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True Facts
Sirs,
The drugs today aren’t nearly depraved enough for this particular odyssey. Writing has gone the way of birds eating filet mignons at The Palm, as cloud-faced lollyloos saunter meaninglessly through the death-throes of capitalistic political correctness. (Try to keep up, numbnuts.) Someone get me a damn glass of whiskey before I jet outta my nuthouse in your corporate black Trans-AM. Like Burt Reynolds. Yeah. The Bandit. Awaiting more articles. This IBM Selectric is ausuxxxxxhxxxxxx-
Best of luck,
P.J. O’Rourke
Sirs,
Thanks for making your server password so simple – “poon” was our second guess.
Love,
The F.B.I.
PS – Our first guess was “Dipshits”
Sirs,
Finally. No worries.
Up yours,
Alfred E. Neumann
Sirs,
We haven’t forgotten about that dog.
En garde!
-P.E.T.A.
Sirs,
We have a little saying where I come from: “Sex sells.”
So, boobs?
Sincerely,
Internet reader
Sirs,
Interested in any Donald Trump material?
Regards,
Your writers
Sirs,
You may be interested in a little piece of mine called “True Facts.”
Ch-ch-check it out!
– Fat Jew
Sirs,
Let me be clear – you were not missed.
-President Barack Obama
