively ruining childhood.

Fully Articulating

Action figures are the new sex toys.

– @rstevens


torpor, suzie : holding coffee torpor not care if torpor can get drugs high from the coffee. torpor want learn to make coffee to be better friend! you mean you want me to owe you a favor? if by

Clear Motivations

Making coffee for others is the highest form of friendship.

– @rstevens


torpor, suzie : holding coffee may torpor please try coffee, suzie lady? you can, but it won't work on you. why does coffee hate torpor? coffee doesn't hate you, little buddy. hooray! torpor love coffee! but you've never even tried coffee. torpor not need coffee to feel love. yeah, you definitely don't drink coffee.

The Chemical-Free Life

Poor Torpor. Cursed to live in a world where coffee doesn't work.

– @rstevens


csstine, library anne : holding a book, what's the big deal about analog books? all the other content you consume is digital! uuuurrrggggghhh the truth hurts, eh? what hurts is you just called my favorite book

Content Content Content

My least favorite word? Definitely content. Gross.

– @rstevens


csstine, library anne : holding a book, reading, whoa! is that a vinyl book?! paper. it's a paper book. i hear those have a warmer, fuller sound. compared to a dropped tablet shattering? how do gifs work on there? exactly how gifs in novels should work. how many books can you fit on there? only one, but you actually finish reading it.

Words by the Slice

I swear to you, I saw a REAL PAPER BOOK yesterday!

PS:

– @rstevens


electron mike, clango : holding phone, charging cord, thanks for letting me charge my phone off your butt! no problem. it's my pleasure! does it still count as doing me a favor if you enjoy it? all are entitled to their fair share of the glorious natural resources in my butt!

By the Mighty Power of BUTTS

The greatest power on Earth is BUTTS. You know it and I know it.

PS:

– @rstevens


lord taco-puss, pale suzie : you're a good kitty, lord taco puss. mew mew mew no one asked your opinion, food beast! i am cat! i am beyond such puny human concepts as good and evil! just the sweetest little kitty i know! mew!

BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL

FEAR! Thy name is TACO PUSS. You're lucky I speak cat or you'd be in trouble.

– @rstevens


csstine, lord taco-puss, pale suzie : bloody shirt cat rubbing purr purr aww, how sweet! the kitty rubs you because he considers you a friend! fart purr mmm that means he'd regret eating you if you died!

Marked For Friendship

The thing about cat ownership is that it doesn't work in the direction you think.

– @rstevens




footr