Conan O'Brien认证账号

Just searched “Trump psychological profile” and crashed WebMD.

Even if Big Ben does go silent, I bet it won’t shut up about its new juice cleanse.

Just think, 100 years from now, our grandchildren will be taking down Senator Kid Rock statues.

When the eclipse comes I’m going to borrow the special glasses my wife uses when I’m shirtless.

Once asked SNL legend Herb Sargent what's the funniest thing you ever saw? He instantly said, "Martin and Lewis, 1940's, in a club."

Can’t we just go back to being on the brink of nuclear war?

A big hello to new White House communications director Hope Hic--what, fired?

I heard the iPhone 15 won't have any ports or jacks or a screen and it will just be a smooth steel ball and finally we'll all be happy.

On August 21st, there will be a total eclipse - which will look amazing after you miss it and see pics of it online the next day.

Had that nightmare where my chute doesn’t open and I hit the ground, and the last thing I hear is a cannibal shouting “5-second rule!”

Breaking: Conan O’Brien sends Conan O’Brien to Israel to help Jared Kushner. Stay tuned. #ConanIsrael #ConanWithoutBordershttps://twitter.com/TIME/status/896082555278999555 …

Remember when all we had to worry about was Ebola? Good times.

Just think, we’ll be able to tell our grandchildren, “I remember the day President Trump tweeted the nuclear launch codes.”

Never been so nostalgic for Kim Jong-il.

The only tan I’m getting this summer is a caftan!* *Excerpted from my Golden Girls spec script.

I think it’s wrong to just steal honey from the bees, so I always make sure to leave behind a few “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” DVDs.